I am the step patent of 2 beautiful children whom I've known since they were 5 & 10. We have always gotten along great. Through the years (they are now 9&14) their mother has constantly talked bad about me to the kids. She has attacked me, burned me with a cigarette, and is just all around miserable. She smokes pot around her children saying that its how she grew up. I'm sorry but to me that is WRONG. She has always wanted my husband to go back to her, they were married 11 years. My stepson is now telling his father that he needs counseling because he feels lost and told me he thinks he has separation anxiety. He told me when he is with his mom he misses dad. When he is with dad he misses mom. I know that she talks to much to the kids about wanting my husband back. I just told my stepson that I know the situation is not what he wanted but we have 50% custody and we live so close he can skateboard back and forth. Not sure what else to say besides I will get him a counselor. (They are covered under my insurance). Problem is that his mom is making it difficult for them to feel its ok to like me. Yesterday my husband had to work and my step had a concert. We made plans to go early, eat lunch and hang out. His mom text saying she wanted to take him and she's the mother and had she known that my husband was working she would have taken them anyway.... It's our week. So instead of putting him in the middle, I dropped him off and my step daughter and I went to the exact same place... While we were there my step son hung out with his mom the whole time and didn't talk or acknowledge me once. My step daughter hung out with me the whole time and only said bye to her mom when we left. I don't know what to do.. I do everything for the kids, I buy him shoes, clothes - his mom buys nothing. We put him in music school. If he wants something he won't ask his mom he will ask us and then get irritated if we don't get it for him.. The kid has no rules, no curfew. My husband and I went out to a party (not our week), son wanted to use our house to hang out with a few friends, we got home and there were girls who ended up spending night. That was my last straw and I told my husband if he doesn't put his foot down I will... And he did.. I don't want to be the bad guy, but its so hard to parent when the ex is making it hard... At a loss.