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Stealing
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<blockquote data-quote="Nancy" data-source="post: 569237" data-attributes="member: 59"><p>I'm glad you took it back, just wish you could have gotten him to go with you. If this is the first instance I wouldn;t be overly concerned but if this has happened before it would cause me to give pause. My difficult child did steal when she was young a few times and I made her go back with me to return it and apologize. She is still stealing and in fact was arrested two months ago for shoplifting. In my heart I believe she will steal all her life. I have no faith that even with the arrest and community service she has to do and the record she now has that she has learned her lesson. I believe there is something in her genes that causes her to have different values than the rest of our family. She has stolen from us many times and the only reason she doesn;t any longer is because she no longer lives here. But I wouldn't ever trust her alone with anything of value.</p><p></p><p>I don't say this to cause you alarm, but you adopted your difficult child also and there are genetic properties at work here that even the best of parenting cannot overcome. I truly hope it is a phase but I would watch him crefully.</p><p></p><p>My easy child is a kindergarten teacher and for the past two weeks she has had things in her classroom go missing. Mostly it was big bags of candy that she bought with her own money as rewards for the kids. Finally yesterday she found out it was one of her students who always went last in the dismissal line. He had a $12 bag of M&M's in his bookbag that she had behind her desk. He has an older brother and when the principal asked him if he knew he was taking it he said well he wondered where he was getting all this stuff. She asked him if their mother knew and he said yes and that she told him he better stop before he gets caught. Not stop because it was wrong or make him give it back, but stop before he gets caught. And sadly this young child will probably continue stealing all his life. </p><p></p><p>Stealing is so much against my values that it made me very upset when I found out difficult child was stealing. I did everything I could to teach her that was wrong but I couldn't.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Nancy, post: 569237, member: 59"] I'm glad you took it back, just wish you could have gotten him to go with you. If this is the first instance I wouldn;t be overly concerned but if this has happened before it would cause me to give pause. My difficult child did steal when she was young a few times and I made her go back with me to return it and apologize. She is still stealing and in fact was arrested two months ago for shoplifting. In my heart I believe she will steal all her life. I have no faith that even with the arrest and community service she has to do and the record she now has that she has learned her lesson. I believe there is something in her genes that causes her to have different values than the rest of our family. She has stolen from us many times and the only reason she doesn;t any longer is because she no longer lives here. But I wouldn't ever trust her alone with anything of value. I don't say this to cause you alarm, but you adopted your difficult child also and there are genetic properties at work here that even the best of parenting cannot overcome. I truly hope it is a phase but I would watch him crefully. My easy child is a kindergarten teacher and for the past two weeks she has had things in her classroom go missing. Mostly it was big bags of candy that she bought with her own money as rewards for the kids. Finally yesterday she found out it was one of her students who always went last in the dismissal line. He had a $12 bag of M&M's in his bookbag that she had behind her desk. He has an older brother and when the principal asked him if he knew he was taking it he said well he wondered where he was getting all this stuff. She asked him if their mother knew and he said yes and that she told him he better stop before he gets caught. Not stop because it was wrong or make him give it back, but stop before he gets caught. And sadly this young child will probably continue stealing all his life. Stealing is so much against my values that it made me very upset when I found out difficult child was stealing. I did everything I could to teach her that was wrong but I couldn't. [/QUOTE]
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