Step........how's it going?

Discussion in 'The Watercooler' started by DDD, Jul 23, 2011.

  1. DDD

    DDD Well-Known Member

    Glad to read that the kids are doing ok but wondering about you and husband. I truly can't imagine what a Twilight Zone experience this has been and want you to know that I care. Sending caring thoughts of support your way. DDD
     
  2. AnnieO

    AnnieO Shooting from the Hip

    And now I'm hearing Rod Serling's voice, but the song by Golden Earring.

    husband is... Hmm. He's upset for the kids, and at the same time totally relieved. I have discovered - through this - that the abuse he endured was a lot more extreme than I realized.

    I'm worried for the kids, overwhelmed, and realized earlier I am now the only mother of any kind the kids have. HUGE responsibility. I'll do my best though - as I always have. I did have a moment this morning where I silently thanked bio for giving them to me, no matter how it happened, and promised I'd try to do my best.

    I went to JC Penney earlier to find a dress shirt and slacks for Jett; we have a black tie, and he can wear his tennis shoes... He IS a kid, after all.

    Onyxx - I offered to take her out and get her a dress if she wishes - all she has to do is call me. Up to her, 100%. I took her the two dresses she had in her closet. I'm going to ask her what kind of flowers bio liked - I'll get one for each child. The stepdaughter too, and I'm getting an extra one for Onyxx to have in place of her infant sister. It's not about who or what. It's about loving the kids.

    husband and I both got hugs and an "I love you" from Onyxx this morning. Wow.

    Twilight Zone... Wonderland/Underland... Alternate reality... Yeah. It's weird. I always thought this was a strange situation.
     
  3. klmno

    klmno Active Member

    It is odd and you're doin g a great job. I would just ask, as someone who had a bio-dad die and later a step-dad die as a youth, please don't say anything derogatory about the BM thru this or even later. Remember that all that is over and they need to remember whatever good they can about her. That doesn't mean they won't remember her faults and mistakes too or that they love you any less. I'm just throwing that out as someone who lost a father, had a first step-dad that constantly belittled things (including the past) then ended up with a great second step-father who was a great father image but then had to deal with my bio-dad's extended family belittling him, even after he died. in my humble opinion, the best thing for the kids is once a bio-parent dies, let the differences between the bio-parent and others die as well. Just my 2 cents.

    I would make J wear a solid pair of shoes though. Or at least a pair of comfortable shoes that look like a solid pair of shoes.
     
  4. KTMom91

    KTMom91 Well-Known Member

    I think sending flowers from the kids is a great idea, even from the two that aren't with you; that gives Onyxx a way to participate. Hugs and prayers continuing for you and yours.
     
  5. Rabbit

    Rabbit Member

    sending hugs and prayers for you and your family Rabbit
     
  6. Steely

    Steely Active Member

    You are such an amazing Mom.....so many step moms could care less.
    Hugs to your whole family.
     
  7. DDD

    DDD Well-Known Member

    You're "stepping up to the plate" big time. Great job. DDD
     
  8. TerryJ2

    TerryJ2 Well-Known Member

    Many hugs. :group-hug:
     
  9. AnnieO

    AnnieO Shooting from the Hip

    You guys are awesome... I couldn't do this without the board, I swear.

    I have no intentions of saying anything about bio. Onyxx and Jett got me a picture of them and her so I can scan it in and make it 8x10 for each of their rooms (wherever Onyxx is). Whatever else might have happened in the past, she was their MOTHER.

    I am their Mom too - but totally in a different way.
     
  10. 1905

    1905 Well-Known Member

    I think you're an amazing mom to those kids, and I want to wish you all peace and condolences. (((hugs))) (My dad wore black sneakers with his tux at my sister's wedding, you could never tell and he was comfortable.)
     
  11. gcvmom

    gcvmom Here we go again!

    Hang in there... you ARE doing a great job. They'll get through this eventually, thanks to you.
     
  12. Mattsmom277

    Mattsmom277 Active Member

    I have obviously missed something huge here. Sending warm thoughts through major confusion.

    Edited to say I have found your post in general. My heartfelt prayers and thoughts to your kiddos. I'm glad they have you and your husband there, this is going to take a toll over time as losing a parent is wont to do. I'll keep them in my prayers for quite some time. (((hugs to all)))
     
  13. mstang67chic

    mstang67chic Going Green

    I wouldn't expect anything less from you as for your gifts for the kids. You're an awesome Mom! Wish I was closer though. I think Onyxx would remember me...not sure about Jett but tell them both I'm thinking about them and give them each a huge hug for me. Onyxx is more than welcome to message/friend me on FB if she wants to talk to anyone not involved at all. Tell her I'll keep everything secret short of anything that is a safety issue.

    Actually...any of you can call....you have my number.

    ANd if the picture that Onyxx gave you is the one on her FB page.....that's a really good picture.

    Hugs to all of you!
     
  14. Star*

    Star* call 911........call 911

    Just sending my hugs ------

    You are correct Step - The power of this board is truly wonderful. We're here for you all. Call if you need me! We were talking about all husband has endured and DF said - he was relieved for the sake of the BS for a fellow board Dad. He completely understands his position and the kids' too. Our thoughts are with you.

    Hugs & Love
    Star & DF
     
  15. AnnieO

    AnnieO Shooting from the Hip

    Stang - I cannot see her fb page. I'm blocked, as is husband, and my friends, and most of the rest of the family.
     
  16. mstang67chic

    mstang67chic Going Green

    It's a picture of Onyxx and (I'm assuming) BM nose to nose taken from the side.
     
  17. HaoZi

    HaoZi Guest

    From where I sit and what I've seen, you've been more of a mom to them than she was. I say this not to denigrate her memory or belittle their grief, but to remind you to trust in yourself when it comes to them and what they need from you.
     
  18. hearts and roses

    hearts and roses Mind Reader

    I'm so sorry, I've been so out of the loop only able to check in sporadically. I just wanted to send you warm hugs and a big 'KUDOS' for being such a great mom! I'm sorry things had already been difficult and then this-wow. You're a special person.
     
  19. DammitJanet

    DammitJanet Well-Known Member Staff Member

    Step...I have been on and off the board most of the past several days and have been trying to figure out what has been going on. I called Star to make sure that I had it correct. I am so very sorry for all of you. That is odd in a twisted way. Please tell O that the really big lady in the yellow top sends her a hug. Maybe she will remember me...lol.
     
  20. AnnieO

    AnnieO Shooting from the Hip

    Thanks, all...

    Stang, if the lady is Japanese-looking, that's probably bio.

    :sigh:

    Jett is starting to cry a little here and there. I think it's good. I've been hugging him a lot. husband took him to see Captain America this evening, so that helped for a while.
     
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