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General Parenting
Spitting, hating, hitting . . . what do you DO?!
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<blockquote data-quote="Christy" data-source="post: 174481" data-attributes="member: 225"><p>I understand your feelings. I was a professional nanny, a preschool teacher and then an elementary teacher. I dealt with all kinds of kids, difficult children included, and never lost my cool. Then we adopted my son and I couldn't believe how upset he makes me with his outrageous behaviors. He was thrown out of daycare for biting and hiting, always caused problems at the pool and playground, elementary school is a nightmare, and I was constantly screaming and dealing out consequences. I could not understand why I had been able to deal with other difficult children but my own son was causing me to have a nervous breakdown and then I realized theat there were two reasons for this. One, he's all mine 24/7 and this gave me a totally new perspective of what the parents of problem children in my classroom are going through. Teachers, like others, often assume bad behavior is a result of bad parenting. And two, the biggest reason I was so exsaperated, difficult children behaviors reflected poorly on me! I had a rep as a great teacher and now I had was responsible for the worst behavior problem in the school. I felt for the teachers because I knew how difficult it was to have my son in class. I was embarrassed and this made me react to severely with my son. It wasn't until I looked at the situation differently that I was able to focus on being the warrior mom my difficult child needed. I left teaching and made difficult child my top priority. I swallowed my pride and began to contact local agencies asking for help dealing with my son. There is an intensive behavioral support program that is run through our state and county, usually children are refered by social services or another agency. I was the first parent to refer herself. We got great services now for my son. Has his behavior improved? Not so much yet but I am hopeful. I am also thankful that others have a chance to see what we are struggling with and can offer suggestions of whre to go for here. </p><p></p><p>I am probably way off track by now, but I wanted to respond to your post because I identified with your feelings. Try not to personalize (how hard is that!) difficult child behaviors and don't blame yourself. Step back and ask yourself how you would address this if he were a child in your classroom.</p><p></p><p>Good Luck!</p><p>Christy</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Christy, post: 174481, member: 225"] I understand your feelings. I was a professional nanny, a preschool teacher and then an elementary teacher. I dealt with all kinds of kids, difficult children included, and never lost my cool. Then we adopted my son and I couldn't believe how upset he makes me with his outrageous behaviors. He was thrown out of daycare for biting and hiting, always caused problems at the pool and playground, elementary school is a nightmare, and I was constantly screaming and dealing out consequences. I could not understand why I had been able to deal with other difficult children but my own son was causing me to have a nervous breakdown and then I realized theat there were two reasons for this. One, he's all mine 24/7 and this gave me a totally new perspective of what the parents of problem children in my classroom are going through. Teachers, like others, often assume bad behavior is a result of bad parenting. And two, the biggest reason I was so exsaperated, difficult children behaviors reflected poorly on me! I had a rep as a great teacher and now I had was responsible for the worst behavior problem in the school. I felt for the teachers because I knew how difficult it was to have my son in class. I was embarrassed and this made me react to severely with my son. It wasn't until I looked at the situation differently that I was able to focus on being the warrior mom my difficult child needed. I left teaching and made difficult child my top priority. I swallowed my pride and began to contact local agencies asking for help dealing with my son. There is an intensive behavioral support program that is run through our state and county, usually children are refered by social services or another agency. I was the first parent to refer herself. We got great services now for my son. Has his behavior improved? Not so much yet but I am hopeful. I am also thankful that others have a chance to see what we are struggling with and can offer suggestions of whre to go for here. I am probably way off track by now, but I wanted to respond to your post because I identified with your feelings. Try not to personalize (how hard is that!) difficult child behaviors and don't blame yourself. Step back and ask yourself how you would address this if he were a child in your classroom. Good Luck! Christy [/QUOTE]
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