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General Parenting
Spitting, hating, hitting . . . what do you do?
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<blockquote data-quote="Ktllc" data-source="post: 442091" data-attributes="member: 11847"><p>First of all, try not to feel guilty about wanting to escape. I have had fantasies of my difficult child never being born. I think it is normal... they can cause so much stress and hurt. Getting him evaluated would be a good idea. But know that therapy can be effective even before you pin point what really is wrong through the psychiatric evaluation. </p><p>Just to give an example: 4 months, I was crying almost every night because of difficult child and the chaos he was creating. husband and I knew we needed help, difficult child needed help! We are still waiting for the psychiatric evaluation, but having a partial diagnosis (see my signature) has helped in a way. We know, it is confirmed by professional that we, as parents, are not the problem and we need to persue our journey to help him. On my end, it was important to hear that... cause the constant yelling (both on my end and difficult child's) is no good for self esteem as you know.</p><p>We started behavioral therapy 2 months ago and that has helped a lot. The therapist had a hard time finding a diagnosis she was confortable with (she admits ODD is only "good for now", "we'll do with it" and she added anxiety as well) but through talking with me and difficult child she has given small tips. Let me tell you, at first I did not believe in those small tips (how can something so small, change such big outbursts?) but decided to trust her and try to follow as best as I could. Well, 2 months later, I see results. Even my husband who is home only on the weekend is happy with the changes. Those changes are REALLY small, my difficult child is still a difficult child but it gives hope and if we keep following the advise, nuturing those small changes, etc. I'm confident, our family life will only become more peaceful overtime. Maybe google behavioral therapy in your area or ask your pediatrician. Ask all the help you can, don't hesitate and don't wait (the process is soooooooo slow). </p><p>I myself have to work on my temper and the therapist does help me in that as well, learn not to react too strongly to difficult child's meltdown. </p><p>You have found a great place and this forum will also become part of your "getting help solution".</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Ktllc, post: 442091, member: 11847"] First of all, try not to feel guilty about wanting to escape. I have had fantasies of my difficult child never being born. I think it is normal... they can cause so much stress and hurt. Getting him evaluated would be a good idea. But know that therapy can be effective even before you pin point what really is wrong through the psychiatric evaluation. Just to give an example: 4 months, I was crying almost every night because of difficult child and the chaos he was creating. husband and I knew we needed help, difficult child needed help! We are still waiting for the psychiatric evaluation, but having a partial diagnosis (see my signature) has helped in a way. We know, it is confirmed by professional that we, as parents, are not the problem and we need to persue our journey to help him. On my end, it was important to hear that... cause the constant yelling (both on my end and difficult child's) is no good for self esteem as you know. We started behavioral therapy 2 months ago and that has helped a lot. The therapist had a hard time finding a diagnosis she was confortable with (she admits ODD is only "good for now", "we'll do with it" and she added anxiety as well) but through talking with me and difficult child she has given small tips. Let me tell you, at first I did not believe in those small tips (how can something so small, change such big outbursts?) but decided to trust her and try to follow as best as I could. Well, 2 months later, I see results. Even my husband who is home only on the weekend is happy with the changes. Those changes are REALLY small, my difficult child is still a difficult child but it gives hope and if we keep following the advise, nuturing those small changes, etc. I'm confident, our family life will only become more peaceful overtime. Maybe google behavioral therapy in your area or ask your pediatrician. Ask all the help you can, don't hesitate and don't wait (the process is soooooooo slow). I myself have to work on my temper and the therapist does help me in that as well, learn not to react too strongly to difficult child's meltdown. You have found a great place and this forum will also become part of your "getting help solution". [/QUOTE]
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