Sorry for another thread tonight..

Discussion in 'General Parenting' started by klmno, Sep 5, 2008.

  1. klmno

    klmno Active Member

    but I was just wondering if this would bug anyone else- I emailed difficult child's new case manager at school today to respond to her email about an upcoming IEP meeting, a compliment she made about difficult child self-advocating at school, and to ask about football. In my reply, I mentioned The Explosive Child and said it had helped more than anything (I brought this up a couple of times in IEP meetings last year too)- I also asked if she'd seen the book and said I had an extra copy if she'd be willing to look through it. Now, I can't imagine that she'd take this as an insult- I've never met her or worked with her before. She emailed back and addressed my question about the IEP meeting, about difficult child (not) playing football, and about her computer not working right. She thanked me for my info. But she never mentioned the book, much less being willing "to look through it". Am I over-reacting to interpret this as a sign that she's not going to listen to much of my input and she probably thinks she has nothing to gain by looking the book over?

    I've had a gut feeling for the past month or so that this school year is going to do difficult child in- maybe I'm just being paranoid but I don't want to turn it into a self-fulfilling prophecy. I just thought it odd that if she really cared about being a good case manager for him, she would be interested in a book that outlines what the parent says are the most effective techniques.
  2. gcvmom

    gcvmom Here we go again!

    Could be she doesn't want to read it. Could be it was an oversight on her part. Maybe she's got a lot on her mind (like the computer not working, the start of the school year, her other students she's responsible for...). It think it's really hard to read into email when you haven't met the person or know them very well. Doesn't mean you can't keep advocating or offering information resources for them to utilize.

    In my IEP meeting today, I brought a printout from CABF that is written expressly for educators. Everyone got a copy. I simply said it would help explain some of difficult child's issues, in case they weren't familiar with his disorder. I don't know if they'll read it -- but the reason I mention it is that sometimes people are more willing to peruse a couple of pages in a handout than they would be to crack open a book. Does that make sense?
  3. klmno

    klmno Active Member

    Yes- maybe I can try a differnet approach. Thanks!!

    by the way, I used a handout from CABF for educating a BiPolar (BP) child that was brought to my attention by someone here. I gave it to a couple of people on the IEP team last year and they did seem excited to get it- although I'm not sure anyone at the school actually looked at it. Anyway- if it's the same one you used, I thought it had fabulous info in it and I got a lot out of it myself for use at home.

    Thanks, again!!
  4. smallworld

    smallworld Moderator

    Personal opinion? I think you're reading too much into the situation. Given the number of sped kids this case manager must oversee, I suspect she doesn't have a whole lot of time to read The Explosive Child. However, if you had a short article giving a synopsis of TEC principles, she might be willing to read that.
  5. BestICan

    BestICan This community rocks.

    I'll chime in with one more suggestion - highlight just a few key sentences in the printed article that you hand her. This will maximize your chances of getting your main points across.
  6. Wiped Out

    Wiped Out Well-Known Member Staff Member

    I agree you may be reading too much into it. I like Jen's idea of highlighting the key points.
  7. everywoman

    everywoman Active Member

    I get a lot of e-mails at school about students. Often up to 100 a day. I hate to say this, but often I read bits and pieces, and I can miss stuff. It could be that she just didn't read the whole e-mail.
  8. witzend

    witzend Well-Known Member

    Maybe she's just busy (beginning of the school year) and is comfortable with her knowledge, and doesn't have time to commit either way right now. You've never met her before, so she may be concerned that anything other than "Yes, I love that book!" or "Please send me the book" is a sign of rejection.

    I think you should give her a chance, and perhaps revisit the idea later if you feel comfortable with it. But, I wouldn't write her off for this right now. It's too early, and too early in the school year.
  9. SomewhereOutThere

    SomewhereOutThere Well-Known Member

    I printed out handouts to teach my son's Special Education teacher about Pervasive Developmental Disorder (PDD)-not otherwise specified when she first got my son. Although she was GREAT at teaching my son (I mean in every single way she "got" him) she didn't understand what Pervasive Developmental Disorder (PDD)-not otherwise specified was. The shorter handouts helped her and she did read it. She learned a lot from my son after she knew what his differences were. Maybe printing out a few things about The Explosive Child methods would help her. Or you can have a sit down meeting together--I do that a lot.
  10. Marguerite

    Marguerite Active Member

    I found that writing my own summary/review of "Explosive Child" helped ME lock the information in my head. I also didn't give teachers, friends, family etc much chance to say they didn't want to read it - my view was, they had all expressed problems handling him, we had found something that helped us, if they wanted to keep working with my child ten they would need to get on board.

    But then, I'm a pushy broad.

    I agree with highlighting salient points. Also, KISS - and keep it to one page or less, it's less likely to put them off reading it.

  11. Kjs

    Kjs Guest

    My experience with emails is that I tend to ask a lot of questions, or address a lot of concerns. the result in the reply is only one question is answered. Sometimes I write back with the others, still only one question addressed. I often wondered if it was me, or if this happens to everyone.

    School is so tough. I hope things work out.
  12. klmno

    klmno Active Member

    You ladies are right- as usual. :D I will copy a page or two from the book and keep it with the copy of the handout from CABF that I took last year. I will highlight main points that pertain to difficult child and present it as "this summarizes what to look for" and "this is what works". It's just that without a therapist there backing me up (see other thread) or something in writing, they tend to blow off anything I say because it looks like I'm just being a biased mom and haven't presented any clinically-backed method or evidence for anything.
  13. OpenWindow

    OpenWindow Active Member

    I think the others are right too.

    I'm going through a similar thing right now too with difficult child's counselor (their program is school-based). I thought it was me too - thought I had said something wrong or asked too many questions.