Step.....how is MegaBean doing?
- Thread starter busywend
- Start date
SearchingForRainbows
Active Member
Step,
Thank you so much for sharing another picture of Megabean. She is so precious, so adorable...!! I love how alert she is. Wish I could reach right through that picture, pick her up, cuddle her.
As others have said, what works for one person might not work for another. I've always believed that whatever works is the right way. I tried as hard as hard and as long as I could to breastfeed difficult child 1. Even with supplemental bottle feedings, it just wasn't working for us. I switched to total formula. When difficult child 2 was born, (they're almost exactly a year apart,) I decided to start him on formula from the beginning. easy child/difficult child 3 was born two years after difficult child 2. She grew up on formula too. My BFF has four daughters, three of them close together in age. She breastfed all four of them, pumping and freezing breast milk so others could feed them when she had to go to work. None of them were supplemented with formula.
I think it's hardest with your first because no matter how prepared you think you are, having a newborn, while the most beautiful gift in the world, is also very difficult. Newborns are unpredictable, need constant attention, even when you're totally exhausted, not feeling well, etc... It's impossible, to be at your best 24/7 no matter how much you love your child. You are not superwoman!!
Right before our vacation, husband and I went out for dinner. Sitting directly beside us was a couple with a newborn. No sooner had they ordered, then he started crying. His mother tried everything to calm him, nothing worked. Finally his dad picked him up, stood up, tried rocking him in his arms, shifting his weight from foot to foot. The baby kept right on crying. As soon as their dinner arrived, they asked the server to box it up so they could take it home. I bet before they decided to try eating out, their son had been fed, burped, changed, was sleeping peacefully. They probably thought they had a couple of hours before he would wake up. SURPRISE...!
Be easy with yourself. Even if you think you aren't tired, try to rest whenever Megabean is sleeping. Take a long hot shower or bath, read a good book, watch a movie, etc... Try to take care of yourself the best you can whenever you can. I think "me" time is more important than ever now.
As far as thinking about the "what if's?," when difficult child 1 first started bottle feedings, I found a cat hair in one of his bottles. I called my BFF, a nurse in an intensive care newborn unit in a large hospital, frantic, all the what ifs I could think of popped into my head. I couldn't believe how careless I was to let a cat hair get into one of his bottles!! When my BFF heard the story, she started laughing, said not to worry about it, babies are much more resilient then I thought. She said her kids dropped their pacifiers and her husband used to hand them back to them, right from the floor. She was right, difficult child 1 didn't notice the added cat hair. By the time difficult child 2 was born, my standards had definitely taken a nose dive. By the time I had easy child/difficult child 3, difficult child 1 was helping me feed her...
Hope today is a good one for both you and Megabean... Hugs... SFR
Thank you so much for sharing another picture of Megabean. She is so precious, so adorable...!! I love how alert she is. Wish I could reach right through that picture, pick her up, cuddle her.
As others have said, what works for one person might not work for another. I've always believed that whatever works is the right way. I tried as hard as hard and as long as I could to breastfeed difficult child 1. Even with supplemental bottle feedings, it just wasn't working for us. I switched to total formula. When difficult child 2 was born, (they're almost exactly a year apart,) I decided to start him on formula from the beginning. easy child/difficult child 3 was born two years after difficult child 2. She grew up on formula too. My BFF has four daughters, three of them close together in age. She breastfed all four of them, pumping and freezing breast milk so others could feed them when she had to go to work. None of them were supplemented with formula.
I think it's hardest with your first because no matter how prepared you think you are, having a newborn, while the most beautiful gift in the world, is also very difficult. Newborns are unpredictable, need constant attention, even when you're totally exhausted, not feeling well, etc... It's impossible, to be at your best 24/7 no matter how much you love your child. You are not superwoman!!
Right before our vacation, husband and I went out for dinner. Sitting directly beside us was a couple with a newborn. No sooner had they ordered, then he started crying. His mother tried everything to calm him, nothing worked. Finally his dad picked him up, stood up, tried rocking him in his arms, shifting his weight from foot to foot. The baby kept right on crying. As soon as their dinner arrived, they asked the server to box it up so they could take it home. I bet before they decided to try eating out, their son had been fed, burped, changed, was sleeping peacefully. They probably thought they had a couple of hours before he would wake up. SURPRISE...!
Be easy with yourself. Even if you think you aren't tired, try to rest whenever Megabean is sleeping. Take a long hot shower or bath, read a good book, watch a movie, etc... Try to take care of yourself the best you can whenever you can. I think "me" time is more important than ever now.
As far as thinking about the "what if's?," when difficult child 1 first started bottle feedings, I found a cat hair in one of his bottles. I called my BFF, a nurse in an intensive care newborn unit in a large hospital, frantic, all the what ifs I could think of popped into my head. I couldn't believe how careless I was to let a cat hair get into one of his bottles!! When my BFF heard the story, she started laughing, said not to worry about it, babies are much more resilient then I thought. She said her kids dropped their pacifiers and her husband used to hand them back to them, right from the floor. She was right, difficult child 1 didn't notice the added cat hair. By the time difficult child 2 was born, my standards had definitely taken a nose dive. By the time I had easy child/difficult child 3, difficult child 1 was helping me feed her...
Hope today is a good one for both you and Megabean... Hugs... SFR
trinityroyal
Well-Known Member
Step, Meggie is just precious. Utterly snuggle-worthy. I'm so glad that she is bringing you peace and happiness, even through the depression. Sleep deprivation, the hormonal shifts, inefficient nursing, other children...it can all take a huge toll on you. Don't underestimate how much of a toll. Go easy on yourself.
As for the feedings, take it day by day and do what works best for you. easy child was The Hungriest Baby Ever and also really bad at nursing. Between the two of us, we were a hopelessly uncoordinated mess. He was too hungry to wait for my milk to come in or let down, and I lost the pregnancy weight so quickly that my supply never really did get established properly. Add to it lactose-intolerance and other allergies, and it was just a mess. At 6 weeks, I switched to formula exclusively and we were both much happier from that point on. Go with your instinct -- if it's working for you or you want to keep trying, then keep at it. But if it feels like a burden, then it's not quality time for you and Meggie.
The pain in the lower abdomen may be your uterus shrinking back to normal size. Although the hosptal tells you to expect "mild cramping", to me it felt more like a sharp tearing sensation combined with being punched hard. Hurt like H-E-double-hockey-sticks.
Sending many hugs,
Trinity
As for the feedings, take it day by day and do what works best for you. easy child was The Hungriest Baby Ever and also really bad at nursing. Between the two of us, we were a hopelessly uncoordinated mess. He was too hungry to wait for my milk to come in or let down, and I lost the pregnancy weight so quickly that my supply never really did get established properly. Add to it lactose-intolerance and other allergies, and it was just a mess. At 6 weeks, I switched to formula exclusively and we were both much happier from that point on. Go with your instinct -- if it's working for you or you want to keep trying, then keep at it. But if it feels like a burden, then it's not quality time for you and Meggie.
The pain in the lower abdomen may be your uterus shrinking back to normal size. Although the hosptal tells you to expect "mild cramping", to me it felt more like a sharp tearing sensation combined with being punched hard. Hurt like H-E-double-hockey-sticks.
Sending many hugs,
Trinity
AnnieO
Shooting from the Hip
I had very mild cramping, randomly but only a few times. No, this is on the surface, like I skinned the knees of my belly... Honestly, the physical part has been easier than I expected. (Except the extremely sore nipples.)
Now if I can just get everyone to quit expecting me to be superwoman, I might have a chance...
Hound dog
Nana's are Beautiful
I know when "colic" kicks in it's difficult to tune it out and relax. I spent 6 months with a screaming Travis who spewed formula across the room, literally, and never slept longer than 5-15 mins at a shot many hours apart and never at a time I could also lay down. I also had a 22 month old running around either wanting to help with her brother or wanting / needing a very exhausted sleep deprived Mommy's attention.
I dunno if I had PPD or not, I never had time to think about it, honestly. But I do know that somewhere in the middle of all that I truly understood how a mother could be brought to the limits of hurting her child just for quiet. Scared me to my very soul, I swear. But I was never so quick to judge after that either. When I reached that point I told Fred I had to go to work. I didn't care what the job was or the pay or the hours. I had to physically remove myself from Travis for a period of time each day. I also started my quest to find out the problem as well. (at 6months he weight less than he did at birth but his pediatrician doctor seemed to think that was all hunky dory!) There was no soothing Travis, due to the sensory autistic issues usually it only made it worse and the screaming louder more intense. To make it even worse, we were staying with the in laws so I'm thinking he's got to be driving them nuts at the very least.......and that I'm a horrid parent............ Until mother in law found me bawling in father in law's recliner one night a screaming Travis on my lap and told me to relax, he slept on his good ear and couldn't hear a thing and she took a tranquilizer and was out cold in short order every night. You'd be surprised at how much better that made me feel.
I remember it being the "in" thing to be able to "read" your infants cries as to what they need, every mom could do it they said.............Um, not this one. Not with easy child, not with any of them. I just went through the list of what it *might* be until I found out what it was, except with Travis. If he'd have been my first child?? I'd have thought myself so incompetent I'm not sure if I'd have had more. But then he had good sound physical reasons why he was so severe and if his pediatrician doctor had listened to me, it would have never gone on so darn long. Once the gastroenterologist was on board, the "colic" dropped off dramatically, as did spewing formula all over the rooms, me, and anyone within range.
I've seen you with Meggie, I've seen Meggie with you. You're doing just fine.
As the weeks pass you'll feel more and more comfortable and before you know it, it will be old hat.
My list was: 1. are they hungry? 2. dirty diaper 3. left over burp? 4. sleepy? 5. gas? 6. teething?
Oddly enough, left over burps were often the culprit. Fred was somewhat better at burping than me, which I never did figure out. lol If gas was really bad, I might do a bath in warm water to see if it helped move the gas along or at least had a relaxing effect.
Talk to your doctor about the Pervasive Developmental Disorder (PDD) and get their opinion, don't be miserable when there is no reason to be. Let them help you judge. As far as teens and a newborn?? I figured if they made it past the 3 month mark without being strangled at least once it's a good thing. lol
I dunno if I had PPD or not, I never had time to think about it, honestly. But I do know that somewhere in the middle of all that I truly understood how a mother could be brought to the limits of hurting her child just for quiet. Scared me to my very soul, I swear. But I was never so quick to judge after that either. When I reached that point I told Fred I had to go to work. I didn't care what the job was or the pay or the hours. I had to physically remove myself from Travis for a period of time each day. I also started my quest to find out the problem as well. (at 6months he weight less than he did at birth but his pediatrician doctor seemed to think that was all hunky dory!) There was no soothing Travis, due to the sensory autistic issues usually it only made it worse and the screaming louder more intense. To make it even worse, we were staying with the in laws so I'm thinking he's got to be driving them nuts at the very least.......and that I'm a horrid parent............ Until mother in law found me bawling in father in law's recliner one night a screaming Travis on my lap and told me to relax, he slept on his good ear and couldn't hear a thing and she took a tranquilizer and was out cold in short order every night. You'd be surprised at how much better that made me feel.
I remember it being the "in" thing to be able to "read" your infants cries as to what they need, every mom could do it they said.............Um, not this one. Not with easy child, not with any of them. I just went through the list of what it *might* be until I found out what it was, except with Travis. If he'd have been my first child?? I'd have thought myself so incompetent I'm not sure if I'd have had more. But then he had good sound physical reasons why he was so severe and if his pediatrician doctor had listened to me, it would have never gone on so darn long. Once the gastroenterologist was on board, the "colic" dropped off dramatically, as did spewing formula all over the rooms, me, and anyone within range.
I've seen you with Meggie, I've seen Meggie with you. You're doing just fine.
As the weeks pass you'll feel more and more comfortable and before you know it, it will be old hat. My list was: 1. are they hungry? 2. dirty diaper 3. left over burp? 4. sleepy? 5. gas? 6. teething?
Oddly enough, left over burps were often the culprit. Fred was somewhat better at burping than me, which I never did figure out. lol If gas was really bad, I might do a bath in warm water to see if it helped move the gas along or at least had a relaxing effect.
Talk to your doctor about the Pervasive Developmental Disorder (PDD) and get their opinion, don't be miserable when there is no reason to be. Let them help you judge. As far as teens and a newborn?? I figured if they made it past the 3 month mark without being strangled at least once it's a good thing. lol
trinityroyal
Well-Known Member
Hmm...skinned knees of the belly. I can just imagine the sensation, but don't know the cause. The formerly stretched skin of your abdomen trying to figure out what to do with itself now that it's no longer stretched? Dryness caused by cold weather? Random urticaria? (I have had weird skin eruptions periodically ever since I got pregnant with easy child. They've never entirely gone away). Maybe worth mentioning to your doctor at your and Meggie's next follow-up visit.
As for the superwoman thing, when you're generally good at handling stuff, people just sort of expect you to...um...handle stuff. When you just do, and don't complain, then people make the mistake of thinking that it doesn't bother you, whatever "it" is. Are there things that you can let go without driving yourself crazy? E.g take care of yours and Meggie's personal needs, and let the rest of the gang fend for themselves? Use paper plates until you finish healing, so that you don't have to worry so much about dishes ("You scrape, I'll erase", as my husband says). A frank talk with your family, of the "going crazy and can't take it any more" variety?
I learned the hard way that sometimes you've got to let them know you're at the breaking point BEFORE you actually break.
As for the superwoman thing, when you're generally good at handling stuff, people just sort of expect you to...um...handle stuff. When you just do, and don't complain, then people make the mistake of thinking that it doesn't bother you, whatever "it" is. Are there things that you can let go without driving yourself crazy? E.g take care of yours and Meggie's personal needs, and let the rest of the gang fend for themselves? Use paper plates until you finish healing, so that you don't have to worry so much about dishes ("You scrape, I'll erase", as my husband says). A frank talk with your family, of the "going crazy and can't take it any more" variety?
I learned the hard way that sometimes you've got to let them know you're at the breaking point BEFORE you actually break.
Hound dog
Nana's are Beautiful
I missed that part............
I've had this, in fact it was after my first surgery when the idiot doctor decided to open me stem to stern looking for a stone in my ureter. I had it again with the incision for my kidney surgery. It's nerve related. doctor caught a nerve is all. It will get better over time and the sensation will eventually go away completely. My guy also distributed my body fat unevenly......and to this day it looks weird. lol Mine was numbish.......limb gone to sleep sort of thing. Drove me nuts at first. Lasted long enough that I thought docs were lying about it going away eventually. First time it was up to a year, 2nd several months. It's nothing doctor did wrong, just something that happens from time to time. I've had several surgeries where it didn't happen at all.
Hugs
