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Speaking of rooms/cleaning...
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<blockquote data-quote="Nomad" data-source="post: 305809"><p>All good ideas.</p><p> </p><p>I get behind in my laundry....and I thought about making a deal of sorts with- her.</p><p> </p><p>I will wash/dry her laundry AND pay for someone to clean her place once a month IF she comes to my place and folds...</p><p> </p><p>her laundry <strong>AND mine</strong></p><p> </p><p>every two weeks.</p><p> </p><p>A little complicated...but I suppose we could get it on a schedule of some kind. </p><p> </p><p>She is pretty good at folding.</p><p> </p><p>Her problem is rather complicated and I suppose a neuro psch exam would be appropriate....there are cost issues.</p><p> </p><p>As near as we can figure it...it is a combination problem having to due with some complications involving issues with- her surgery and her bipolar/ADHD diagnosis. There are also laziness issues to be sure.</p><p> </p><p>When she has a friend coming over...she cleans her place perfectly.</p><p> </p><p>Honestly, I do not think there are any good reasons here for extreme filth. Period. I just don't see it. She has a high IQ. Was taught differently...understands better. I do understand that it is difficult for her, it is not going to be the same for her as another person...but I feel that the level of the problem is not appropriate.</p><p> </p><p>Janet/MM....awesome problem solving ideas/solutions.</p><p> </p><p>In time, if difficult child recognizes that cleaning is overhwhelming for her, I do hope that she will set aside money for cleaning help and finding inexpensive help is not a bad idea at all...as well as bartering. I do see that difficult child is creative and that is fine...a good thing. </p><p> </p><p>D/L....I suppose I'm doing my best to help her see that she needs to do her part in all of this...I personally have no guilt in this....I want her to do the very best she can with- what she's got. Sometimes it is hard to shake that out and in my humble opinion it is easy for her to fall back on her weaknesses. I don't discount the fact that it is very hard for her and she will not be able to do like others.But it does not do her any good at all, to play the victim/not do her very best. It has not been easy...it seems you have a similar boat....really hard stuff.</p><p> </p><p>I'm putting in the back of my mind...encourage difficult child to keep her apt. clean as best as she is able...with the understanding that as she is able to earn money...move forward in life...that she will want to make a clean apt. as something more of a priority and if necessary find someone to help her get that accomplished esp. when she is unable to do it for herself.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Nomad, post: 305809"] All good ideas. I get behind in my laundry....and I thought about making a deal of sorts with- her. I will wash/dry her laundry AND pay for someone to clean her place once a month IF she comes to my place and folds... her laundry [B]AND mine[/B] every two weeks. A little complicated...but I suppose we could get it on a schedule of some kind. She is pretty good at folding. Her problem is rather complicated and I suppose a neuro psch exam would be appropriate....there are cost issues. As near as we can figure it...it is a combination problem having to due with some complications involving issues with- her surgery and her bipolar/ADHD diagnosis. There are also laziness issues to be sure. When she has a friend coming over...she cleans her place perfectly. Honestly, I do not think there are any good reasons here for extreme filth. Period. I just don't see it. She has a high IQ. Was taught differently...understands better. I do understand that it is difficult for her, it is not going to be the same for her as another person...but I feel that the level of the problem is not appropriate. Janet/MM....awesome problem solving ideas/solutions. In time, if difficult child recognizes that cleaning is overhwhelming for her, I do hope that she will set aside money for cleaning help and finding inexpensive help is not a bad idea at all...as well as bartering. I do see that difficult child is creative and that is fine...a good thing. D/L....I suppose I'm doing my best to help her see that she needs to do her part in all of this...I personally have no guilt in this....I want her to do the very best she can with- what she's got. Sometimes it is hard to shake that out and in my humble opinion it is easy for her to fall back on her weaknesses. I don't discount the fact that it is very hard for her and she will not be able to do like others.But it does not do her any good at all, to play the victim/not do her very best. It has not been easy...it seems you have a similar boat....really hard stuff. I'm putting in the back of my mind...encourage difficult child to keep her apt. clean as best as she is able...with the understanding that as she is able to earn money...move forward in life...that she will want to make a clean apt. as something more of a priority and if necessary find someone to help her get that accomplished esp. when she is unable to do it for herself. [/QUOTE]
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