What is it about the Spring that puts kids on edge? The bullying/harrassing seem to escalate or atleast the victims are at their limits and crush under the pressure. Unknown Summer schedules - even though the kids look forward to Summer, I do believe many are stressed not knowing what their Summer will bring or are just stressed with a change of schedule even if they are looking forward to the new one. Year end everythings starting to pop up leading to recognitions and broken hearts (sometimes displayed in anger, tears, and rages) of those not recognized. My difficult child hates Confirmation - the memory work is long and he is bored with having to listen to what he already knows. (Yes, he does know most of the stuff in a Catechism - not really enough new insights to keep him from being bored - like sending a 6th grader back to 3rd grade) I am not the most supportive in promoting memory work and because I refuse to put an importance on it, it is harder for him to commit to doing it. (No need for anyone to comment on this - I know if my stubborness over this wasn't here it may not be a problem but it is a person struggle I am dealing with in a larger picture) We have done it for the past 8 years from PK - 6th grade. Always in the car on the way to school. Now for Confirmation, we do not have the daily travels and finding a constant alternative time is near impossible. We talked this evening about a friend of difficult child who all of a sudden is not making it to school either on time or at all. He told difficult child that he is having a very hard time facing the school day. He also has a fresh Spring time memory of his father dying six years ago from a very painful cancer. His mom is struggling to find an in-home babysitter so his outlook on Summer is unclear. I also think he is struggling with the fact that difficult child will most likely have larger bike boundaries than him so there will be tensions but I am not going to hold difficult child back because this kid (same age) is not mature enough to be allowed the same priviledges as difficult child. I asked difficult child if kids were picking on his friend and he said no. Just that one person keeps "jolting" him (Hands on both sides and squeezing). I told difficult child that was harrassment. And we revisited the meaning of harrassment and bullying. I asked difficult child if anyone was harrassing him. He said no, just that one kid who he doesn't know keeps following him around complaining about someone else bugging him and asking difficult child for permission to beat up the other kid. difficult child says, "I told him no, he does not have permission to beat up anyone." Tonight as well as the last few weeks, difficult child has not done as well as normal in the Jr Rifle Club. He is putting too much pressure on himself to be the very best. He does not settle for one of the top kids in the club for his age (after only 3 months of membership). It is not good enough for him - he is a perfectionist, he has to be perfect. We had a serious talk that this activity was to be fun - no pressures but he is determined to go to National's to earn a scholarship. I told him that the scholarships are not important - it doesn't matter if he gets them. His focus on this sport is not to be the very best over everyone but to relax and have fun and be the best he can be for himself. His dad and I can care less if he ever gets a scholarship! And, he is too young to think about that anyway. I suggested that maybe we should back out of the State Tournament this year but it is complicated and he is not sure if he wants to. So, I told him that next week he is to clear him mind and focus only on each shot at a time. What comes before or after that shot does not matter, clear his mind of everything. He will go through the mock tournament next Tuesday night and based on his behavior (aka stress he puts on himself), we may make the decision to keep him from the state tournament this year. Now, I know that many many many people get stressed at tests and tournaments. My difficult child takes it to the too-much stress level. He works himself up so tight that he will never do well let alone show his potential. It is a hard concept for kids to learn that actions (failures and successes) do closely follow our attitude. If you are portraying an ugly attitude, you can not succeed. If your attitude is of failure, you will fail! difficult child has to learn how to deal with these emotions. I need to decide how much he can actually take. I don't want to take all the challenges away from him - he has to learn sometime. Then we get home and he falls apart. He has Confirmation tomorrow and states that he always feels terrible on Tuesday nights and during the school days on Wednesdays when he thinks about Confirmation. He says he can have a wonderful day and then when he remembers Confirmation it ruins everything. He states he mostly remembers during the rounds of shooting when he is suppose to be thinking about what he is doing. His mind wanders and "boom" Confirmation and "boom" feeling terrible and "boom" no matter what he is doing will go down hill. Tonight's melt down was very healthy for him. He was able to vent about what was really bugging him. He doesn't want to let his Dad down! His Dad has NEVER put pressure on him to be perfect at anything. His dad has NEVER indicated any disappointment in something less than perfect. His dad does have appropriate expectations for difficult child that should not be putting difficult child into this state of mind. difficult child's perfectionistic thinking takes over at times. He has to learn that his dad is not looking for him to be perfect. I think he just admires his dad so much that it is natural to want to gain his utmost praise. Looks like we have something new for him to work on with the psychiatrist. I know some may think I am pushing him too much, that I should drop something. However, he will face these emotions all his life in whatever activity he does. His perfectionist personality will always appear that he is being pushed. I refuse to keep him locked up at home to avoid these year end emotions. He needs to learn what they are about and how to handle them. He needs to live through less then perfection and learn that it is not failure. He only has bowling and Jr Rifle Club - I don't think two activites are too much - The Rifle Club is only once per week and the leagues for bowling are only once per week. He can bowl on his own as much as he wants. Most other sports call for an endless schedule of practices and actual games - he would have to face so much more of this if he was involved in other sports. Bowling and Jr Rifle Club stay for now! When he came to say goodnight, he stated he felt like he did before the panic attacks. I have a feeling that his deep anxiety has always remained and that he has gotten very good control over it but it rises its ugly head from time to time to remind us both that it is still there. I have a tendency to forget about it because things go so well and I am no longer seeing it every day. He still has to deal with it his entire life and continue to recognize it. Together we will figure out how to recognize these relapses and how best to deal with them. I have a feeling that Spring Time Stressers will tease difficult child's anxiety out of hiding! However, he has the tools he needs to beat it back into submission and I have a few more years before he is out on his own to watch how he handles these stressers and guide him through as needed. Everything we do together while he is still young and at home will give him more tools to know what to do when he is on his own and these scary feelings of anxiety arise. And detaching for me is to not patch these "losses" over. I refuse to look for an alternative way to make him feel good about things but instead use these "losses" to make him look at what is really important. He enjoyed seven fun months of bowling, even the year end tournament was fun so WHY is he upset over the one game/tournament he did not win a recognition from? Was that REALLY the point of the whole year?