Discussion in 'General Parenting' started by klmno, May 14, 2011.

  1. klmno

    klmno Active Member

    I get home from this trip to find a nice letter from difficult child (really- not being sarcastic) but it included that there had been a riot at the facility and all the boys had been punished for it, including him, although some of them, including him, had not been part of the riot. Then he says the ones who were punished but hadn't been part of the riot were mad over it and retaliated. He said he flooded his room several days in a row and was now facing a charge for it. This isn't a street charge, just punishment like losing privileges in there for a while.

    Then I check phone messages and have one from him saying he has an additional lock down for 6 more days and to contact him. That seemed strange since he is only allowed very limited phone calls to me and I can't call to speak to him. Then I found a card with a new POs name on it in the door and a phone message from this "new" PO. I called and he said I needed to come to his office to talk about difficult child's case next week. That seemed weird because 1) why would his PO change now? unless it's due to me going off on the other one several times because he kept saying that he'd look into a group home or transitional place for difficult child then the nnext call would act like we'd never had any conversation before and it would always be the same ole thing- saying the same things as evvery other PO difficult child has ever had has said. I got annoyed- this is stupid- and I'd go off at him until he'd say he'd look into group home. 30 days later, another call, another conversation just like the last. 2) this last PO which is the first we had in this town I moved to 6 mos ago said that here, the PO comes to the parent's house- which I really begrudged while difficult child isn't even living here- but this one I spoke to yesterday said we would meet at his office.

    Then today, I receive a letter from the Department of Juvenile Justice facility where difficult child is saying he was facing a major institutional charge there (not the same as a street or criminal charge) because he had thrown a liquid on 2 staff members last week. Geez. I looked up the guidelines and for a "major" it doesn't look like they can extend his length of incarceration, however, for the offense, it actually looks like that should have been listed as an assualt on staff which would make it a "serious" and they could extend his stay fro that.

    At the bottom of the letter, it cc'd "Transfer; Master file". I wonder if that means they are thinking about sending him to a different facility now. (Transferring him). The letter said I needed to contact his "behavior counselor" who is the personin control of him at Department of Juvenile Justice, asap with "new contact info". WTH is going on??

    And honestly, if they can't control him while he's in Department of Juvenile Justice, why on earth are they still holding me responsible for his actions? I sure as heck can't control him.

    *sigh* I'm going to the store.
  2. DDD

    DDD Well-Known Member

    I know you will but make sure you keep all correspondence in chronological order. Opt to either go visit PO for his update or to contact the person at Department of Juvenile Justice first. I would not try to contact both on an overlap basis because ... as you know...the left hand doesn't usually know or care what the right hand is doing. Seems like the local would be the best place to start and having any meetings in the office instead of having unexpected PO calls at your home is progress.

    Sorting through all the garbage should be a little bit easier now that you aren't trapped in your current job placement. I'm truly sorry, however, that between the system and difficult child it's hard to see a light at the end of the tunnell Hugs. DDD
  3. donna723

    donna723 Well-Known Member

    OK, to me it sounds like he's racked up some really serious disciplinary charges where he is now and they're going to transfer him to a more secure facility in their system. That might not be but that's what it sounds like.

    And honestly, that story in the beginning about the ones who didn't participate retalliating against the ones that did participate - that doesn't sound plausible at all! It doesn't usually happen like that at all. The non-troublemakers make sure they stay as far away from the situation as they possibly can, they don't do things that will get themselves in trouble.

    Flooding a cell is considered to be a VERY serious offense in a correctional setting, no little minor thing. The way they do it (at least in the "big boy prisons") is to stuff something down into the toilet to stop it up and then flush and flush and flush until everything is flooded and the water is running out of the cell everywhere. And since the water comes from a toilet, every single thing it touches is then considered to be a "bio-hazard" and must be replaced - bedding, clothing, shoes, personal items, toiletries, everything! It gets extremely expensive! The water gets into the wiring and can ruin furniture and flooring. Then the institution has to pay maintenance people to try to fix it all, probably on overtime. It's a very serious thing.

    And the "liquid" usually thrown on staff members is urine - old inmate trick from way back! It's a classic. If they didn't file charges on him for assault in outside court he is very, very lucky. For many years the institution I worked in has filed criminal assault charges on inmates who threw urine on staff members because it is such an extreme health hazard and a very clear intent to cause harm to those who have it thrown in their faces!
  4. exhausted

    exhausted Active Member

    Are you documenting all these conversations? There is no way they can justify sending him home after this stuff. Find the program you want him shipped to and keep insisting to the PO and the Judge. Usually judge can only order level of care but you need the PO or (Do you have a juvenile justice worker? Maybe that is Utah's equivalent to your behavior person?) worker to bat for you. The squeeky wheel thing worked for me. Can't say anyone likes me much, but my daughter is where her needs are being met. Also handed them a card from a lawyer we use. We really can't afford much, so its mostly consult. However, It has made a difference.Hang in there. Im praying it goes well with a new PO. Hope shopping was calming! Hugs
  5. klmno

    klmno Active Member

    Ok, I'm back from the store and since I have a few responses already, I'll be brief in trying to respond to each one a little. So if I "sound" too brief, it's just because I'm trying to touch a little on each one.

    Yes, I'm keeping all correspondence- I even kept all correspondence from last place we lived and this has been going on 5-6 years now. DDD,. I agree- but I am going to get a light at the end of my tunnel no matter what difficult child and the juvenile courts decide to do at this point. Believe it or not, I had to remind the first PO "we" had in this town wwhat difficult child's committing offenses were (for first and second commitment) EVERY time I talked to him.

    Donna, I think you are right except one thing that is different in this state's Department of Juvenile Justice facilities, at least, is that they will lock an entire unit down if several get out of control- either in the unit or at school. They don't punish as severely for flooding but I have a feeling since difficult child busted that sprinkler head a couple of mos ago and has flooded before, he's pushed his limits too ffar this time.

    Utah- the fear (and real threat) in the past was difficult child being turned over to dss- long story I won't go into but a horrible thing to worry about in our specific case- but at his age now and given his committing offenses, I think I can avoid an ultimatum in court by a judge saying "either I take difficult child home on parole or he goes to dss or I get found in contempt". At least I'll be pushing down the road like this won't happen until I'm sure otherwise- and have fought it in court.

    And then there is difficult child- who probably is resolved to keep himself incarcerated until he's 18yo (about 18 mos from now) unless he can come back and live with me on his terms- which isn't going to happen. I told last 2 POs that if I have to go to court and explain to the judge why, I will. I know this sounds defiant but really, in this state the POs are taught to be enabling idiots. If a kid held a knife to them, what would they do? Then why do they expect a parent whose had this happen to let a PO treat them like the parent is the one on parole? And how can theypossibly be so blind not to see why the kid doesn't behave while on parole?

    We only have about 3 group homes left in the state which are accessible for kids coming out of Department of Juvenile Justice and from what I've heard (albeit it was by Department of Juvenile Justice staff and POs) these are full of the absolute worst kids who can be released and not remain incarcerated due to extremely violent charges. No one wants difficult child in that but I also heard from last PO that Department of Juvenile Justice could have sent difficult child to the same Residential Treatment Center (RTC) I had been trying to get him in. That PO said he would look into it for a possible transitional place. That was the last time we talked- then this PO all of a sudden comes on board. And by the way- half the POs difficult child has ever had have been brand new. They just repeat what they are taught by the state.