(exhales) bows head and asks forgiveness because this is......(purses lips, squints eyes and stares far off to the left; thinking as if in deep space) - exhales again.....or rather was one of those days that you think....should I? Should I share a piece of MY life with the girls? (twists mouth to the right, looks up to the right corner of the office and ....eech ....yeah I should be vacuuming right now, but this just needs to be told before.I.explode) I have long thought I had a strong constitution for a woman. I'm opinionated. I stand fast to my beliefs. I like to lead with grace, and humor. I. DO. NOT. (repeat it to yourselves) I. DO. NOT. share my medications with my family members. Since loosing my job, okay back up - since the sheriff storm-troopered my home, then loosing my job? I've been a bit of a nerve wad. If it were ONLY those things - you know; worrying about paying the bills, eating, finding a new job, applying for food-stamps, applying for unemployment, listening to the employed unemployment people whine about how they can't stand their jobs (orly? step aside), I think I could deal. Even the day the woman finally tried to cut me off in traffic and I refused then she did the "I will kick your hiney." spiel, and I jammed my car into neutral, pushed the foot break and literally ripped my seat belt off and as I exited the car to olige her I could hear her friend in the passenger seat screaming "SHUT UP, SHUT UP." and finally she said "FINE, WHATEVER." I thought and knew I was over the edge. So I called the doctor on the way to the food bank (there's a new word in my world) and asked for assistance. I got it. Klonopin and Lexapro. Okay so if you've never induldged? Klonopin (to me) is the equivalent of marijuana in a pill. (I AM GUESSING HERE PEOPLE) I left WalMart, and upon doctors orders after not having more than 12 hours of sleep in a week took one. One whole tablet. The ride home is 20 miles. I was so high. I mean wow. Yup...."PULL OVER NOW." I had to see the cars, in this lot. The grass? It was like spaghetti. I loved this one.......tree. (thought I was gonna say car huh?) Nope. Everything was just marvey. DF got me back in the car and I thought - Well now I can handle EVEN YOU Eeyore. Looked at him and laughed all the way home. See ever since I became unemployed? I have been up at the same time, eat at the same time and my job has become finding a job, and the game plan has been - getting the house ready to sell, and cleaning clutter....MASS Exodus....I'm the Moses of leading the sellables to the yardsale. But DF? At first it was every 1/2 hour with talking....questions. Checking in on me. Then every 15.....now it's every 12 minutes...and it. is. making. me nuts. I mean....grit your teeth koo koo. I need a mouth guard. I'm sure i've chipped a tooth? But I have no insurance - so when I can do it? I'm peeling a layer off a Chicklet and super gluing it on my tooth. What is up with this man? I can't even work on a resume or check the internet job sites. Do I need anything, Come look at this tv show. Walk outside with me. What do I think of this? Should he sell this? AARRRRGH. So he's been cleaning too right? I mean really cleaning - and this man is a borderline hoarder. We probably qualify for the show - but the camera guys would never get past the dogs. Then we'd be on an episode of Animal Cops, and what I'd really like to be on is Holmes on Homes (little eye candy there if he could keep his yap shut) or Move that bus....if Disney is included in Cali and I could see the girls in Cali? Anyway - here it comes...I know it. He's stressed. Can't sleep. Can he have one of my pills I now bite little tiny 1/4 pieces off of? The Klonopin? Yes. I sat there because he KNOWS how I feel about this. He was antsy....i thought then - well this is a man that isn't affected by morphine - what is a Klonopin going to do - it's merely throwing a pill away. Yeah - well I'm not a pharmacist, and I wish now I had known what I'm about to tell you. (drinks down) First off - he takes it. Then sits in the den. Thirty minutes later? He's in my room, flips on the overhead light, and has a hand full of MY pills and sweet as can be he says I forgot to take my PM medications. I sat up thinking - I better check my pill box. Nope - Wed. medications gone. I look on the counter and there are about 15 pills. uh huh.....5 of this 3 of that, 4 of those, 2 of and what is THAT? a laxative??? WTH? wow....what the? I put my pills back in their bottles throw the Senekot away. He had also brought me water, but was very put off that IIIIII had ASKED him (??) for my medications and now was refusing them. Mmm no did not....what is going on here? I look in the den - he's watching TV. Okay - going back to bed. Fifteen minutes later I hear rrrrrrwwwweeeerrrrrrrrkkkkkkkkkkkk......rrrrrrrrrrwwwweeeerrrrrrrkkkkk like furniture going across a concrete floor - it's ohhhh I dunno 11:30. He's moving the furniture in the den. Okay - now what? He SAW something. Saw what? he doesn't know but it was BIG. How big??? A spider? Nope does his fingers about the size of a gnat. I stand there blinking and he says "Don't just stand there help me find it." (exhale hard.. okay) I'll play - reach down and pretend to catch it....and throw it out the door. "What was it?" .....I said "I'm not sure, but it was big. It's gone." So he lays down laughing and chuckling and says "Going to sleep now." Then sits and out he goes. (snap, like that) At 1:30 AM.....I hear WHAM.....SON OF A.....WHAM.....(laughing) WHAM.....SON OF A....rrrrrwwwwweeeeeeeerrrrrkkkkkkkk........Pootie is going haywire....Casper is growling and I am thinking - ROBBERS!!!! I carefully grab protection.....head down to the den and there in the middle of the floor? DF stumbling all over the place with an imaginary fly swatter and falling, pushing the coffee table, laughing, falling, getting up and doing it all over again. At this point I'm thinking ONE KLONOPIN???? So I count...Okay - only one is gone. WOW. I get him to lay back down....and he's laughing. I open the door....let out the "whatever" -he's happy. I go back to bed. At 3:30.....here we go again. He's in the kitchen. He's taken everything out of the meat bin.....it's all arranged on the counter like he has Obsessive Compulsive Disorder (OCD). Then he stands there and says - HOW DID THIS GET HERE? I said "I think you put it here?" he said "NO. I wouldn't do that." I'm thinking - "It floated there?" I don't know. I kept thinking - When you say Hillshire - I'll say meat? Lets go back to bed shall we...and I led him back to sleep. Each time....happy to get back to sleep. Not sure if he's sleep walking or not.....but thirty minutes later he's in the kitchen again....and this time he's hiding pill bottles all over the place. WT....bloody? NO no no....let me help....he hands everything to me and says - Here you go - you put the rest of these up. I'm sore. So for the rest of the night I figured i'd sit up. Whenever he came through the house and saw me? he would ask WHAT are you doing up? I'd just say "Can't sleep." Then he'd turn around, go right back to sleep. Amazing. At one point the thought of leading him outside just to ask him if the grass felt like spaghetti to him. It was so tempting....but then the thought of not being able to catch him if he stripped down to his skivvies and ran screaming down the road kept me from asking. I mean I had no desire to spend the night in the nut hut trying to explain WHY I passed out prescription drugs to a man whose name .......well obviously was NOT on the bottle. Today three days later? I'm still finding things that well, to say the least are in weird places. Denial has set in like you can't believe. "I DID NOT PUT THAT THERE!!!!!" Oh of course you didn't honey. I must have done that. Okay. Sure. My water bottles? In the freezer. All of our regular aspirin and the dogs medicine? In the camera case. Shredded cheese? In the oven. Cat food in the dryer. (you know she was thrilled) Under the bathroom sink there were 12 rolls of toilet paper - opened. Could have something to do with that opened Senekot...I hope not. I swear it was like an episode out of the sorcerers apprentice. I know, I know.....but I did hide the car keys and the rest of the medications that night. I have since put them back...and didn't tell him but WOW. Now he thinks I'm the Queen of downers because I can bite a 1/4 of these pills. I keep thinking he can be the court jester if he takes another whole one. At least we know there will NEVER be a next time.