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Speaking of walking like a duck....
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<blockquote data-quote="hearthope" data-source="post: 27798" data-attributes="member: 2389"><p>Oh Barbara, if it was in the cards for him to be an addict, if you kept him with you 24 hrs a day, he still would be an addict.</p><p></p><p>Your son is choosing to use...</p><p>This has NOTHING to do with your parenting.</p><p></p><p>Addicts use every reason they can grasp to explain why they use.</p><p>The reasons will also change as time goes by and the people they hang around changes.</p><p></p><p>To blame someone else for the problems they face is the very being of a Gift From God.</p><p></p><p>You are picking yourself apart for something you had no control over.</p><p>You may have been engulfed by your now easy child and her problems, but I am sure what you were dealing with made you more aware of what was going on with your difficult child.</p><p>If you had not experienced it, who knows if you would have been able to cope with all that difficult child has thrown at you.</p><p></p><p>Barbara you are teetering on the line of what ifs, you are second guessing all your original thoughts.</p><p>I fully understand and I can't say that is what happens with all of us, but I know that I find myself on that line often.</p><p></p><p>I have to take a step back and call a duck a duck, so to speak.</p><p>I know as well as you do that my son is calling the shots in his life, regardless of how I raised him, he is choosing to live a different life. Your son is doing the same thing.</p><p></p><p>Barbara, surround yourself with positive things, talk to a therapist to get you over this <img src="/community/styles/default/xenforo/smilies/2012/censored2.gif" class="smilie" loading="lazy" alt=":censored2:" title="censored2 :censored2:" data-shortname=":censored2:" />.</p><p></p><p>You have suffered enough at the hands of your son, it is time for you and husband now.</p><p></p><p>He has all the tools to make a change, nothing that you do at this time will make that happen.</p><p></p><p>Love Barbara now, you have done all you can do for him. </p><p></p><p>You have done the very best you could with what you were faced with, that is all any of us can do.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="hearthope, post: 27798, member: 2389"] Oh Barbara, if it was in the cards for him to be an addict, if you kept him with you 24 hrs a day, he still would be an addict. Your son is choosing to use... This has NOTHING to do with your parenting. Addicts use every reason they can grasp to explain why they use. The reasons will also change as time goes by and the people they hang around changes. To blame someone else for the problems they face is the very being of a Gift From God. You are picking yourself apart for something you had no control over. You may have been engulfed by your now easy child and her problems, but I am sure what you were dealing with made you more aware of what was going on with your difficult child. If you had not experienced it, who knows if you would have been able to cope with all that difficult child has thrown at you. Barbara you are teetering on the line of what ifs, you are second guessing all your original thoughts. I fully understand and I can't say that is what happens with all of us, but I know that I find myself on that line often. I have to take a step back and call a duck a duck, so to speak. I know as well as you do that my son is calling the shots in his life, regardless of how I raised him, he is choosing to live a different life. Your son is doing the same thing. Barbara, surround yourself with positive things, talk to a therapist to get you over this :censored:. You have suffered enough at the hands of your son, it is time for you and husband now. He has all the tools to make a change, nothing that you do at this time will make that happen. Love Barbara now, you have done all you can do for him. You have done the very best you could with what you were faced with, that is all any of us can do. [/QUOTE]
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