Son's antics hit the news....

Discussion in 'Parent Emeritus' started by WhymeMom?, Jun 9, 2007.

  1. WhymeMom?

    WhymeMom? No real answers to life..

    Well, after nothing appearing in the paper for a week, I thought maybe difficult child only had a misdemeanor charge. Our name is pretty uncommon, so when our name is in the paper you can pretty much be sure its our family. The reporter must have taken pity on us since they waited until the weekend to print the story. The article didn't mention alcohol involvement, but I'm pretty sure he had to be drinking to do this. If I was just reading the article I would have thought this guy was mentally imbalanced. His acts scream "mental illness". I just thank my lucky stars no one else was involved or hurt. He in essence committed burglary, when no one was at businesses, then was caught right outside the place. Since this is a third strike he will be imprisoned for quite some time. We haven't talked to him since it happened. I think our phone may be blocked at this point, but I'm not sure what I would say anyway...

    We so urged him to get help when he got out, but said he didn't want to go thru the hoops of public mental health.... We knew he wouldn't stick to private counseling and weren't inclined to pay for it. Guess my biggest fear now is he will go in with violent felons.... Too bad he didn't get the help he needed, I'm just kind of numb right now..... Know it wasn't my fault, but just can't help but feel awful....

    :crying:
     
  2. SunnyFlorida

    SunnyFlorida Active Member

    I'm so sorry for your sadness. It is so very frustrating when we try and try and difficult child's just sabbatoge themselves. They are truly their own worst enemy.

    Try and take care of yourselves at this point. The grieving and hurt, I'm sure, is so intense right now.

    Sending you some gentle hugs and warm cyber support.
     
  3. judi

    judi Active Member

    I am so very sorry! I don't even know what to say. You did the best anyone could do. I'm sorry he chose not to take you up on all the offers to help him.
     
  4. rejectedmom

    rejectedmom New Member

    WMM, I am so sorry for your pain. -RM
     
  5. WhymeMom?

    WhymeMom? No real answers to life..

    Don't know what his criminal activities will bring, but imagine he could easily get a ten year sentence. I think he will be totally hardened if he spends that time incarcerated... And I don't think he will be getting any help, mental health wise...

    The only saving graces...he won't be drinking, he won't be smoking, he may have the opportunity to get an education, he will be eating and have a place to sleep.

    I really don't think I can bring myself to go to prison for a visit.
     
  6. DDD

    DDD Well-Known Member

    How I wish there was a healing cyber hug I could send to you. You
    are living the nightmare that so many of us have. I am sincerely
    sorry. You have evidently been able to find the only positive aspects to think of....it seems to come with time. Hugs. DDD
     
  7. Suz

    Suz (the future) MRS. GERE

    WMM, he made such a stupid decision and it will affect the rest of his life in one way or another. When Rob got in so much trouble and was sent away my emotions were all messed up- sadness, rage, embarrassment, and sometimes I was so tied up I felt nothing at all. I'm so sorry. This must be an awful time for you.

    Hugs,
    Suz
     
  8. DammitJanet

    DammitJanet Well-Known Member Staff Member

    WMM...so very sorry. This just isnt what we want for them. I hope you can manage to protect your heart through this. It hurts.
     
  9. Sunlight

    Sunlight Active Member

    you are right, not your fault your choice how much you want to be involved. hoping they reduce his sentence. they usually plea bargain.

    ant was never injured in jail by anyone. he was lonely, sad, hungry and tired of the noise and isolation.

    I hate when they are in trouble and also hate jail. like we are being punished ourselves! grrr

    I am ofering a hug and a listening ear. ant was in jail most of age 18 to 23. he has been out 9 months. the longest stretch ever. ant will be 24 on friday. I wrote him a long letter about when I was 24 and how I havent forgotten my life then. (a sad marriage to an abusive man, a son who died two yrs prior after 3 yrs of trying to save his life from heart disease, wanting to die, thinking lie had nothing to offer me) I also wrote ant about the day of his birth, the joy, the hopes, the dreams for him and how much he was wanted.

    he went to church today with me and boyfriend and his son today...first time in a long time. I had choking back of tears thinking this would have never happened last year.

    each day can bring hope. perhaps your son is now at a point wherein God intervenes, put things and lessons and people in your son's life. hang in there, He is still in control even when it looks impossibly scarey.
     
  10. Fran

    Fran Former Site Owner

    I'm so sorry for you and your difficult child. I hope 10yrs is not the sentence. Even though he made the bad choices, jail is not the place anyone wants to see a kid,especially one that isn't able to be street smart or defend themselves.
    You did what you could but I can imagine how scared and worried you are. Cyber hugs from me.
     
  11. witzend

    witzend Well-Known Member

    I'm so sorry. I will keep a good thought for all of you.
     
  12. Hound dog

    Hound dog Nana's are Beautiful

    I'm so sorry. I know this is really hurting your Mommy heart.

    Sending many gentle (((hugs)))
     
  13. hearthope

    hearthope New Member

    Sorry his choices have put him where he is.

    You have done all you can for him. I'm with Janet, hopefully others will be put around him that will have a positive influence.

    If nothing else has worked in the past, maybe this will be the wake-up call he needs to get on the right track.

    Sending hugs, I know this is very hard for you. Remember we are all here to help you make it thru,


    HH
     
  14. Sunlight

    Sunlight Active Member

    wanted to say too how mortified I felt the first few times ant had his name in the paper for his crimes. ugh! I could have buried my head under the covers for a month and not come out.

    luckily no one threw it in my face. I saved those articles and put them in ant's room for him as a reminder.
     
  15. dlgallant

    dlgallant New Member

    ((((hugs))))

    Mine has her arraignment tomorrow. Didn't make the papers, but people still know, especially since at times she's rather proud of it. It's a shame that in order to be forced into a mental health facility you have to be delusional or in imminent danger of hurting yourself or others. Sometimes jail is the only answer, but I wish the system would put forth some effort in providing help rather than simply locking them away.
     
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