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Spitting, hating, hitting . . . what do you DO?!
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<blockquote data-quote="TerryJ2" data-source="post: 174533" data-attributes="member: 3419"><p>No, I don't think they're the cause. I think those things exacerbate a type of personality that already exists.</p><p>in my humble opinion.</p><p> </p><p>Since you have a history, I would <em>definitely</em> get a diagnosis.</p><p> </p><p>In the meantime, this is going to sound ridiculous, don't hit, spit or yell back. <img src="data:image/gif;base64,R0lGODlhAQABAIAAAAAAAP///yH5BAEAAAAALAAAAAABAAEAAAIBRAA7" class="smilie smilie--sprite smilie--sprite1" alt=":)" title="Smile :)" loading="lazy" data-shortname=":)" /> Use a firm tone and send him to his room. He is overwhelmed and angry and does not know how to deal with-what's going on in his head. It will also keep him away from the other kids. (I hope he's good about going to his room.) </p><p>At least in our case, our difficult child would go to his room and rage, trash the room, and eventually calm down. But it took yrs of practice. (Sorry, it may not take that long with-you.) Looking back on it, I truly believe that if we had known our difficult child had a wheat allergy (or Celiac's) and had put him on a stimulant earlier, we could have avoided the horrid things that happened to bring me to the point where you feel now. But armchair quarterbacking is soooo easy ...</p><p> </p><p>So I'd get a grip on it right away, because you've got a lot of kids to deal with-, plus little support and a history of moving in the military.</p><p>Not a good combo.</p><p> </p><p>with-the sensory issues and the above-level intelligence your difficult child exhibits, you could very well be dealing with-an Aspie. Watch out for a quick diagnosis, though--many psychs think that merely because a kid is very verbal he's automatically not an Aspie. Sounds like you've already been through that. I second the above comments to find a neuropsychologist. And then get a 2nd neuropsychologist opinion if nec.</p><p> </p><p>About the room issue--our child psychiatric gave us an idea to race our son to the bedroom very slowly, by saying, "You go to your rm now or I will go there first and grab anything that's lying on the floor and keep it." Of course, your difficult child will consider that a non-serious threat and won't move. Then you begin walking. If you actually make it to his rm, start to pick up stuff. Expect a MAJOR meltdown. And maybe even a physical confrontation. (It helps to have a big, calm friend with-you when this happens. Would your husband be calm enough to pull it off, given his history? It would be nice to give him a chance.)</p><p>You will have to do this a few times for difficult child to get it through his head that you mean biz when you send him to his rm. Mine has blocked me on the stairway and spat on me. </p><p> </p><p>We keep a list of the behaviors to tell the child psychiatric, and he'll look at difficult child and in a stunned and deep-man tone of voice, and say, "You SPIT on your MOTHER?" difficult child really respects him and for whatever reason, the child psychiatric can do all the same things we do but difficult child will listen to him.</p><p> </p><p>Once difficult child has it in his head that you mean biz, and that you will "report him," you can work on new behaviors. Okay, you're supposed to be working on new behaviors right now, LOL. But I know you're overwhelmed.</p><p> </p><p>I would suggest only working on one or two behaviors at a time. It's too complicated and exhausting to tackle it all at once.</p><p> </p><p>In your case, just in my humble opinion, I'd address the safety issue around the other kids, first.</p><p> </p><p>I'm glad you found us! I know how you feel.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="TerryJ2, post: 174533, member: 3419"] No, I don't think they're the cause. I think those things exacerbate a type of personality that already exists. in my humble opinion. Since you have a history, I would [I]definitely[/I] get a diagnosis. In the meantime, this is going to sound ridiculous, don't hit, spit or yell back. :) Use a firm tone and send him to his room. He is overwhelmed and angry and does not know how to deal with-what's going on in his head. It will also keep him away from the other kids. (I hope he's good about going to his room.) At least in our case, our difficult child would go to his room and rage, trash the room, and eventually calm down. But it took yrs of practice. (Sorry, it may not take that long with-you.) Looking back on it, I truly believe that if we had known our difficult child had a wheat allergy (or Celiac's) and had put him on a stimulant earlier, we could have avoided the horrid things that happened to bring me to the point where you feel now. But armchair quarterbacking is soooo easy ... So I'd get a grip on it right away, because you've got a lot of kids to deal with-, plus little support and a history of moving in the military. Not a good combo. with-the sensory issues and the above-level intelligence your difficult child exhibits, you could very well be dealing with-an Aspie. Watch out for a quick diagnosis, though--many psychs think that merely because a kid is very verbal he's automatically not an Aspie. Sounds like you've already been through that. I second the above comments to find a neuropsychologist. And then get a 2nd neuropsychologist opinion if nec. About the room issue--our child psychiatric gave us an idea to race our son to the bedroom very slowly, by saying, "You go to your rm now or I will go there first and grab anything that's lying on the floor and keep it." Of course, your difficult child will consider that a non-serious threat and won't move. Then you begin walking. If you actually make it to his rm, start to pick up stuff. Expect a MAJOR meltdown. And maybe even a physical confrontation. (It helps to have a big, calm friend with-you when this happens. Would your husband be calm enough to pull it off, given his history? It would be nice to give him a chance.) You will have to do this a few times for difficult child to get it through his head that you mean biz when you send him to his rm. Mine has blocked me on the stairway and spat on me. We keep a list of the behaviors to tell the child psychiatric, and he'll look at difficult child and in a stunned and deep-man tone of voice, and say, "You SPIT on your MOTHER?" difficult child really respects him and for whatever reason, the child psychiatric can do all the same things we do but difficult child will listen to him. Once difficult child has it in his head that you mean biz, and that you will "report him," you can work on new behaviors. Okay, you're supposed to be working on new behaviors right now, LOL. But I know you're overwhelmed. I would suggest only working on one or two behaviors at a time. It's too complicated and exhausting to tackle it all at once. In your case, just in my humble opinion, I'd address the safety issue around the other kids, first. I'm glad you found us! I know how you feel. [/QUOTE]
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