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Speaking of rooms/cleaning...
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<blockquote data-quote="Nomad" data-source="post: 306421"><p>Well, I wasn't there when husband spoke with the therapist and we plan on talking about this more the next time we have our family meeting. </p><p> </p><p>From what I can piece together, the thought was that difficult child may not have a good idea on how to clean or she forgets how to clean.</p><p> </p><p>If we were to hire one, for a 1x experience, difficult child would have to help her and the housekeeper would have to be willing to "teach" difficult child some tools of the trade. </p><p> </p><p>This is because of some slight neurological deficits and really bad problems with ADHD that are not being addressed with medication might make it hard for difficult child to organize herself or remember certain things.</p><p> </p><p>We don't want to de motivate her by enabling her, so I'm not in favor of paying for a housekeeper regularly. AND I'm not sure if I really want to do the 1x thing. However, perhaps we need to discuss this some more. There are some issues involving sanitation, and laundry, etc.</p><p> </p><p>We could always say to her "remember when so and so 'taught' you how to clean your place?" This way she would have something to think about. When the place is clean, we could take a photo of it and even put a note on the back of what was done. It could be used as a learning tool...sort of a "jumping off" place and nothing more. </p><p> </p><p>It would be up to her if she uses it or not.</p><p> </p><p>difficult child has some minor deficits and sometimes it is tough call as to how much extra care she needs with reference to these type of things.</p><p> </p><p>None of us are "into" the entitlement thing...and difficult child has felt the sting of tough love many, many times.</p><p> </p><p>difficult child has been making small inroads of progress with this new therapist. In fact, she continues to take baby steps...but more baby steps in recent times than in the past. I think she has been seeing this new therapist for about six weeks...but there have been breaks due to vacations.</p><p> </p><p>She (the therapist) has been using a variety of different type of therapies, combined with once a month family therapy.</p><p> </p><p>Actually, I have been reading about this very topic and studies show that for Bipolar Disorder what seems to have the best results is a combination of therapies (often CBT) combined with Family Focused Therapy and a very strong educational component.</p><p> </p><p>The one time use of a cleaning woman who is willing to "teach" is probably just seen as part of the educational program.</p><p> </p><p>by the way, husband told difficult child Fri. morning that he would stop by her apt. over the weekend at his convenience, so that if she wanted the money she should keep it clean. He told her that normally he would not give her any "heads up," but for this first time, he would help her out a little bit. So apparently, she cleaned her place AND kept it clean the entire weekend, 'cause husband was super busy all weekend and didn't get over there until late Sunday night and the place was very clean! So, this was a small little positive. In the future..we decided that one of us would just stop by at our convenience...no warning at all a few times a month, as the therapist suggested. It might motivate her to do her best to keep it clean all the time...we'll see.</p><p> </p><p>p.s. BIG news...difficult child was finally offered a part time job...starting next month. Fingers crossed, please.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Nomad, post: 306421"] Well, I wasn't there when husband spoke with the therapist and we plan on talking about this more the next time we have our family meeting. From what I can piece together, the thought was that difficult child may not have a good idea on how to clean or she forgets how to clean. If we were to hire one, for a 1x experience, difficult child would have to help her and the housekeeper would have to be willing to "teach" difficult child some tools of the trade. This is because of some slight neurological deficits and really bad problems with ADHD that are not being addressed with medication might make it hard for difficult child to organize herself or remember certain things. We don't want to de motivate her by enabling her, so I'm not in favor of paying for a housekeeper regularly. AND I'm not sure if I really want to do the 1x thing. However, perhaps we need to discuss this some more. There are some issues involving sanitation, and laundry, etc. We could always say to her "remember when so and so 'taught' you how to clean your place?" This way she would have something to think about. When the place is clean, we could take a photo of it and even put a note on the back of what was done. It could be used as a learning tool...sort of a "jumping off" place and nothing more. It would be up to her if she uses it or not. difficult child has some minor deficits and sometimes it is tough call as to how much extra care she needs with reference to these type of things. None of us are "into" the entitlement thing...and difficult child has felt the sting of tough love many, many times. difficult child has been making small inroads of progress with this new therapist. In fact, she continues to take baby steps...but more baby steps in recent times than in the past. I think she has been seeing this new therapist for about six weeks...but there have been breaks due to vacations. She (the therapist) has been using a variety of different type of therapies, combined with once a month family therapy. Actually, I have been reading about this very topic and studies show that for Bipolar Disorder what seems to have the best results is a combination of therapies (often CBT) combined with Family Focused Therapy and a very strong educational component. The one time use of a cleaning woman who is willing to "teach" is probably just seen as part of the educational program. by the way, husband told difficult child Fri. morning that he would stop by her apt. over the weekend at his convenience, so that if she wanted the money she should keep it clean. He told her that normally he would not give her any "heads up," but for this first time, he would help her out a little bit. So apparently, she cleaned her place AND kept it clean the entire weekend, 'cause husband was super busy all weekend and didn't get over there until late Sunday night and the place was very clean! So, this was a small little positive. In the future..we decided that one of us would just stop by at our convenience...no warning at all a few times a month, as the therapist suggested. It might motivate her to do her best to keep it clean all the time...we'll see. p.s. BIG news...difficult child was finally offered a part time job...starting next month. Fingers crossed, please. [/QUOTE]
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