sort of irritated

Discussion in 'General Parenting' started by oceans, Mar 22, 2007.

  1. oceans

    oceans New Member

    I am somewhat irritated that both the psychiatrist and therapist do not believe that the medication has actually been helping difficult child. They think it is only the structure of the psychiatric hospital that did it and nothing else. Well- he is home and so far is still doing just as well. He got 100% on his incentive sheet at school yesterday. He is able to talk and reason with me. When I got home from work he was sitting there doing his homework!

    When the Lamictal was added...difficult child eventually starting coming out of his depression. He said that he thought the medications were working and that he felt lighter and really different. He then told everyone about his racing thoughts and problems he felt relating to people. After the addition of the Zyprexa his racing thought went away and he was able to read and concentrate for the first time that I can remember!

    In the past I was upset because all anyone would give him were stimulants and anti depressants and those never worked...even made things worse. No one listened to me then. Now that he is on Lamictal and Zyprexa and he is doing so much better, they are still not listening.

    We are going to wait awhile and make no medication adjustments to see if he will go backwards now that the structure of the psychiatric hospital is gone. Has not happened yet. upsets me because we are almost due for a Lamictal dosage increase and I am afraid that if we do not keep increasing it on schedule that he might eventually have mood instability because of that and not because the structure has changed.

    Why won't psychiatrists or therapist believe the parents? Are there some out there who do? Maybe I should ask if the Lamictal can be increased as previously planned, and we can wait on the other medications to see what happens. I want to keep this kid in the stable place he is right now.

    I wish we could be on the same page...keep him stable. If it is not the Lamictal that is helping, then he will become unstable whether we increase the dose or not. If it is the Lamictal then he has more of a chance at maintaining this stability.

  2. Lothlorien

    Lothlorien Active Member Staff Member

    keep pushing. I hope he continues to do well.
  3. rejectedmom

    rejectedmom New Member

    Yes i would push to continue the course of treatment. Jut keep telling them how well you think difficult child is doing and that you do not want to experiment by taking him off the Lamicil at this time. -RM
  4. DammitJanet

    DammitJanet Well-Known Member Staff Member

    I tend to agree with you wholeheartedly. Structure can only do so much. His ability think clearly and tell you about it is not do to structure. Yes, the fact that there may have been less chaos around him (though I may doubt that considering there were other kids there and none in your home) could have played a part but I wouldnt say that the effects you are seeing is all due to that.

    medications have to be playing a part here.

    Your son is old enough to have some say in this. You as his parent also have a say. Speak up and tell them you want to titrate the lamictal and keep the zyprexa and then see what happens. Hopefully you can decrease the other ADs and have a stable young man.
  5. timer lady

    timer lady Queen of Hearts

    Why fix what isn't broken? That is what I ask psychiatrist whenever he brings up a potential medication change.

    A structured setting may be the beginning of stability with medications helping the process along.

    However, medications, in my humble opinion, play a big role in many of our difficult children.

    While our wish would be for our children not to need these medications, that is not the reality.

    Janet, I would never ever give kt or wm a choice in medications. Until the law states that they must take responsibility for their own choices, if medications are called for, medications will be taken. And I'm speaking just for my tweedles. Given the emotional levels kt & wm are operating at, I feel that psychiatrist & therapist will back me up on this.
  6. DammitJanet

    DammitJanet Well-Known Member Staff Member

    Oh I agree with you your kids ages. But oceans son is older...I think??? Isnt he closer to being 16 or 17? At least I thought he was...maybe I am thinking of someone else and just got it wrong in my head which is entirely possible when I was posting.

    I was saying that a mid to late teen can advocate for themselves with a parents help. Especially if that would help in this case.
  7. Janna

    Janna New Member

    Here in PA, my difficult child 2 is allowed to make his own choice. I cannot make him take any medications. At 15, I had to have HIM sign a consent for ME to get information from the psychiatrist.

    It's ridiculous.

    Oceans, I'm so glad difficult child is doing so much better. I feel such a relief for you, my friend. Keep pushing.

  8. dreamer

    dreamer New Member

    Old thinking was that parents were the reason kids were "difficult" Some docs have not yet broken out of that mindset. It is sad.
    Altho then there ARE parents who really do not parent well....their intentions are good, but maybe their own background held ineefective parenting or maybe they have unrealistic expectations of what having a child is or what "normal" child behavior looks like or the wide range of behavior that is still considered within normal limits. . Docs see a lot of those parents, too. Sometimes it is parents who are busy with their own issues and do not have enough leftover from dealing with their own issues, sometimes it is parents who had never been around children, sometimes it is parents who had poor parent role models. So- there are a lot of reasons why some docs just do not listen.
    (and sometimes some docs just choose to be jerks, just becuz they got a medical degree does not mean they are perfect or wonderful themself)

    As for children and medications? Part of the reason children are given some say so about their treatment is that there are some people out there who would drug their kids thru a doctor into oblivion, just becuz it makes their life easier. There are some people who would deny a child medications and treatment due to their own issues. Some people will force a child to withstand severe adverse side effects to gain a small degree of control over their child. ALso if a child is going to become a productive independant adult member of society, they need to learn to take ownership of their treatment. AND if a child has NO say so at all about it- some kids would not buy into treatment. - and at age 18 might then non comply simply in rebellion.

    It is easy for a person to shrug off someone elses headache or stomach upset or fuzzy thinking and say "deal with it" becuz we seek the desired effect of a medication. Yet when that headache or stomach upset or fuzzy thinking belongs to us, very often we cannot tolerate it. Giving a child a say so in treatment helps the child feel his well being really is being cared for, and it also gives a child an opportunity to communicate with a doctor how he feels inside. Each person should have the right to have some degree of say so in their own level of comfort. And people are far more apt to comply if they are part of the decision making concerning their treatment.

    Oceans, if your son is happy with his treatment, encourage him to speak up and say so. If he is not happy, encourage the same. Whether or not the doctor listens to you is one thing, but does the doctor listen to the patient? While it maybe us parents paying the bill for now, it is about the patient and their bodies and how they feel. and how they function. The doctor might be far more inclined to listen if your son speaks up.
  9. dreamer

    dreamer New Member

    Janna, I totally agree with you and to my horror, here in IL, I think it was age 13. I was like OMG you have GOT to be kidding! here she is 13, mentally ill, making poor choices...and I am supposed to sit here and let you wait for HER permission? WOrse, SHE wanted me in psychiatrists office with her, but we had one psychiatrist who said no, at 13 the parent does NOT come into appointment with child. Well, my oldest difficult child bless her lil heart was steadfast and refused to go without me! LOL......well, that psychiatrist refused to accept that------------oh well. LOL.
    Sadly, there are reasons these laws came into being. I hate it, and it stinks..but.....there are some people out there-----who spoil things for everyone else.

    SOmething else that goes with that was that I was also told if my difficult child did NOT give permission for treatment, I could be subjected to a CPS visit for not getting her medical treatment. I was like HUH? give me a break- you cannot treat her without HER permission, but you can hold ME responsible? Yikes. crazy.
  10. oceans

    oceans New Member


    Yes, difficult child is very happy with the way he is able to function right now. He is excited about not having his head full of racing thoughts and to be able to read and communicate again. He enjoys the feeling of not being depressed and irritable. He would be very upset if something was done to take this away from him. I will tell him to be open and honest to the psychiatrist about the changes he has felt are attributed to the medication he is on right now. I will also stand up for him. My difficult child is 15, but I don't know of any laws here that make him be the decision maker on treatment. He is usually always there and involved anyway...
  11. dreamer

    dreamer New Member

    wishing you luck. If the darned docs won't listen to you, maybe they WILL listen to him. :)
  12. DammitJanet

    DammitJanet Well-Known Member Staff Member

    I think in NC the laws are very good about kids and medical care. I never had a problem at least. They never gave my son the option of making the decisions on his care...even at 18, I was in on his medical care. That may be highly unusual but we had the same psychiatrist and I always went in with him. My son didnt care.

    Who knows...maybe no one wanted to chance taking me on? LOL.
  13. Wiped Out

    Wiped Out Well-Known Member Staff Member

    Interesting that they feel medications have no play in it. My difficult child did great in the structured environment of the psychiatric hospital than at home but the medications certainly played a large part in helping both in the hospital and at home. I hope they will listen to you and keep with the scheduled increase.
  14. crazymama30

    crazymama30 Active Member

    How frustrating. I hope we outlast our psychiatrist, as he listens very well. I second what the others said about having your son tell them how he feels. This may make a difference.
  15. Marguerite

    Marguerite Active Member

    Oceans, I can sympathise with the frustration of feeling ignored.

    What to do? I think Dreamer (and others) are right. Wait. Don't allow medication changes until it's clear that any influence from the hospital is past. If it was the hospital structure responsible for his improvement then the current honeymoon won't last. If, as you believe, it's the medications, then he should remain stable with no medication changes.

    Basically, ANY experiment needs to only have variables changed one at a time. The hospital is one variable; the medications are another.

    Also, I do agree to encourage difficult child to speak up about his thoughts and feelings on the matter. Even if legally they can ignore him, he needs to feel listened to. He also needs to begin to take some level of responsibility for his own medical care, or at least to get in practice.