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spending sprees :Coping with
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<blockquote data-quote="susiestar" data-source="post: 289072" data-attributes="member: 1233"><p>No one here thinks she is not ill. We know she is. Even if all she had was substance abuse problems she would be ill.</p><p></p><p>I agree with smallworld that you should look at her medications. Because if she is going on huge spending sprees then she isn't stable. All the compliance in the world will not help her if the medications are not the right medications or at a therapeutic level. </p><p></p><p>If I had parents who gave me a debit card after I stole their checks and forged a thou a week on their accounts! What kid wouldn't want that?</p><p></p><p>She is free to go do what she wants, even after check forgery? You need to take a step back and really LOOK at what message you are sending. If no one in your real world life is telling you to take that long hard look, then they are not really helping. We are NOT telling you she is bad. We are telling you she needs more help, more treatment.</p><p></p><p>Why should she be invested in her recovery? Her medications are not keeping her moods stable. Her parents don't hold her accountable for even felony level crimes. She is still allowed to come and go as she likes if she just "checks in". </p><p></p><p>Do you SEE why she isn't invested in recovery? It would clip her wings. By NOT getting her medications adusted at the very least, you are not giving her the tools to become invested. You are very much tying her hands so she cannot become healthy. By NOT forcing her into a situation where she MUST face what she has done, and by NOT letting her feel the very real consequences of her behavior, you are setting her up for a GIANT fall.</p><p></p><p>At 16, even mentally ill, she can be charged with FELONIES as an ADULT if she steals from someone else. Even if she shoplifts, depending on what she takes and who she steals it from. MANY stores are pushing DA's to charge teens as adults for shoplifting. What happens if she is caught stealing and flips out at store security or the police? They really do not care if she is mentally ill. </p><p></p><p>If you let her go then you are placing her in that situation, likely in jail, because you have not let her learn and grow from the consequences of her actions.</p><p></p><p>I really don't care if you help every mentally ill person on the planet, and see a sponsor every day. If they are not telling you what we are, they either don't truly care about you and your difficult child, or they already know you are delusional. If you really think that keeping her from the consequences of her actions will help her get better, you need to see a psychiatrist and psychologist of your own. Ones who will tell you like it is, not like you want it to be. Because that is just NOT reality. No matter how many groups and boards and people you see in meetings. It just isn't reality.</p><p></p><p>Sorry. There just is no way to sugar coat this.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="susiestar, post: 289072, member: 1233"] No one here thinks she is not ill. We know she is. Even if all she had was substance abuse problems she would be ill. I agree with smallworld that you should look at her medications. Because if she is going on huge spending sprees then she isn't stable. All the compliance in the world will not help her if the medications are not the right medications or at a therapeutic level. If I had parents who gave me a debit card after I stole their checks and forged a thou a week on their accounts! What kid wouldn't want that? She is free to go do what she wants, even after check forgery? You need to take a step back and really LOOK at what message you are sending. If no one in your real world life is telling you to take that long hard look, then they are not really helping. We are NOT telling you she is bad. We are telling you she needs more help, more treatment. Why should she be invested in her recovery? Her medications are not keeping her moods stable. Her parents don't hold her accountable for even felony level crimes. She is still allowed to come and go as she likes if she just "checks in". Do you SEE why she isn't invested in recovery? It would clip her wings. By NOT getting her medications adusted at the very least, you are not giving her the tools to become invested. You are very much tying her hands so she cannot become healthy. By NOT forcing her into a situation where she MUST face what she has done, and by NOT letting her feel the very real consequences of her behavior, you are setting her up for a GIANT fall. At 16, even mentally ill, she can be charged with FELONIES as an ADULT if she steals from someone else. Even if she shoplifts, depending on what she takes and who she steals it from. MANY stores are pushing DA's to charge teens as adults for shoplifting. What happens if she is caught stealing and flips out at store security or the police? They really do not care if she is mentally ill. If you let her go then you are placing her in that situation, likely in jail, because you have not let her learn and grow from the consequences of her actions. I really don't care if you help every mentally ill person on the planet, and see a sponsor every day. If they are not telling you what we are, they either don't truly care about you and your difficult child, or they already know you are delusional. If you really think that keeping her from the consequences of her actions will help her get better, you need to see a psychiatrist and psychologist of your own. Ones who will tell you like it is, not like you want it to be. Because that is just NOT reality. No matter how many groups and boards and people you see in meetings. It just isn't reality. Sorry. There just is no way to sugar coat this. [/QUOTE]
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