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Substance Abuse
Sponsor system in 'x' Anonymous. Can someone enlighten me?
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<blockquote data-quote="SuZir" data-source="post: 606153" data-attributes="member: 14557"><p>Yes, his plan was to fake his way through meetings and do the bare minimum. I think he grossly underestimated his inability to say no and stand his ground in any productive way (outside the field that is.) And of course, if even half what he is telling me is true, there is something off in this group. And he really doesn't have a concrete reason to lie to me. He doesn't need to convince me that it is not a good fit. He also does know how he can get out of it. (Really simply complaining to his psychiatrist that it makes urges worse and he has difficult time redirecting his thoughts would be enough.)</p><p></p><p>However I would not be surprised, if difficult child would be planning just trying to stand it till he is in so strong standing in team, that no one takes him to task if he simply stops going. Of course if he plans that, he is not counting that his agent would not like that at all, neither likely his sport psychiatric. You just doesn't give ammo like that (demonstrably breaking your contract) to your employer, if you can avoid it. Not even if they are not likely to use it at that point. It of course doesn't go other way around. Teams try to break contracts just as much as they can get away from. For example there just was one guy in one player strike in other team sport, because he was promised a three bed room apartment and was planning bringing his family over. He was still in hotel alone five weeks after coming to the country when he started his strike (it was of course announced as an injury by his team but sport reporters found out.) And in smaller things it is very typical. difficult child and his room mate were not only out of some furniture when they moved in; they still do not have all the cable channels they were promised to. And only last week they got a first one not dubbed in language neither of them understands. difficult child is lucky to have a room mate much better in standing up for himself. If it was up to difficult child, he would likely be deferred to just watching Netflix for whole season. (And yeah, I do hope difficult child watches and learns, how to take care of that kind of business.)</p><p></p><p>But anyway I don't think difficult child took in count how difficult it is for him to stand up for himself and how much he will want to please his new coaches etc. Especially without any back-up close to him. Before he had us and in his last town he had a positional coach he is close to. Even though he didn't coach difficult child any more last season, he was still in the town and looked after difficult child. Now he is first time without anyone to turn to. And quite alone. Other than his room mate, only three guys from the team will speak English more than absolutely necessary and only one is willing to hang out with difficult child and room mate and translate what coaches say to them. That is tough they to learn to be more self-sufficient.</p><p></p><p>Advocating even for your child can be tough and take everything you got. Most of us know that and have been so tired doing it that we have only wanted to give up, because it just is such an uphill battle. Advocating for yourself has to be even worse. Because not only are you having to battle those same battles parents endure when they advocate for their kids, you have to be also extremely self-aware and honest about yourself and admit painful things out loud. Admit weakness even though the answer will likely be anything but pleasant. Being a guy and pro athlete is not making it any easier. They are supposed to be tough guys. Eat nails and s*** bullets. Admitting weakness and anxiety and trying to get help for that is a huge thing in that world. So I'm not surprised difficult child is having huge issues with self advocating and will likely need help in that for some time more.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="SuZir, post: 606153, member: 14557"] Yes, his plan was to fake his way through meetings and do the bare minimum. I think he grossly underestimated his inability to say no and stand his ground in any productive way (outside the field that is.) And of course, if even half what he is telling me is true, there is something off in this group. And he really doesn't have a concrete reason to lie to me. He doesn't need to convince me that it is not a good fit. He also does know how he can get out of it. (Really simply complaining to his psychiatrist that it makes urges worse and he has difficult time redirecting his thoughts would be enough.) However I would not be surprised, if difficult child would be planning just trying to stand it till he is in so strong standing in team, that no one takes him to task if he simply stops going. Of course if he plans that, he is not counting that his agent would not like that at all, neither likely his sport psychiatric. You just doesn't give ammo like that (demonstrably breaking your contract) to your employer, if you can avoid it. Not even if they are not likely to use it at that point. It of course doesn't go other way around. Teams try to break contracts just as much as they can get away from. For example there just was one guy in one player strike in other team sport, because he was promised a three bed room apartment and was planning bringing his family over. He was still in hotel alone five weeks after coming to the country when he started his strike (it was of course announced as an injury by his team but sport reporters found out.) And in smaller things it is very typical. difficult child and his room mate were not only out of some furniture when they moved in; they still do not have all the cable channels they were promised to. And only last week they got a first one not dubbed in language neither of them understands. difficult child is lucky to have a room mate much better in standing up for himself. If it was up to difficult child, he would likely be deferred to just watching Netflix for whole season. (And yeah, I do hope difficult child watches and learns, how to take care of that kind of business.) But anyway I don't think difficult child took in count how difficult it is for him to stand up for himself and how much he will want to please his new coaches etc. Especially without any back-up close to him. Before he had us and in his last town he had a positional coach he is close to. Even though he didn't coach difficult child any more last season, he was still in the town and looked after difficult child. Now he is first time without anyone to turn to. And quite alone. Other than his room mate, only three guys from the team will speak English more than absolutely necessary and only one is willing to hang out with difficult child and room mate and translate what coaches say to them. That is tough they to learn to be more self-sufficient. Advocating even for your child can be tough and take everything you got. Most of us know that and have been so tired doing it that we have only wanted to give up, because it just is such an uphill battle. Advocating for yourself has to be even worse. Because not only are you having to battle those same battles parents endure when they advocate for their kids, you have to be also extremely self-aware and honest about yourself and admit painful things out loud. Admit weakness even though the answer will likely be anything but pleasant. Being a guy and pro athlete is not making it any easier. They are supposed to be tough guys. Eat nails and s*** bullets. Admitting weakness and anxiety and trying to get help for that is a huge thing in that world. So I'm not surprised difficult child is having huge issues with self advocating and will likely need help in that for some time more. [/QUOTE]
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