Forums
New posts
Search forums
What's new
New posts
New profile posts
Latest activity
Internet Search
Members
Current visitors
New profile posts
Search profile posts
Log in
Register
What's new
Search
Search
Search titles only
By:
New posts
Search forums
Menu
Log in
Register
Install the app
Install
Forums
Parent Support Forums
General Parenting
Sonic back in the mental health system...Obsessive Compulsive Disorder (OCD) or something.
JavaScript is disabled. For a better experience, please enable JavaScript in your browser before proceeding.
You are using an out of date browser. It may not display this or other websites correctly.
You should upgrade or use an
alternative browser
.
Reply to thread
Message
<blockquote data-quote="buddy" data-source="post: 533428" data-attributes="member: 12886"><p>G, sorry you are thinking of leaving. Maybe think of it this way.... if we were a group in real life, a support group, billed as support for parents raising difficult child kids, would you go in person and join? I would probably not do that, just like I would not join a group for patients who are going through heart disease. I have lots of experience with that in my family but I am not a patient (for now) so would not offer ideas etc...even if they were truly helpful. </p><p></p><p>I recently called a domestic violence line to see if there was a group I could go to because my son is so aggressive. They described that most of their people are s eeking safe shelter and though we had many things in common, the focus of their work is not really related to what I was experiencing and I was welcomed to come, but they were concerned I would not feel much support. </p><p></p><p></p><p> It is maybe a difference between looking for help alone versus support and true moments of "I can TOTALLY relate". Even within this site, many of us (thank heaven because I appreciate it so much) will read other forums, especially since we have formed relationships with people who are parenting from the perspective of multiple forums..... (substance abuse, general, parent emeritus,etc.) and we may comment, but those comments are typically couched in terms like....I am not living this exact experience so I am just here to say I am thinking of you....or if we do offer thoughts, we clearly explain (unless the poster already knows where our heart is coming from due to knowing eachother for a while) at the start of things that we have not actually lived it from that perspective..... </p><p></p><p>So, in this group we typically both need and offer parenting support. While there have been times we have been able to try to support you, it has been from a different perspective from the focus of this group. And this happens not only with you but for us at times and with a few others who join in here. Many of us are like you, just willing to offer help. So, while you are welcome (in my humble opinion) it is just that you need to realize it is not a personal attack to say that you simply do not have the life experience that is what this forum is designed for. You have related experience and that is valuable....but you are not a parent or raising difficult child's and that is what the group is for. There are billions of people who could offer great help to us, but many of us can find lots of that in real life....but what we rarely find is someone in our shoes.</p><p></p><p>It is helpful to hear what a difficult child thinks but you can imagine that from our perspective you might not understand the big picture, and this is not said to hurt you, but the view from a perspective where you have HUGE responsibility for another human being....as a parent (many of us also have what you have...care for our parents or relatives too--but it is different)for choices, outcomes, etc....is quite different from offering help and ideas even with expert knowledge. I am a professional in one area sometimes talked about on this board. Many other parents here are as well. I put that job and ideas from that experience (which is since the80's ) FAR below my parenting experience. The comfort from having a fellow parent lend ideas and support has literally saved my emotional sanity this past year. </p><p></p><p>So, it is not a personal thing, it is just a matter of different life experience G. You seem to be a kind person. I stayed out of this until now, but I have grown to care for you....and I worry that you need a group for people who are experiencing and living a life following growing up as a difficult child. For people like you who have a lot to offer and still need to w ork through several challenges from your own perspective. There are many here who can also relate to that! Maybe you can start a site like that if there is not one. We have kids in our lives who may appreciate that! And I hope you dont feel like you are not wanted, it is just a matter of perspective.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="buddy, post: 533428, member: 12886"] G, sorry you are thinking of leaving. Maybe think of it this way.... if we were a group in real life, a support group, billed as support for parents raising difficult child kids, would you go in person and join? I would probably not do that, just like I would not join a group for patients who are going through heart disease. I have lots of experience with that in my family but I am not a patient (for now) so would not offer ideas etc...even if they were truly helpful. I recently called a domestic violence line to see if there was a group I could go to because my son is so aggressive. They described that most of their people are s eeking safe shelter and though we had many things in common, the focus of their work is not really related to what I was experiencing and I was welcomed to come, but they were concerned I would not feel much support. It is maybe a difference between looking for help alone versus support and true moments of "I can TOTALLY relate". Even within this site, many of us (thank heaven because I appreciate it so much) will read other forums, especially since we have formed relationships with people who are parenting from the perspective of multiple forums..... (substance abuse, general, parent emeritus,etc.) and we may comment, but those comments are typically couched in terms like....I am not living this exact experience so I am just here to say I am thinking of you....or if we do offer thoughts, we clearly explain (unless the poster already knows where our heart is coming from due to knowing eachother for a while) at the start of things that we have not actually lived it from that perspective..... So, in this group we typically both need and offer parenting support. While there have been times we have been able to try to support you, it has been from a different perspective from the focus of this group. And this happens not only with you but for us at times and with a few others who join in here. Many of us are like you, just willing to offer help. So, while you are welcome (in my humble opinion) it is just that you need to realize it is not a personal attack to say that you simply do not have the life experience that is what this forum is designed for. You have related experience and that is valuable....but you are not a parent or raising difficult child's and that is what the group is for. There are billions of people who could offer great help to us, but many of us can find lots of that in real life....but what we rarely find is someone in our shoes. It is helpful to hear what a difficult child thinks but you can imagine that from our perspective you might not understand the big picture, and this is not said to hurt you, but the view from a perspective where you have HUGE responsibility for another human being....as a parent (many of us also have what you have...care for our parents or relatives too--but it is different)for choices, outcomes, etc....is quite different from offering help and ideas even with expert knowledge. I am a professional in one area sometimes talked about on this board. Many other parents here are as well. I put that job and ideas from that experience (which is since the80's ) FAR below my parenting experience. The comfort from having a fellow parent lend ideas and support has literally saved my emotional sanity this past year. So, it is not a personal thing, it is just a matter of different life experience G. You seem to be a kind person. I stayed out of this until now, but I have grown to care for you....and I worry that you need a group for people who are experiencing and living a life following growing up as a difficult child. For people like you who have a lot to offer and still need to w ork through several challenges from your own perspective. There are many here who can also relate to that! Maybe you can start a site like that if there is not one. We have kids in our lives who may appreciate that! And I hope you dont feel like you are not wanted, it is just a matter of perspective. [/QUOTE]
Insert quotes…
Verification
Post reply
Forums
Parent Support Forums
General Parenting
Sonic back in the mental health system...Obsessive Compulsive Disorder (OCD) or something.
Top