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Substance Abuse
Staying detached while tethered....
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<blockquote data-quote="toughlovin" data-source="post: 688011" data-attributes="member: 15801"><p>I think it is a process and a balancing act. I know there are ways I enable my son and at times help him too much. Other times though I think it is an act of love and letting him know I love him is a good thing. Sometimes I think the only thing that has kept him from becoming a hardened criminal is the love of his mother!</p><p></p><p>And I also get that sometimes we have to let ourselves have sleepless nights because enabling him is clearly the wrong thing to do. I had many sleepless nights when my son was on the streets.... But at the time he was doing nothing to help himself and I was not about to get him an apartment or pay for a hotel or anything like that. I did get him a sleeping bag. I also was not going to let him live at home. </p><p></p><p>So to me it is a balancing act between figuring out what is best for them and what is best for me. I think letting my kid be on the streets was the best thing I could do at the time.... Eventually he wanted to come in from the cold and was willing to go to treatment. This time around making it clear I would not pay for his sober living if he didn't continue with IOP got him to go back to IOP and figure out a plan.... I don't know for sure if he stayed sober the whole time but he didn't have a fall apart, get kicked out of sober living etc etc relapse.... So he is making progress.</p><p></p><p>I will also say that although he has relapsed several times, with our unwitting help, those relapses have gotten him to realize he has a serious problem. So he is way ahead of where he was in the past. At least now he admits he has an addiction problem and really can not just drink moderately. That is huge.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="toughlovin, post: 688011, member: 15801"] I think it is a process and a balancing act. I know there are ways I enable my son and at times help him too much. Other times though I think it is an act of love and letting him know I love him is a good thing. Sometimes I think the only thing that has kept him from becoming a hardened criminal is the love of his mother! And I also get that sometimes we have to let ourselves have sleepless nights because enabling him is clearly the wrong thing to do. I had many sleepless nights when my son was on the streets.... But at the time he was doing nothing to help himself and I was not about to get him an apartment or pay for a hotel or anything like that. I did get him a sleeping bag. I also was not going to let him live at home. So to me it is a balancing act between figuring out what is best for them and what is best for me. I think letting my kid be on the streets was the best thing I could do at the time.... Eventually he wanted to come in from the cold and was willing to go to treatment. This time around making it clear I would not pay for his sober living if he didn't continue with IOP got him to go back to IOP and figure out a plan.... I don't know for sure if he stayed sober the whole time but he didn't have a fall apart, get kicked out of sober living etc etc relapse.... So he is making progress. I will also say that although he has relapsed several times, with our unwitting help, those relapses have gotten him to realize he has a serious problem. So he is way ahead of where he was in the past. At least now he admits he has an addiction problem and really can not just drink moderately. That is huge. [/QUOTE]
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Staying detached while tethered....
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