Forums
New posts
Search forums
What's new
New posts
New profile posts
Latest activity
Internet Search
Members
Current visitors
New profile posts
Search profile posts
Log in
Register
What's new
Search
Search
Search titles only
By:
New posts
Search forums
Menu
Log in
Register
Install the app
Install
Forums
Parent Support Forums
Substance Abuse
Sponsor system in 'x' Anonymous. Can someone enlighten me?
JavaScript is disabled. For a better experience, please enable JavaScript in your browser before proceeding.
You are using an out of date browser. It may not display this or other websites correctly.
You should upgrade or use an
alternative browser
.
Reply to thread
Message
<blockquote data-quote="SuZir" data-source="post: 606267" data-attributes="member: 14557"><p>It does make perfect sense to the mployer. Not only has the GM himself found help from AA and is a believer (which I understand perfectly, if something is a huge help for you, you are more inclined to believe it helps also other), but it does give them also a nice way to wash their hands. Because of difficult child's known issues, he is considered a risk (even if he never again gambled and would play 20 more years, they would still consider him 'risky' because of that, things like that so strong.) If something would happen with him, first thing sport reporters would ask from team management would be: "Did you know about the past issues and him being risky choice? What did you do to support him to prevent this?" With forcing difficult child to GA, they can claim that they did everything they could to help and support difficult child, but despite all their efforts blaah, blaah, blaah. And with no additional cost for them at all.</p><p></p><p>How I worry GA could hurt difficult child? There are several things I worry about.</p><p></p><p>First is a thing he told himself. All that talk about gambling makes him think about gambling more and to have more urges to gamble. Of course one can consider that a good way to test his coping mechanism, but usually it is against common wisdom to go to places that make you want to do things you shouldn't. Many recovering alcoholics don't like to go to bars for this reason. For difficult child, even though his addiction is gambling, it is little more precise. What hooks him is a component of high stakes or certain fast-based visual/sensory stimuli online poker has. difficult child can easily go to sport bar in casino (he has never gambled in casino, emotionally it doesn't connect for him to gambling) or even buy a lottery ticket or take part of team's raffle on something or even play poker with team mates for nickels to kill time during long bus trips. None of that connects to his gambling addiction for him. However he can't play certain computer games, because those do connect. He can play sport games, or video games with movie like atmosphere etc. But something as simple as zookeeper (fun little classic game there you move animals) then again hits him right to the same neurological tracks gambling did. And that he can't play at all, or he will have very hard time not taking next step towards the gambling.</p><p></p><p>What I'm trying to say, it of course is not GA's fault if their way of handling things is triggering for difficult child. But it can make it a poor fit for difficult child. Especially when the tools difficult child does use, are, at least in letter, antonym to GA principles. When twelve steps teaches powerlessness over the addiction, difficult child has been taught that he has all the power and can control his thoughts and actions etc. Getting confused and middle of these two models would likely not be a great idea.</p><p></p><p>Then there are other worries than relapsing.</p><p></p><p>Let's start with the obvious. My difficult child is sheltered, upper middle class, younger than his years country pumping from one of the safest places in earth in most criteria. He isn't home now. This group is in the bigger city in driving distance from his current city. In area there lives lots of people, who have went through many historical upheavals even in their life time. There middle income is one third of ours. There many have learned to take care of themselves first. We then again have had a luxury to teach our kids trust, equality and all that. difficult child is smart, but he is not street smart. He is vulnerable and easy victim. And even with all his trust issues, he is down right gullible in other ways. Great example from this summer. He kept his bag in unlocked car next to one of our outbuilding (but not in our garden where at least our dogs would have warned if someone had gone in.) Okay, we keep our cars unlocked too and may leave something in them too. But not a bag with almost ten grand worth of stuff in it. Of course to difficult child's defence I have to say, it is difficult to sell stuff, but still. When husband mentioned to him, that he probably should bring the bag to house, he asked why, it smells and all that. That is how non-street smart he is. Easy prey. </p><p></p><p>And even if the forget that this area is very different from our home, it is other gamblers who are reason for concern too. According some studies every third pathological gambler has also anti-social personality disorder, in some it is 'only' every fourth. Anyway that is sky high. So basically in every support group for gamblers, there are several who have ASPD or are psychopaths. That would be statiscally true even if you would think that ASPD people with gambling problems would be less likely to seek help. In non-professional, non-governered, autonomous groups, that sounds like a big risk factor for me. My difficult child is certainly not an angel, but he is far from being able to deal with that kind of people either. And let's face it, if things difficult child tells me are even close to objective truth this group sounds like it has gone bit awry. Especially this sponsor stuff. And that is why I asked. I of course have read GA (and AA9 webpages, but those are not so informative in these types of things.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="SuZir, post: 606267, member: 14557"] It does make perfect sense to the mployer. Not only has the GM himself found help from AA and is a believer (which I understand perfectly, if something is a huge help for you, you are more inclined to believe it helps also other), but it does give them also a nice way to wash their hands. Because of difficult child's known issues, he is considered a risk (even if he never again gambled and would play 20 more years, they would still consider him 'risky' because of that, things like that so strong.) If something would happen with him, first thing sport reporters would ask from team management would be: "Did you know about the past issues and him being risky choice? What did you do to support him to prevent this?" With forcing difficult child to GA, they can claim that they did everything they could to help and support difficult child, but despite all their efforts blaah, blaah, blaah. And with no additional cost for them at all. How I worry GA could hurt difficult child? There are several things I worry about. First is a thing he told himself. All that talk about gambling makes him think about gambling more and to have more urges to gamble. Of course one can consider that a good way to test his coping mechanism, but usually it is against common wisdom to go to places that make you want to do things you shouldn't. Many recovering alcoholics don't like to go to bars for this reason. For difficult child, even though his addiction is gambling, it is little more precise. What hooks him is a component of high stakes or certain fast-based visual/sensory stimuli online poker has. difficult child can easily go to sport bar in casino (he has never gambled in casino, emotionally it doesn't connect for him to gambling) or even buy a lottery ticket or take part of team's raffle on something or even play poker with team mates for nickels to kill time during long bus trips. None of that connects to his gambling addiction for him. However he can't play certain computer games, because those do connect. He can play sport games, or video games with movie like atmosphere etc. But something as simple as zookeeper (fun little classic game there you move animals) then again hits him right to the same neurological tracks gambling did. And that he can't play at all, or he will have very hard time not taking next step towards the gambling. What I'm trying to say, it of course is not GA's fault if their way of handling things is triggering for difficult child. But it can make it a poor fit for difficult child. Especially when the tools difficult child does use, are, at least in letter, antonym to GA principles. When twelve steps teaches powerlessness over the addiction, difficult child has been taught that he has all the power and can control his thoughts and actions etc. Getting confused and middle of these two models would likely not be a great idea. Then there are other worries than relapsing. Let's start with the obvious. My difficult child is sheltered, upper middle class, younger than his years country pumping from one of the safest places in earth in most criteria. He isn't home now. This group is in the bigger city in driving distance from his current city. In area there lives lots of people, who have went through many historical upheavals even in their life time. There middle income is one third of ours. There many have learned to take care of themselves first. We then again have had a luxury to teach our kids trust, equality and all that. difficult child is smart, but he is not street smart. He is vulnerable and easy victim. And even with all his trust issues, he is down right gullible in other ways. Great example from this summer. He kept his bag in unlocked car next to one of our outbuilding (but not in our garden where at least our dogs would have warned if someone had gone in.) Okay, we keep our cars unlocked too and may leave something in them too. But not a bag with almost ten grand worth of stuff in it. Of course to difficult child's defence I have to say, it is difficult to sell stuff, but still. When husband mentioned to him, that he probably should bring the bag to house, he asked why, it smells and all that. That is how non-street smart he is. Easy prey. And even if the forget that this area is very different from our home, it is other gamblers who are reason for concern too. According some studies every third pathological gambler has also anti-social personality disorder, in some it is 'only' every fourth. Anyway that is sky high. So basically in every support group for gamblers, there are several who have ASPD or are psychopaths. That would be statiscally true even if you would think that ASPD people with gambling problems would be less likely to seek help. In non-professional, non-governered, autonomous groups, that sounds like a big risk factor for me. My difficult child is certainly not an angel, but he is far from being able to deal with that kind of people either. And let's face it, if things difficult child tells me are even close to objective truth this group sounds like it has gone bit awry. Especially this sponsor stuff. And that is why I asked. I of course have read GA (and AA9 webpages, but those are not so informative in these types of things. [/QUOTE]
Insert quotes…
Verification
Post reply
Forums
Parent Support Forums
Substance Abuse
Sponsor system in 'x' Anonymous. Can someone enlighten me?
Top