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General Parenting
Sonic back in the mental health system...Obsessive Compulsive Disorder (OCD) or something.
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<blockquote data-quote="BusynMember" data-source="post: 533430" data-attributes="member: 1550"><p>Well, I have her on ignore now. But I find she is young, overly arrogant and not very helpful. She can stay, but obviously she is offending some people. I just tend to be one of those who are more outspoken than others. But since there is an ignore function, I don't have to read the responses. I feel like enough is going on in my life (I can not speak for anyone else) that I don't need to argue with a difficult child who can not get her life together. I would be more impressed if the difficult child were out living on her own because that is what we all want for our kids by that age. </p><p></p><p>Whether or not it is easy or hard for a grown difficult child to ask for assistance or live alone...they have no choice in the end and in my opinion that are old enough to learn on the run, if necessary. If there are mental health issues, there is community support that can make one more independent than living at home...there is assisted living and group homes. At least the difficult child is semi-independent and forced to learn skills. There is welfare, food stamps, and housing assistance for those who are unable to work as well as Disability. It is best to teach your grown child to be able to survive for the days when nobody is there for him/her. </p><p></p><p>There is a Downs Syndrome boy who is about thirty and lives around here. His mother is quite old and looks haggard and takes him everywhere with her. There are resources for people with Downs Syndrome. Many live in apartments with help or in group homes. The parents can still be very active in their children's lives for as long as they are healthy (and alive). But the transition when the parent is no longer around is gentler if they learn to trust others as well. I think about this young man at times. He has no siblings and I don't think he has a father either. He is higher functioning and could learn skills, and I wish his mother would allow him to do so. </p><p></p><p>In Special Olympics, where my son participates, most of those young adults are in assisted living and have jobs and are maybe 85% independent with 15% caregivers. Sonic is the only one who still lives at home because he is still so young. The age range is 18-whatever. It is heartening to watch these brave young people who are very close knit and having a blast. </p><p></p><p>There is help, at least in the US, for every sort of disabled person. It isn't easy to get or freely given out and THAT is where the parents come in...as advocates to get these services for our adult children. in my opinion our job is to be the warrior mom, not the constant caregiver. A lot of times kids step up to the plate when they have to and act quite the young child around Mom and Dad. Even my grown kids like me to baby them when I am around and I do! </p><p></p><p>At any rate, G, you point seems to be that some young adults still need their parents. I strongly disagree that this is a viable solution since all of us die before our kids. We need to help our kids seek as much independence as we can, for their sakes as well as ours. </p><p></p><p>I can not see your posts anymore so you can answer, but understand, I am not going to read it. I am just venting and hopefully this will be the last time I will feel like I have to vent. I wish you luck.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="BusynMember, post: 533430, member: 1550"] Well, I have her on ignore now. But I find she is young, overly arrogant and not very helpful. She can stay, but obviously she is offending some people. I just tend to be one of those who are more outspoken than others. But since there is an ignore function, I don't have to read the responses. I feel like enough is going on in my life (I can not speak for anyone else) that I don't need to argue with a difficult child who can not get her life together. I would be more impressed if the difficult child were out living on her own because that is what we all want for our kids by that age. Whether or not it is easy or hard for a grown difficult child to ask for assistance or live alone...they have no choice in the end and in my opinion that are old enough to learn on the run, if necessary. If there are mental health issues, there is community support that can make one more independent than living at home...there is assisted living and group homes. At least the difficult child is semi-independent and forced to learn skills. There is welfare, food stamps, and housing assistance for those who are unable to work as well as Disability. It is best to teach your grown child to be able to survive for the days when nobody is there for him/her. There is a Downs Syndrome boy who is about thirty and lives around here. His mother is quite old and looks haggard and takes him everywhere with her. There are resources for people with Downs Syndrome. Many live in apartments with help or in group homes. The parents can still be very active in their children's lives for as long as they are healthy (and alive). But the transition when the parent is no longer around is gentler if they learn to trust others as well. I think about this young man at times. He has no siblings and I don't think he has a father either. He is higher functioning and could learn skills, and I wish his mother would allow him to do so. In Special Olympics, where my son participates, most of those young adults are in assisted living and have jobs and are maybe 85% independent with 15% caregivers. Sonic is the only one who still lives at home because he is still so young. The age range is 18-whatever. It is heartening to watch these brave young people who are very close knit and having a blast. There is help, at least in the US, for every sort of disabled person. It isn't easy to get or freely given out and THAT is where the parents come in...as advocates to get these services for our adult children. in my opinion our job is to be the warrior mom, not the constant caregiver. A lot of times kids step up to the plate when they have to and act quite the young child around Mom and Dad. Even my grown kids like me to baby them when I am around and I do! At any rate, G, you point seems to be that some young adults still need their parents. I strongly disagree that this is a viable solution since all of us die before our kids. We need to help our kids seek as much independence as we can, for their sakes as well as ours. I can not see your posts anymore so you can answer, but understand, I am not going to read it. I am just venting and hopefully this will be the last time I will feel like I have to vent. I wish you luck. [/QUOTE]
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Sonic back in the mental health system...Obsessive Compulsive Disorder (OCD) or something.
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