soooo tired (long sorry)

Discussion in 'General Parenting' started by panda, May 15, 2007.

  1. panda

    panda New Member

    it has been awhile since i posted anything. I have had such a hard time this last month with difficult child 1 and difficult child 2. and to make things so much better, easy child has had a bad bout with his asthma and allergies. difficult child 1 psychiatrist started him on focalin for his adhd. well two weeks into it, he had a bad reaction, very bad meltdown, at the same time as i was babysitting. i had two 3 year olds and a one year old in the house with us. somehow we made it through and by that evening the medicine had worn off and he was great for grandma while i was at work. then today we went to the psychiatrist again. husband came with us for the first time and actually saw how difficult it is for me to get difficult child 1 out the door to see this doctor. while difficult child 1 is there, he is responsive, talks with the doctor and is in a pretty good mood. but afterwards he always has a major meltdown. can't figure out why, unless he is mad because of having to take medications. tonight was really bad, he pretty much screamed at me all night long. finally it ended when i went in his room and told him that if he didn't stop and be nice to me, i was going to throw him over my shoulder and run down the street naked.(that would be pretty scary, lol) but it made him laugh and he snapped out of it. i just get so tired, i feel like i have to be a perfect parent all the time and can never lose my cool, or get frustrated. then there is difficult child 2, i'm worried about him because his self-esteem is falling again, last time this happened he said he wanted to kill himself, and i found him with scissors in his room and he cut his blanket all up. the good news is that i am taking him to the same p-doctor as difficult child 1 next month, which i believe is a lot more detailed and will help him more effectivily than the doctor he is currently with. i think i need a break, i seriously considered the thought of having difficult child 1 or difficult child 2 stay with my mom for a little while so that i can get some r and r. but i don't know, it makes me feel bad that i want one of the boys to leave, even for a short time. sorry for this being so long, i just needed to write and get everything off my chest, husband is sick, so i know he is too tired to hear me right now. sometimes i feel so alone. i do have a good friend who has a son who is autistic, and another son who is very defiant, but, i don't know, she can't always be there to pick me up. sorry again
  2. Hound dog

    Hound dog Nana's are Beautiful


    There is no reason for you to feel sorry. Most of us have felt the way you're feeling right now. Raising a difficult child is exhausting mentally, physically, and emotionally.

    You have to remember that it is just as important to take care of YOU as it is the difficult children. If you're not up to snuff things just seem to start falling apart.

    If your Mom is willing to take difficult child for a couple of days, or even an afternoon, I'd jump at the chance. There is no shame in needing a break. When my kids were young I'd have given my right arm for an occasional break. But all of my family live 2 states away. If I was lucky my Mom would take them 2 weeks during the summer. (and I treasured every moment)

    You are human, you're a parent, and no one expects you to be a saint. (if they do then they haven't a clue about difficult children)

    I hope husband feels better soon.

  3. totoro

    totoro Mom? What's a GFG?

    I honestly think all of us here can empathize with you. I was ready to hang it up today...yesterday... LOL
    This is hard. When I first joined I was told to take a deep breath, and that this is a marathon not a sprint... it is so true. You need to be able to do this for the long haul. Take time when you can. I would love to have a break!!! Haven't had a day off in months...

    Be good to yourself.
    Hang in there!
  4. Crazy-Steph

    Crazy-Steph New Member

    I posted this on another topic, but I think it may help since you and your husband seem like you are on the same page.

    My husband and I are giving each other a complete night off once a week. The "off" parent is only available for hugs and kisses-nothing else. This gives each of us a relaxing night once a week where we can recharge our batteries. The stress level (and the decibel level) of our house was just getting to be too much. We were seeing it starting to affect the easy child's and that's not fair to them.

    Good luck no matter what route you choose!