KFld
New Member
I think that is what is happening and It's scareing me. I know that is what I wanted when I left my house because it wasn't happening there, but now I feel it coming and I feel I have no control over the time and places it hits.
I don't know if I told you all that the very first night I slept in my house, my daughter and her boyfriend went and rented a movie called two weeks, with Sally Field. For those of you who haven't seen it, she plays a women dying of cancer and hospice comes into her home. I won't tell you anything else, except that she played this part amazingly and I felt I was sitting in my mothers room at hospice. It was very ironic that she picked that movie, not knowing what it was really about, the first night in our new house. Also the first night I even decided I was moving out, when I went to bed that night the vision of my mother in the hospital came into my head and I spent a lot of time that night thinking about it. My counselor told me my life had been thrown up in the air, dropped in pieces and I had to pick them up one piece at a time. I think the fact that I had made a decision to move out left room for me to deal with something else that night.
Now that I'm pretty settled in my apartment and I'm spending some time there alone, I am beginning to grieve the loss of my 27 year marriage, my home that I lived in for 23 years and the loss of my mother all at once. The anger over his affair is really starting to kick in more and more also, along with the timing of when he did it and his ability to yet move into another new relationship so quickly. I guess he doesn't feel the need to deal with any of this as I do, but like someone said, men replace, women grieve. Sounds pretty right in this story.
I know all of this has to be done, but I'm not looking forward to it. I go to counseling on Wednesday and I think I am going to be more then ready for it by then.
Thanks to all of you for listening to me and being there for me, even though you don't always tell me what I want to hear, but I know that could be a good thing.
I don't know if I told you all that the very first night I slept in my house, my daughter and her boyfriend went and rented a movie called two weeks, with Sally Field. For those of you who haven't seen it, she plays a women dying of cancer and hospice comes into her home. I won't tell you anything else, except that she played this part amazingly and I felt I was sitting in my mothers room at hospice. It was very ironic that she picked that movie, not knowing what it was really about, the first night in our new house. Also the first night I even decided I was moving out, when I went to bed that night the vision of my mother in the hospital came into my head and I spent a lot of time that night thinking about it. My counselor told me my life had been thrown up in the air, dropped in pieces and I had to pick them up one piece at a time. I think the fact that I had made a decision to move out left room for me to deal with something else that night.
Now that I'm pretty settled in my apartment and I'm spending some time there alone, I am beginning to grieve the loss of my 27 year marriage, my home that I lived in for 23 years and the loss of my mother all at once. The anger over his affair is really starting to kick in more and more also, along with the timing of when he did it and his ability to yet move into another new relationship so quickly. I guess he doesn't feel the need to deal with any of this as I do, but like someone said, men replace, women grieve. Sounds pretty right in this story.
I know all of this has to be done, but I'm not looking forward to it. I go to counseling on Wednesday and I think I am going to be more then ready for it by then.
Thanks to all of you for listening to me and being there for me, even though you don't always tell me what I want to hear, but I know that could be a good thing.
