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St Patrick’s Day
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<blockquote data-quote="healinginside" data-source="post: 764916" data-attributes="member: 29962"><p>Hi Newlife,</p><p></p><p>I find mornings are the hardest when I am facing any type of grief. Mornings and the middle of the night. I think we are always at our weakest when we first wake up and then there are those mornings on special days where we just can't get past it and it feels like there is a grey cloud over the day. I'm so sorry you had to feel like this today. My heart goes out to you. It's as though we are in jail - a mental jail over this. </p><p></p><p>It's hard to be in a festive St. Patty's Day mood when you are thinking and grieving these things from the past (and the present).</p><p></p><p>While it doesn't feel good doing the right thing for our kids, we all know that everything that we've done so far hasn't helped. And why is it that if we don't give a lifeline, will the world fall apart? I know life will go on one day when I am gone, but why does it have to suck the life out of me while I am here? </p><p></p><p>Did you ever see that gameshow from many years ago called, "The Weakest Link"? There was a British woman I believe who would tell the loser of the game show, "You ARE the weakest link"!!! Well, the last few days I keep imagining her telling ME that because I AM the weakest link and my son knows it. And he has used it against me and manipulated me worse than anyone in the world. </p><p></p><p>One thing that I've noticed has come true though that many on this board told me would happen - he is sober and sounds more like himself. Today he was having some mental health struggles (I could tell). It is always so scary when that happens. I think I hope that the mental issues will just magically go away. He didn't have them growing up and they slowly blossomed with marijuana use - why can't they as suddenly leave?</p><p></p><p>For your daughter's birthday, I wish you strength, rest, a clear head, and peace. I will remember you in my prayers.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="healinginside, post: 764916, member: 29962"] Hi Newlife, I find mornings are the hardest when I am facing any type of grief. Mornings and the middle of the night. I think we are always at our weakest when we first wake up and then there are those mornings on special days where we just can't get past it and it feels like there is a grey cloud over the day. I'm so sorry you had to feel like this today. My heart goes out to you. It's as though we are in jail - a mental jail over this. It's hard to be in a festive St. Patty's Day mood when you are thinking and grieving these things from the past (and the present). While it doesn't feel good doing the right thing for our kids, we all know that everything that we've done so far hasn't helped. And why is it that if we don't give a lifeline, will the world fall apart? I know life will go on one day when I am gone, but why does it have to suck the life out of me while I am here? Did you ever see that gameshow from many years ago called, "The Weakest Link"? There was a British woman I believe who would tell the loser of the game show, "You ARE the weakest link"!!! Well, the last few days I keep imagining her telling ME that because I AM the weakest link and my son knows it. And he has used it against me and manipulated me worse than anyone in the world. One thing that I've noticed has come true though that many on this board told me would happen - he is sober and sounds more like himself. Today he was having some mental health struggles (I could tell). It is always so scary when that happens. I think I hope that the mental issues will just magically go away. He didn't have them growing up and they slowly blossomed with marijuana use - why can't they as suddenly leave? For your daughter's birthday, I wish you strength, rest, a clear head, and peace. I will remember you in my prayers. [/QUOTE]
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