Spending time in my 5% tonight

[Andy]

Today at the bowling alley, difficult child thanked me for getting cheese curds for him. I replied, "Well, sometimes I am a good mommy." He said that 95% of the time I am a good mom. I am pretty sure it is a lot less than that but o.k.

Tonight, it is 9:30, he should be sleeping. Instead? He is demanding that I go get him a snack because he is hungry. I told him when I was 12 I was making supper for 6 people, he can surely handle getting himself a snack. He is old enough to find snacks on his own. I believe in an open kitchen - if you are hungry, do something about it. He is about ready to call Child Protection (if he knew there was such a thing) on me for not feeding him.

In his anger, he kicked in the air and hit his toe on the door frame. Seems like that is my fault for injuring him and causing him to "bleed like crazy". Now I am suppose to get him a snack because I injured him. Not going to happen!

Wonder how long 5% lasts? Probably until he falls asleep!

 

[gcvmom]

Wow. Well hang in there mom -- good for you for holding your ground and pointing him in the direction of the kitchen. I insist on the same self-sufficience from my kiddos, too. They have license to use the microwave to heat stuff, and even the stovetop to make simple stuff like mac and cheese, quesadillas, eggs, soup... or the oven for frozen pizzas. They know how to make toast, cereal. They know how to make sandwiches. They will never starve! And I don't have to feel like a slave to their stomaches that seem to be on a different schedule than the rest of the world!

Hope he settles down and you can enjoy the rest of your evening.

 

[helpangel]

I've noticed with Angel if I tell her to go get something to eat she will taste test everything in the kitchen and still not be satisfied; also sometimes the frustration over not being satisfied can start a blow out that could go for hours and end up with an ambulance ride. For her she does better if I give her some choices like when says she's hungry I ask if want salty or sweet? She on a high fiber diet so it helps me guide my suggested choices without having to list every thing in there and usually she will like one of my suggestions. Also if I let her search on her own she will often go after the cookie dough in freezer instead of her fiber one bars or cereal or popcorn.

But then I don't know if I'm qualified to give a 95% advice as my kids say I'm only a good mom half the time and the other half I **** LOL.

 

[Steely]

Hugs.........
Gosh. How long until he out on his own????

 

[Andy]

Well, that is over and I am back to my 95% this morning. Though I will not hold my breath too long, I usually enter the 5% when school starts and I don't bring him back home when he doesn't think he can handle it. Today is class field trip so it should go well.

I had given him choices of rice krispie bar, potatoe chips, bowl of cereal, toast, banana, or heat up fettucine. All he had to do was take cover off the fettucine container and stick it in the microwave.

He was in his, "Thou shalt serve me" mode. If he would have asked properly and not demanded that I serve him, I probably would have gotten him something. This turned into a "You shall not treat your mother in such a way."

I told him to take it up with therapist. He said, "No". I then told him that he needs to bring ALL issues to therapist. That he is NOT going to end up treating me like this. He doesn't want to tell therapist that I refuse to feed him because he knows that is a lie and that therapist is smart enough to figure out the cause of this situation. He doesn't want therapist to know he can be a jerk to mom at times.

So, those 5% times are not often but they get intense and ugly.

He went to bed by giving me a hug and saying, "Good night Mommy! I love you even though you don't love me. I am going to loose my voice." I replied, "O.K. I will purchase you paper and get you into sign language classes when that happens."

Amazing what a good night's sleep will do!

 

[DaisyFace]

Andy--

FWIW, I think it's wonderful that your child has acknowledged that you are a good Mom and has given you a 95% approval rating. There are plenty of Moms here who would be happy with even a "so-so" rating from some of our difficult kids....so good for you! Congratulations!!

I'm afraid to ask what my rating is at the moment....everyone's been a bit cranky here lately and as per usual, everyone looks to me to fix it.

--DaisyF

 

[Wiped Out]

Glad he was better today! Today difficult child was slamming the pantry door, the refrigerator door and then kicked the chair I was sitting in (hurt my toes too). Why you ask? All because I don't have any good food in the house for him to eat! Never mind that he has plenty!

 

[Shari]

Don't you just LOVE the power you have over EVERYTHING????

I do.

I am all-powerful.

Til something goes right.

 

[Andy]

Yep, I have the POWER to make things go as HE wants them to go but he doesn't have power to make me use that POWER!

And I am pretty sure if you ask him during the 5% time, he will say that I am a bad mom 95% of the time (though probably closer to 100%).

 

[Alttlgabby]

"He is about ready to call Child Protection (if he knew there was such a thing) on me for not feeding him."

Tell him you will dial the number for him. All you HAVE to provide him with is ONE meal a day and a place to sleep. LOL Too funny what these kids *think they know. They are so serious but sometimes what they say is so funny because they think they know more than we do.