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Sorry I have been lurking
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<blockquote data-quote="BusynMember" data-source="post: 632418" data-attributes="member: 1550"><p>It's all about letting other people do what they do and think what they think. Your husband is 63? I'm 60. By your husband's age he should well know he has NO CONTROL over who his ex talks to, who his siblings and other relatives talk to, what they think, how they believe and hopefully he will work hard on letting go of caring what they think. That is not part of your stepson, who is fast approaching middle age. The fear of family is on your husband and should not, in my opinion, have anything to do with how he deals with your marriage or his wayward son. If you have influence at all, I'd urge him to not talk to his family too much or tell them too much or to just not allow them to talk to him about his son as it is not their family or business. Hey, if they want to send his son money or offer him a home, they are free to do it and you can't stop them nor can husband. But they do what they must do, you do what you must do, and hub does wh at he must do and hopefully we learn and change, yes, even at 63. I am still evolving. At 60. His ex has a right to speak to whomever is willing to speak to her and your husband has the same right to pull out of the fray and not listen. I hope he learns to detach. There are other things to do in your golden years than to ruminate over what your nosey family thinks of you.</p><p></p><p>I wish you luck. Keep us posted <img src="data:image/gif;base64,R0lGODlhAQABAIAAAAAAAP///yH5BAEAAAAALAAAAAABAAEAAAIBRAA7" class="smilie smilie--sprite smilie--sprite1" alt=":)" title="Smile :)" loading="lazy" data-shortname=":)" /></p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="BusynMember, post: 632418, member: 1550"] It's all about letting other people do what they do and think what they think. Your husband is 63? I'm 60. By your husband's age he should well know he has NO CONTROL over who his ex talks to, who his siblings and other relatives talk to, what they think, how they believe and hopefully he will work hard on letting go of caring what they think. That is not part of your stepson, who is fast approaching middle age. The fear of family is on your husband and should not, in my opinion, have anything to do with how he deals with your marriage or his wayward son. If you have influence at all, I'd urge him to not talk to his family too much or tell them too much or to just not allow them to talk to him about his son as it is not their family or business. Hey, if they want to send his son money or offer him a home, they are free to do it and you can't stop them nor can husband. But they do what they must do, you do what you must do, and hub does wh at he must do and hopefully we learn and change, yes, even at 63. I am still evolving. At 60. His ex has a right to speak to whomever is willing to speak to her and your husband has the same right to pull out of the fray and not listen. I hope he learns to detach. There are other things to do in your golden years than to ruminate over what your nosey family thinks of you. I wish you luck. Keep us posted :) [/QUOTE]
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