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Spouse First? (read second please)
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<blockquote data-quote="Nomad" data-source="post: 141247"><p>I think those women in the article have their priorities right.</p><p> </p><p>I have also heard of late that having a spouse or a significant other is what people tend to rate as their top priority in terms of happiness. I know it is for me, but I think this is largely because I have been blessed (knock on wood, thanking G-d and the Universe and throwing salt over my shoulder) a good spouse.</p><p> </p><p>I think for folks who have not been similarly blessed, it might be a good idea to gather their support and good experiences from relationships with other adults. I have a friend who was divorced a few years ago. It was extraordinarily hard at first, but she is now very happily involved with several groups of adult friends and she goes out all the time to the theater etc. Perhaps in time, one special relationship will emerge, but in the mean time, she has formed several fun and exciting ones.</p><p> </p><p>I agree with the other poster who said that experts say to always put the spouse first. Bottom line, the children will always leave and then what will you have left if you have not nurtured that relationship?</p><p> </p><p>It is good and healthy to look toward other adults for adult compionship (assuming a spouse is not in the picture). Often this is a romantic experience, but it doesn't necessarily have to be this way.</p><p> </p><p>There was a period of time, when my children were younger, that they came probably "even" in terms of importance/closeness to my relationship with my husband. This sometimes was a conflict. Of course, everything is a little confusing when there is a difficult child in the picture.</p><p> </p><p>I think if I were a single woman dating with children...this would be a hard one to process. Generally speaking, especially if my children were on the young side, I would put the children first. However, I would probably be willing to even things up if I were engaged and my fiance was helping me at times with the children. </p><p> </p><p>It's easier for me of late now that my children are older and I expect them to do as best as they are able to live independent lives. I still greatly and genuinely enjoy their company, but I'm enjoying exploring other interests. For me, husband comes first and my children are a close second and I've always done my best to see it this way.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Nomad, post: 141247"] I think those women in the article have their priorities right. I have also heard of late that having a spouse or a significant other is what people tend to rate as their top priority in terms of happiness. I know it is for me, but I think this is largely because I have been blessed (knock on wood, thanking G-d and the Universe and throwing salt over my shoulder) a good spouse. I think for folks who have not been similarly blessed, it might be a good idea to gather their support and good experiences from relationships with other adults. I have a friend who was divorced a few years ago. It was extraordinarily hard at first, but she is now very happily involved with several groups of adult friends and she goes out all the time to the theater etc. Perhaps in time, one special relationship will emerge, but in the mean time, she has formed several fun and exciting ones. I agree with the other poster who said that experts say to always put the spouse first. Bottom line, the children will always leave and then what will you have left if you have not nurtured that relationship? It is good and healthy to look toward other adults for adult compionship (assuming a spouse is not in the picture). Often this is a romantic experience, but it doesn't necessarily have to be this way. There was a period of time, when my children were younger, that they came probably "even" in terms of importance/closeness to my relationship with my husband. This sometimes was a conflict. Of course, everything is a little confusing when there is a difficult child in the picture. I think if I were a single woman dating with children...this would be a hard one to process. Generally speaking, especially if my children were on the young side, I would put the children first. However, I would probably be willing to even things up if I were engaged and my fiance was helping me at times with the children. It's easier for me of late now that my children are older and I expect them to do as best as they are able to live independent lives. I still greatly and genuinely enjoy their company, but I'm enjoying exploring other interests. For me, husband comes first and my children are a close second and I've always done my best to see it this way. [/QUOTE]
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