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<blockquote data-quote="mom_to_3" data-source="post: 170163" data-attributes="member: 30"><p>I'm not trying to be rude, but WHY do you feel the need to even write a letter? Isn't your son 24 yrs. old? This reasoning is very confusing. Your son does not need a letter written for him like an elementary school age little boy. The judge will not just send him to your house if you have not written to him or if you are not in that court room! They just don't do that. </p><p></p><p>My adult age difficult child has been before a judge a couple of times. I did not go with her, nor did I write to the judge, because I had no part in any of it and <strong>did NOT want to be a part of it.</strong> I did not teach my difficult child to break the law and I certainly was not going to be a part of her support system while she faced her consequences.</p><p></p><p>Susan, is it your family custom to stay involved in every aspect of your childrens life? I guess this is the only reason I could see motivating you to do this. It is unhealthy. </p><p></p><p>One thing I remember my father telling us as children that I remember to this day and have used on my children is "I'll support you and back you 100&#37; if you are in the right." If you choose to break the law, you can face the consequences alone." As a minor, we would not have been left to walk alone, but as adults............ alone as alone could get.</p><p></p><p>Susan, your son has a long walk ahead of him. One he needs to take alone. One only he can only accomplish alone. He has to learn that his drug addicted ways are unhealthy for him and aothers and are illegal. Let him learn that. Alone. </p><p></p><p>Hugs for your mothers heart.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="mom_to_3, post: 170163, member: 30"] I'm not trying to be rude, but WHY do you feel the need to even write a letter? Isn't your son 24 yrs. old? This reasoning is very confusing. Your son does not need a letter written for him like an elementary school age little boy. The judge will not just send him to your house if you have not written to him or if you are not in that court room! They just don't do that. My adult age difficult child has been before a judge a couple of times. I did not go with her, nor did I write to the judge, because I had no part in any of it and [B]did NOT want to be a part of it.[/B] I did not teach my difficult child to break the law and I certainly was not going to be a part of her support system while she faced her consequences. Susan, is it your family custom to stay involved in every aspect of your childrens life? I guess this is the only reason I could see motivating you to do this. It is unhealthy. One thing I remember my father telling us as children that I remember to this day and have used on my children is "I'll support you and back you 100% if you are in the right." If you choose to break the law, you can face the consequences alone." As a minor, we would not have been left to walk alone, but as adults............ alone as alone could get. Susan, your son has a long walk ahead of him. One he needs to take alone. One only he can only accomplish alone. He has to learn that his drug addicted ways are unhealthy for him and aothers and are illegal. Let him learn that. Alone. Hugs for your mothers heart. [/QUOTE]
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