Discussion in 'General Parenting' started by nvts, Aug 26, 2008.

  1. nvts

    nvts Active Member

    How's he doing this morning? Did you take him to the hospital? I've been praying throughout the night for you guys and was hoping that all was ok.

    By the way, screw your boss. I'm ready to come out there and kick some butt with those clowns. I swear they've got a lot of nerve.

    Please give us an update - we're all on the edge of our seats worrying!

    Stay strong!

  2. Steely

    Steely Active Member

    I still don't know what to do. I thought things were calming down, and then he started in with the suicide talk at 5am this morning. His doctor says to go to the hospital for a physical, but I really think he is out of the woods physically, and there is nothing a phosph can do for him in my opinion, unless he continues to be a danger. I took off work this morning, and will be with him - and then the plan is for his dad to be with him for 2 days and never let him out of his sight. I don't know if I am doing the right thing or not. Every person in the world would tell him to go to phosph...........but until you have lived it over and over and seen how useless and traumatic it is for all suddenly does not become such a good option.

    His dad tends to come through for me on these crisis, and really helps Matt re-think and re-organize. It is the only thing he is good for.

    Work was great today. Maybe it was because I was in tears that my boss hugged me and said go home.

    I am worried I am headed for a nervous breakdown. I mean, this is all too much for one person. What on earth can god's plan be?
    But I am even more worried that Matt is headed for a nervous breakdown. Crying, sobbing, talking about the pain in his heart so big he just can't take it anymore.

    What else can I do besides phopsh? What other options are there to help a kid get his life straight? He is just so depressed, and freaking out that he is soon 18 and has no education, no job, nothing.............I have to be the one to help him figure this out..........or I am afraid he will end it all.
  3. So Tired

    So Tired Member

    Steely, I'm so sorry and so worried for you and your son. Is there anyone who can come over and give you some help? Even if it's just a hug?

    It is so scary to watch them spin out of control and not know what to do -- how to help them. I'm glad his father may be able to "get through" to him and help him calm down.

    Our thoughts and prayers are with you.
  4. slsh

    slsh member since 1999

    Steely, I'm going to be really blunt here. Your son has been voicing suicidal thoughts repeatedly for ... what, at least 24 hours? I'm sorry but he needs to be admitted, period.

    I understand completely how totally fruitless repeated admissions can feel, but in my humble opinion, from what you are describing, admission would simply to make sure that Matt is safe. It is not to help him get his life on track, it is not to address the bigger issues that are going on. It is to keep Matt safe. And get him stabilized so that the other issues can be addressed down the road.

    Is Dad planning on not sleeping for the next 2 days? Matt needs 24/7 eyes-on supervision in an environment that contains absolutely no possibility for self-harm in my humble opinion.

    Just my been there done that opinion.
  5. nvts

    nvts Active Member

    Honey! I've gotta agree with Sue. He needs to go in. Think of the whole picture here - both of you are on the verge of a nervous breakdown - how much help are either one of you going to be if the other is a mess?

    See if you can get him admitted and then let him worry about turning 18 without his education and whatever is impacting him. This could be a million things from mourning his childhood, missing H, realizing more and more of the nasty stuff at the hands of loved ones, NO ONE KNOWS! Not even him right now.

    I know if feels futile - but I'm also going to be blunt - you've been going through a nightmare of "what ifs" with the other things in your life - are you willing to add another one to the list?

    I'm getting really, really scared for you guys - please consider this - please!

  6. I agree with Sue and NVTS, I know you think admitting him to psychiatric hospital is futile. BUT he needs the supervision right now and he is on the verge of a breakdown and you said you are yourself. You need to think of yourself too. You have been going through so much already with stresses from work. What good are you going to do your son, if you have a breakdown? You need to let the professionals help him.

    Sending major hugs,

  7. busywend

    busywend Well-Known Member Staff Member

    Steely, as fruitless as it all will at least be a relief for you to know he is safe at the psychiatric hospital. He in my humble opinion already attempted a sucide by taking your pills. If you do not take him to the hospital, I consider it neglect.
    If you were an outsider that did not have the psychiatric hospital experiences you have would say it was neglectful as well.

    HUGS! I know this is difficult!
  8. smallworld

    smallworld Moderator

    Steely, I agree with everyone else. Your son took an overdose of Klonopin. A normal dose can cause disinhibition in a child with a mood disorder. Imagine what an overdose is doing to your son. Please get him admitted ASAP so he can be safe.
  9. terryboberry

    terryboberry New Member


    You son has said and done everything he can to tell you he needs help. Thank him for telling you. If he hadn't shown you how desperate he feels, he may have already suicided.

    Please let him know how much you love him by bringing him to a psychiatric hospital to keep him safe. It may not be what you want steely, but he's telling you he hurts and needs help. You have the chance to help him now. When he's a legal adult it will be much more complicated. I really do know how hard this is.

    I'm sending lots of prayers and light,
  10. KTMom91

    KTMom91 Well-Known Member

    I have to agree with the others, Steely. He needs the supervision. Once he's 18, your options are limited with getting him help. Please take him in.

    Sending lots of prayers.
  11. Christy

    Christy New Member

    Sending hugs. Sorry you are facing this. It seems like psychiatric hospital is a necessity at this point. His safety is a significant concern.

    You and your are in my thoughts and prayers.
  12. totoro

    totoro Mom? What's a GFG?

    I have sat here with tears, last night going over and over what you are going through. Wishing an easy option would just jump out at me. I hate that you are in this situation.
    I just want to send you hope. I have some extra right now. The offer still stands.
  13. luvmyottb

    luvmyottb Guest

    Hugs and prayers to you. I know you wish you could heal his heart. I am worried for you and hope you can get the help difficult child needs.
  14. Estherfromjerusalem

    Estherfromjerusalem Well-Known Member

    Steely, I just wanted you to know that my thoughts and prayers are with you at this time.

    Love, Esther
  15. TerryJ2

    TerryJ2 Well-Known Member

    Steely, I've been thinking about you and your son.
    I am SO glad your husband has come through for you.
    AND that your boss gave you a hug. Way To Go! There's a first time for everything.
    I don't know what to say about the ER. Most people here have said to take him in, but you've decided to keep him with-your husband so I will keep my fingers crossed. Does your son talk about any specific method, or just that he wants out of the pain he's in? Is that why he took your medications to begin with?

    Do you have a friend who can come over to spend an hr or two just with-you?
  16. susiestar

    susiestar Roll With It


    I will keep you and difficult child in my prayers. I hope that having him with exdh helps him (and you - you have so much on your shoulders right now.) Follow your instincts, they rarely steer you the wrong way.

    Sending very gentle hugs and lots of love,

  17. OpenWindow

    OpenWindow Active Member


    Sending prayers and hugs to you and your son.

  18. witzend

    witzend Well-Known Member

    Steely, does he have any hobbies or interests at all? It would be great if he had something to aspire to and to be proud of. Is there an opportunity that he could volunteer for? I know that it isn't a paying job, but that doesn't mean it isn't a need that he can fill and be proud of. It wouldn't even have to be something that he volunteered for on a scheduled basis, but on an as needed basis or a one time basis? Just something for him feel needed.

    I was listening to NPR last week, I can't remember which program it was. The man who was talking was a doctor doing a sociological study of some sort in Nepal, I think. Someplace we think of as far away and very different from us. I had tuned in late, so the details escaped me.

    But one of the things he spoke about that struck me was that everyone -everyone - in the village had a job and was appreciated. He spoke of man in his twenties who was developmentally disabled in some way. His "job" or place in the community was to gather firewood and water, that type of unskilled labor. No one made fun of him and he was appreciated. His friends and family loved him and he was an asset to the village.

    I felt that his point was that when someone values you and what you have to offer, it gives you a reason to value yourself. Can M do some work at a vet or animal shelter, or maybe a library or daycare could use some help with maintenance or filing or envelope stuffing? He's almost 18 years old, is there a political candidate or party that he would like to volunteer for doing photocopies or anything like that? There would be other kids his age there, I'm sure. There's nothing like being appreciated to build self confidence. And maybe if you weren't so worried about him, you would feel better about yourself, too.