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Substance Abuse
Sponsor system in 'x' Anonymous. Can someone enlighten me?
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<blockquote data-quote="Signorina" data-source="post: 606117"><p>Suz, I mean this kindly. You need to detach. </p><p></p><p>He is away and living on his own. He chose this team fully aware that GA was a requirement. You pointed out earlier that he had other options including other teams. It seems he has been struggling with his sport & life balance for a while. </p><p></p><p>We all want to manage our difficult children lives. Boy would that make everything easier! But we can't. Your difficult child is in another country and yet he is coming to you with all of these details about his group . Like any mom, you are concerned and so he tells you more. And then you worry and then advocate on his behalf and worry more and then go into problem solving mode for him. And he's 20 years old. You seem to be more vested than he is. He vents it all to you and you take it all on for him. And that is never good. It's really easy to let that happen. We all do it. And it usually bites us in the end. In fact, he told you that he can handle it. SO LET HIM. </p><p></p><p>I understand why you are concerned. I agree that these programs are not a good fit. I agree that other treatment or coping options could be better. But that wasn't your choice to make. He chose this team. He chose to play this sport. He has struggled with past teams and he chose this team because he wants to play for them and fully knowing that the 12 steps program is a requirement. Life has pros and cons. So do choices. Read the statements to detach. Be loving and supportive but disengage from it. If he complains or vents or gives you all the details - agree with him sympathetically. - but make it clear that this belongs to him. Shortly and sweetly."gosh I understand how you feel; how are you going to handle it?"</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Signorina, post: 606117"] Suz, I mean this kindly. You need to detach. He is away and living on his own. He chose this team fully aware that GA was a requirement. You pointed out earlier that he had other options including other teams. It seems he has been struggling with his sport & life balance for a while. We all want to manage our difficult children lives. Boy would that make everything easier! But we can't. Your difficult child is in another country and yet he is coming to you with all of these details about his group . Like any mom, you are concerned and so he tells you more. And then you worry and then advocate on his behalf and worry more and then go into problem solving mode for him. And he's 20 years old. You seem to be more vested than he is. He vents it all to you and you take it all on for him. And that is never good. It's really easy to let that happen. We all do it. And it usually bites us in the end. In fact, he told you that he can handle it. SO LET HIM. I understand why you are concerned. I agree that these programs are not a good fit. I agree that other treatment or coping options could be better. But that wasn't your choice to make. He chose this team. He chose to play this sport. He has struggled with past teams and he chose this team because he wants to play for them and fully knowing that the 12 steps program is a requirement. Life has pros and cons. So do choices. Read the statements to detach. Be loving and supportive but disengage from it. If he complains or vents or gives you all the details - agree with him sympathetically. - but make it clear that this belongs to him. Shortly and sweetly."gosh I understand how you feel; how are you going to handle it?" [/QUOTE]
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Sponsor system in 'x' Anonymous. Can someone enlighten me?
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