Ever since my son has been diagnosed with Asperger's and ADHD his dad has shot us down every time we attempt to explain it to him. My son struggles greatly with his communication skills. Several of his teachers have suggested autism in the past and I used to brush it off as no big deal. Then as my son became older and his behavior became more odd, I finally accepted the fact that he was marching to the beat of a different drummer. He has been diagnosed as autisic by a very competent and thourough psychiatrist. The autisic questionaire that was filled out by both me and his 5th grade teacher scored him high on the autistic rating scale. His school psychiatric also says he has it. Why is his dad fighting it so much? My daughter says that anytime she brings up the word autism and my son in the same sentence, her dad quickly shoots out the response, "Your brother doesn't have autism or adhd. He's my only normal child. I at least have to have one normal kid, don't I?" This hurts difficult child 1 immensely when he says this to her. She interprets it as her being the "not normal one." She is always sticking up for her brother when he struggles to communicate. My son still has a very hard time communicating with adults, even relatives that he knows very well and he is close with. He cannot maintain conversation and he does not give eye contact. He is affectionate with me and loves to give me hugs and kisses, but he has a very hard time bringing himself to show any affection to anybody else. Whereas my daughter will give hugs freely to relatives, my son has to be prompted to do so. When he does give a hug, he is very stiff and awkward. You can tell it really bothers him to have to do it. His dad is not understanding at all. He says my son is just a little shy and has to be forced to come out of his shell. This past weekend when my kids were over there my ex told my daughter that My mom and I have "put ideas in the psychiatrist's head" and convinced him that difficult child 2 has autism. He thinks we have talked him into diagnosing my son as autistic. I am really upset at my ex for claiming I put ideas in a very well respected and competent neuropsychologist's head. The last thing I want is to have an autistic son. I fought the diagnosis at first just like he did. Finally I have come to accept it. So why can't he? My mom heard about what he said to difficult child 1 and she emailed him to confront him about it. Once again, she overstepped her boundaries and contacted him without my permission, but that is a whole other story for another time. Anyway, she explained to him that difficult child 1 has high functioning autism and that he has been diagnosed by several different sources. His response? (She forwarded it to me) Was that he was not autistic but just shy. When will he ever get it? He refuses to go to IEPs or any doctor appointments. I have given him the phone number to his former teacher so she could explain some of his behaviors, but he did not want to call her. He has never spoken to a teacher, psychiatrist, or therapist for his issues and he has no desire to do so. How do I get him to laly off difficult child and stop trying to make him become something he's not?