BusynMember
Well-Known Member
And I'm starting to think he is more normal than the professionals think.
Sonic (as posted on WaterCooler) took our car on a road trip (ok, it was just three miles). The thing is, he has no license and could have been tossed in jail if Hub had called the police. He was about to report a stolen car, but then Sonic drove back into the garage. Sonic is grounded from everything he likes and some things he doesn't like right now, BUT I am shocked that he can drive, even without ever having driven before. When I asked him how he knew how he said, "Watching." When as ked how it felt to drive, he shrugged: "It was easy. Back up, straighten the wheel, drive."
Needless to say, he will get his license and this will help him with his independence, which I'm starting to think he may be able to have. He is definitely on the autism spectrum. There is no doubt there. But he is clearly higher functioning than many people think, including us sometimes. Since he doesn't talk much, we have no idea what goes on in his head. He has trouble explaining, even when we do ask him.
Lately he has also talked about moving out and buying a big dog. He can't move out. He has no way to support himself, and he knows it. And I have legal guardianship of him for now. I wouldn't allow him to move. Also, he has been stealing money from my purse...part of his grounding is due to that. His reason was, "I couldn't wait to buy the game!" Well, we took THAT game and several other ones and sold them at Game Stop and kept the money. He was mortified. Too bad.
He also was very remorseful and cried like a baby and it scared me to hear him in his room talking about how he was horrible and didn't deserve to live. I do not think he was being manipulative. He isn't like that. He just gets more upset than most young adults and doesn't handle it that well, yet he has never tried to hurt himself. Still...as bad as the things he did were, his sobs and self-hatred ripped at my heart. He does not have a mental illness. He is just, like most autistic kids, very sensitive. We need to find a therapist who understands Autism Spectrum Disorders (ASD) adults. A regular therapist doesn't help. He can't talk to them. He won't even look in their directioin...his eye contact can be non-existant when he is tense with somebody.
Our plan for after graduation now is to let him find a job with help from the Department of Workforce Development. I used to think he could only handle part-time work. Now I'm not so sure. Also, if he feels like college, one day, I would allow him to take a course or two...one at a time. At this time in his life, he can't wait to leave school and go to work. We're going to let him do that and see how it goes.
Austic spectrum disorder has me totally baffled. Sonic can do so much more than we ever dreamed he could, yet there are some things he still can not do (especially socially). I am beginning to think he will improve more and more as he ages, but I don't know. Living in limbo is hard. Any advice on how to do that?
Before anyone suggests it, Sonic is not on drugs...he does not have wild friends. At home, he is happy to be alone all day so we send him to sports activities. He goes to Special Olympics. Although his IQ is not in the MR range, he usually tests around 75, so he can go and he feels like he fits in. He is, however, always one of the highest functioning people there. He would not be able to play sports in a regular group of young adults. He wouldn't do it.
I am more than baffled by this beautiful boy that we adopted at age two who truly has such a big heart. I do not know what the future holds for him and it is so hard to plan.
Since I know that so many of you have even bigger problems, I was almost afraid to post this here, but did not know where to post it, if not here. He is eighteen. He is graduating. He is a difficult child who has many issues, even if they are different than most of the young adults here. Do you feel it is appropriate to post about him here?
Any thoughts from anyone who may know how hard this is? I know it probably doesn't sound so hard, but it is hard. We are older parents...58 (me) and 56 (hub). We can not live forever to take care of him. Know what I mean??
Sonic (as posted on WaterCooler) took our car on a road trip (ok, it was just three miles). The thing is, he has no license and could have been tossed in jail if Hub had called the police. He was about to report a stolen car, but then Sonic drove back into the garage. Sonic is grounded from everything he likes and some things he doesn't like right now, BUT I am shocked that he can drive, even without ever having driven before. When I asked him how he knew how he said, "Watching." When as ked how it felt to drive, he shrugged: "It was easy. Back up, straighten the wheel, drive."
Needless to say, he will get his license and this will help him with his independence, which I'm starting to think he may be able to have. He is definitely on the autism spectrum. There is no doubt there. But he is clearly higher functioning than many people think, including us sometimes. Since he doesn't talk much, we have no idea what goes on in his head. He has trouble explaining, even when we do ask him.
Lately he has also talked about moving out and buying a big dog. He can't move out. He has no way to support himself, and he knows it. And I have legal guardianship of him for now. I wouldn't allow him to move. Also, he has been stealing money from my purse...part of his grounding is due to that. His reason was, "I couldn't wait to buy the game!" Well, we took THAT game and several other ones and sold them at Game Stop and kept the money. He was mortified. Too bad.
He also was very remorseful and cried like a baby and it scared me to hear him in his room talking about how he was horrible and didn't deserve to live. I do not think he was being manipulative. He isn't like that. He just gets more upset than most young adults and doesn't handle it that well, yet he has never tried to hurt himself. Still...as bad as the things he did were, his sobs and self-hatred ripped at my heart. He does not have a mental illness. He is just, like most autistic kids, very sensitive. We need to find a therapist who understands Autism Spectrum Disorders (ASD) adults. A regular therapist doesn't help. He can't talk to them. He won't even look in their directioin...his eye contact can be non-existant when he is tense with somebody.
Our plan for after graduation now is to let him find a job with help from the Department of Workforce Development. I used to think he could only handle part-time work. Now I'm not so sure. Also, if he feels like college, one day, I would allow him to take a course or two...one at a time. At this time in his life, he can't wait to leave school and go to work. We're going to let him do that and see how it goes.
Austic spectrum disorder has me totally baffled. Sonic can do so much more than we ever dreamed he could, yet there are some things he still can not do (especially socially). I am beginning to think he will improve more and more as he ages, but I don't know. Living in limbo is hard. Any advice on how to do that?
Before anyone suggests it, Sonic is not on drugs...he does not have wild friends. At home, he is happy to be alone all day so we send him to sports activities. He goes to Special Olympics. Although his IQ is not in the MR range, he usually tests around 75, so he can go and he feels like he fits in. He is, however, always one of the highest functioning people there. He would not be able to play sports in a regular group of young adults. He wouldn't do it.
I am more than baffled by this beautiful boy that we adopted at age two who truly has such a big heart. I do not know what the future holds for him and it is so hard to plan.
Since I know that so many of you have even bigger problems, I was almost afraid to post this here, but did not know where to post it, if not here. He is eighteen. He is graduating. He is a difficult child who has many issues, even if they are different than most of the young adults here. Do you feel it is appropriate to post about him here?
Any thoughts from anyone who may know how hard this is? I know it probably doesn't sound so hard, but it is hard. We are older parents...58 (me) and 56 (hub). We can not live forever to take care of him. Know what I mean??