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Spitting, hating, hitting . . . what do you do?
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<blockquote data-quote="april1974" data-source="post: 442926" data-attributes="member: 12128"><p>Welcome....try not to beat yourself up....it's really hard to parent a child who can be difficult...I know I've felt the same feelings as you...my vision of what our family would like isn't exactly going to plan...it's been challenging to say the least. I hear in your voice that point of giving up....because we love our kids but it's hard when they make life difficult and they can be unbearable to be around. that feeling of wanting to escape I can really sympathize with....I would have daydreams of the old days when it was just my husband & daughter, I would sometimes think...I wish we were still a family of 3 or daydreaming of not having twins. It is really tiring and the constant stress on our lives takes it's toll. I figure the amount of stress I've felt over this past year I'm due for a heart attack by age 40!</p><p></p><p>My advice is get a referal to a specialist so you can start dealing with the issues now while he's still young.</p><p></p><p>Spitting: my son E went through a very bad spell of spitting and it was so gross...he did at school and I got phone calls regarding his behaviour....I would get soooo mad...I finally told him "it's ok to spit, but not on people..if you are going to spit you can go spit in the toilet" Thank goodness he eventually stopped. From what I read it's one of those things that boys tend to do and the best way to deal with it is ignore it and the bigger deal you make of it the worse it get's....sigh....but boys can't be boys in school and I better not start down that road. I get that it's not ok to spit on people...but it's normal for boys to spit... I say ignore it unless he spits on somebody.</p><p></p><p>I hate you: My M does that, he will say I hate you and you are stupid....so frustrating...I always say "how would you feel if I said I hate you to you?" he says "I wouldn't like it" I say "ok then don't say it to me" or I'll say "if you hate me, you can leave and go live somewhere else, find a new family" usually he gets upset and says "I don't want to live somewhere else" I'm probably doing it all wrong but I find it upsetting when he says this....alot of times when he says that I just say "that's fine...but I love you" I know I'm not very consistant.</p><p></p><p>Hitting: My M has had a rough school year...he's will hit unprovoked and it's frustrating...knock on wood since school has been out he has gotten better and we have put in a reward system for him...since he went the last 2wks of school with no hitting he got to go see Cars2. I'm trying to sort out the "normal" boy hitting between him & his brother and the aggressive non-normal behaviour. It's hard. Alot of "normal" siblings find happiness in making their siblings squeal....I know of many many many kids who tormented their siblings and they were very normal kids.....not saying it's ok...but your not alone and doesn't make him abnormal.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="april1974, post: 442926, member: 12128"] Welcome....try not to beat yourself up....it's really hard to parent a child who can be difficult...I know I've felt the same feelings as you...my vision of what our family would like isn't exactly going to plan...it's been challenging to say the least. I hear in your voice that point of giving up....because we love our kids but it's hard when they make life difficult and they can be unbearable to be around. that feeling of wanting to escape I can really sympathize with....I would have daydreams of the old days when it was just my husband & daughter, I would sometimes think...I wish we were still a family of 3 or daydreaming of not having twins. It is really tiring and the constant stress on our lives takes it's toll. I figure the amount of stress I've felt over this past year I'm due for a heart attack by age 40! My advice is get a referal to a specialist so you can start dealing with the issues now while he's still young. Spitting: my son E went through a very bad spell of spitting and it was so gross...he did at school and I got phone calls regarding his behaviour....I would get soooo mad...I finally told him "it's ok to spit, but not on people..if you are going to spit you can go spit in the toilet" Thank goodness he eventually stopped. From what I read it's one of those things that boys tend to do and the best way to deal with it is ignore it and the bigger deal you make of it the worse it get's....sigh....but boys can't be boys in school and I better not start down that road. I get that it's not ok to spit on people...but it's normal for boys to spit... I say ignore it unless he spits on somebody. I hate you: My M does that, he will say I hate you and you are stupid....so frustrating...I always say "how would you feel if I said I hate you to you?" he says "I wouldn't like it" I say "ok then don't say it to me" or I'll say "if you hate me, you can leave and go live somewhere else, find a new family" usually he gets upset and says "I don't want to live somewhere else" I'm probably doing it all wrong but I find it upsetting when he says this....alot of times when he says that I just say "that's fine...but I love you" I know I'm not very consistant. Hitting: My M has had a rough school year...he's will hit unprovoked and it's frustrating...knock on wood since school has been out he has gotten better and we have put in a reward system for him...since he went the last 2wks of school with no hitting he got to go see Cars2. I'm trying to sort out the "normal" boy hitting between him & his brother and the aggressive non-normal behaviour. It's hard. Alot of "normal" siblings find happiness in making their siblings squeal....I know of many many many kids who tormented their siblings and they were very normal kids.....not saying it's ok...but your not alone and doesn't make him abnormal. [/QUOTE]
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Spitting, hating, hitting . . . what do you do?
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