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spreading his wings
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<blockquote data-quote="amstrong" data-source="post: 47105" data-attributes="member: 3266"><p>Barbara, thanks for that. Right now, husband and I are having a tiff-imagine that! Everytime we try to have a discussion about this, he gets all gruff and states how it is gonna be and then I get my back up because I feel like I have no say. When I try to say something other than his way, then he says he has no say and gets his back up. It is a vicious cycle! When we get to this point, he, as always, will say,that if we cannot agree, maybe we need to go our separate ways, me with my son and he on his own. Or he will say, fine you just do what you want and I want nothing to do with difficult child. Both of these scenarios are unacceptable to me and both things are being said because he know it hurts me. He has admitted that, Even though I know that he does not mean either of them, it still hurt and then I get resentful. He refuses to go to marriage counseling with me and says that he doesn't have a problem but I do. I knida feel like it is our problem. I know difficult child is not his son and if he were that things would be different. </p><p></p><p>I am going to seek some counseling for me since it seems that everything I ever let go of has DEEP scratch marks in it.</p><p></p><p>I would love nothing better than to get away with husband but I am thinking at this juncture, it is not gonna happen. I have, in the past, asked if we can go and do something, out of town andhe always says yeah and never does anything about it and when I say, I will plan it if he can give me an idea of something he wants to do, he never seems interested.</p><p></p><p>I know I am whining and I hate whining. I am just feeling like everything i hold dear is crumbling around me.</p><p></p><p>I WILL get through it, like I always do but I have to let out my feelings somewhere-you you guys are the lucky ons!</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="amstrong, post: 47105, member: 3266"] Barbara, thanks for that. Right now, husband and I are having a tiff-imagine that! Everytime we try to have a discussion about this, he gets all gruff and states how it is gonna be and then I get my back up because I feel like I have no say. When I try to say something other than his way, then he says he has no say and gets his back up. It is a vicious cycle! When we get to this point, he, as always, will say,that if we cannot agree, maybe we need to go our separate ways, me with my son and he on his own. Or he will say, fine you just do what you want and I want nothing to do with difficult child. Both of these scenarios are unacceptable to me and both things are being said because he know it hurts me. He has admitted that, Even though I know that he does not mean either of them, it still hurt and then I get resentful. He refuses to go to marriage counseling with me and says that he doesn't have a problem but I do. I knida feel like it is our problem. I know difficult child is not his son and if he were that things would be different. I am going to seek some counseling for me since it seems that everything I ever let go of has DEEP scratch marks in it. I would love nothing better than to get away with husband but I am thinking at this juncture, it is not gonna happen. I have, in the past, asked if we can go and do something, out of town andhe always says yeah and never does anything about it and when I say, I will plan it if he can give me an idea of something he wants to do, he never seems interested. I know I am whining and I hate whining. I am just feeling like everything i hold dear is crumbling around me. I WILL get through it, like I always do but I have to let out my feelings somewhere-you you guys are the lucky ons! [/QUOTE]
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