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General Parenting
Spitting, hating, hitting . . . what do you DO?!
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<blockquote data-quote="OpenWindow" data-source="post: 174628" data-attributes="member: 45"><p>Kicking, biting and spitting, "I hate you" - yep been there done that too. Behavior charts and rewards didn't work for him either. Same as yours, he figured out quickly what we were doing and did everything he could to sabotage it. He wanted to be in control.</p><p></p><p>You have to find what motivates him. I have only found a few that motivate my difficult child, and one is video games. I used to limit video game time but than I realized it was really the only thing difficult child enjoyed. So I used it as a reward for everything. He played a lot of video games, and still does, and I don't believe it has been a negative thing. It helps him with the other kids - they are all talking about the games and so is he. easy child's friends come over and he can play games with them. He is still getting good grades in school. He does get worked up after playing too long so I do make him do something active and away from the video games, but it has worked for us. When he does do his chores or clean his room, it is usually only because we tell him no video games until the other stuff is done.</p><p></p><p>One thing I learned from the Explosive Child was that difficult child doesn't really want to be in trouble all the time, he doesn't want to make us mad. What child would really want to be in trouble all the time? When I look at it like that, it makes it easier for me to cope with him and to try to help him learn the right way to act and react, instead of just disciplining all the time.</p><p></p><p>Linda</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="OpenWindow, post: 174628, member: 45"] Kicking, biting and spitting, "I hate you" - yep been there done that too. Behavior charts and rewards didn't work for him either. Same as yours, he figured out quickly what we were doing and did everything he could to sabotage it. He wanted to be in control. You have to find what motivates him. I have only found a few that motivate my difficult child, and one is video games. I used to limit video game time but than I realized it was really the only thing difficult child enjoyed. So I used it as a reward for everything. He played a lot of video games, and still does, and I don't believe it has been a negative thing. It helps him with the other kids - they are all talking about the games and so is he. easy child's friends come over and he can play games with them. He is still getting good grades in school. He does get worked up after playing too long so I do make him do something active and away from the video games, but it has worked for us. When he does do his chores or clean his room, it is usually only because we tell him no video games until the other stuff is done. One thing I learned from the Explosive Child was that difficult child doesn't really want to be in trouble all the time, he doesn't want to make us mad. What child would really want to be in trouble all the time? When I look at it like that, it makes it easier for me to cope with him and to try to help him learn the right way to act and react, instead of just disciplining all the time. Linda [/QUOTE]
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Spitting, hating, hitting . . . what do you DO?!
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