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<blockquote data-quote="BusynMember" data-source="post: 645245" data-attributes="member: 1550"><p>Probable translation:</p><p>He bought drugs and owed the dealers (my daughter went through this). He sold his things for drugs or to pay the dealers.</p><p></p><p>From now on I would never buy him anything. If you feel the urge to get him gifts, he is safest getting $20 gift cards that can't be changed into money, a few at a time. Something drug dealers don't want and pawn shops won't take. You can also buy socks, tooth paste, a cheap towel, a hat (not that he will wear it), cheap t-shirts and other things of no value. Never cash. Never expensive gear. If you buy boots, get them at Walmart on sale. Again, he probably will not wear them. Everything under $10 is a good thing. If you buy him top notch Columbia snow boots, he will sell them for $$$, for example and probably never even put them on. Our difficult children are WEIRD about not seeming to worry about the cold. Maybe they have good warm places to sleep that we don't know about. They sure won't tell us. That would keep us off edge and they want us on edge so we'll send the money.</p><p></p><p>But anything you give him that is worthwhile will probably be pawned somehow, in some way, on drugs. Expect his excuse to be that somebody stole the things from him. I heard that enough times to make me want to permanently destroy my hearing. If you are "iffy" on whether or not he is on drugs, all I can tell you is he is acting exactly like my daughter when she did cocaine, meth and psychedelics. And she made deals with devils (aka drug dealers) who threatened her life. But she, of course, told us she only smoked pot sometimes and never mentioned the drug dealers.</p><p></p><p>Like the naive, denial-prone idiot I was I believed she only smoked pot and even that scared me, but nothing like it would have scared me if I'd known the truth. They all cop to pot. They don't cop to the other stuff. And then we are shocked when we find out. If we do. I seriously hope you don't. but ya don't go to pawn shops for pot. It's way easy to get.</p><p></p><p>The best thing that ever happened to her was to move out of state with a relative. It was there that she could finally quit without pressure of her (cough) "friends" doing all they could to keep her going. Misery LOVES company. She DID quit.</p><p></p><p>My daughter was diagnosed with bipolar as well. Funnily, once she stopped using drugs, her moodswings and raging also stopped and it has been over ten years...she obviously is not bipolar or in any way mentally ill. Be careful...it is hard to get a correct diagnosis while somebody is using drugs.</p><p></p><p>I hope you a happy ending too and, in the meantime, be careful about what you give him. And take care of yourself too. I think Al-Anon rocks the boat for coping skills, support, and the price is right. I hope you take care of you during these nightmarish times.</p><p></p><p>Hugs for your hurting heart.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="BusynMember, post: 645245, member: 1550"] Probable translation: He bought drugs and owed the dealers (my daughter went through this). He sold his things for drugs or to pay the dealers. From now on I would never buy him anything. If you feel the urge to get him gifts, he is safest getting $20 gift cards that can't be changed into money, a few at a time. Something drug dealers don't want and pawn shops won't take. You can also buy socks, tooth paste, a cheap towel, a hat (not that he will wear it), cheap t-shirts and other things of no value. Never cash. Never expensive gear. If you buy boots, get them at Walmart on sale. Again, he probably will not wear them. Everything under $10 is a good thing. If you buy him top notch Columbia snow boots, he will sell them for $$$, for example and probably never even put them on. Our difficult children are WEIRD about not seeming to worry about the cold. Maybe they have good warm places to sleep that we don't know about. They sure won't tell us. That would keep us off edge and they want us on edge so we'll send the money. But anything you give him that is worthwhile will probably be pawned somehow, in some way, on drugs. Expect his excuse to be that somebody stole the things from him. I heard that enough times to make me want to permanently destroy my hearing. If you are "iffy" on whether or not he is on drugs, all I can tell you is he is acting exactly like my daughter when she did cocaine, meth and psychedelics. And she made deals with devils (aka drug dealers) who threatened her life. But she, of course, told us she only smoked pot sometimes and never mentioned the drug dealers. Like the naive, denial-prone idiot I was I believed she only smoked pot and even that scared me, but nothing like it would have scared me if I'd known the truth. They all cop to pot. They don't cop to the other stuff. And then we are shocked when we find out. If we do. I seriously hope you don't. but ya don't go to pawn shops for pot. It's way easy to get. The best thing that ever happened to her was to move out of state with a relative. It was there that she could finally quit without pressure of her (cough) "friends" doing all they could to keep her going. Misery LOVES company. She DID quit. My daughter was diagnosed with bipolar as well. Funnily, once she stopped using drugs, her moodswings and raging also stopped and it has been over ten years...she obviously is not bipolar or in any way mentally ill. Be careful...it is hard to get a correct diagnosis while somebody is using drugs. I hope you a happy ending too and, in the meantime, be careful about what you give him. And take care of yourself too. I think Al-Anon rocks the boat for coping skills, support, and the price is right. I hope you take care of you during these nightmarish times. Hugs for your hurting heart. [/QUOTE]
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