stiches, storm, and matt

Discussion in 'The Watercooler' started by Steely, Jan 23, 2010.

  1. Steely

    Steely Active Member

    So, I successfully dropped Matt off at his new placement. There were positives and negatives to the program, but I did not have much choice. He seems OK though, and like he understands what the world is expecting. It was super hard to say goodbye again. Super.

    I left Matt & Cal in the middle of the flash floods. It was crazy. Freeways were closed, mud slides, you saw it all on the news, I am sure. Unfortunately my travels took me in the exact line of the storms.
    I spent the night in Vegas and then into my home, Northern AZ, where there was ice, snow, and sleet - the worst storm in years and I had to follow it? But I made it through.

    I must have gained 6 pounds in that car ride, so I took the dogs for a long walk today. I fell on the gravel and split my palm wide open. It was deep, and meaty. I thought I was going to pass out. I walked the mile back home with the 3 dogs tethered to the other hand and went to go get stitches. OMG. PAIN.

    I know this all sounds so negative - so I keep pondering why negative things happen to people over and over. I mean it seems like once one is in that negative sphere, negative things that are totally out of one's mental control happen - like storms or stiches. The only solution I can think of is that once negativity surrounds our aura - it takes over. The only remedy is positivity?
    Last edited: Jan 23, 2010
  2. crazymama30

    crazymama30 Active Member

    Oh Steely. I hope your hand heals ok, that sounds pretty painful.

    I am glad Matt got to his new placement, and hope that he understands. I hope the placement turns out to be positive.

    You deserve a break, hopefully it is coming soon
  3. Hound dog

    Hound dog Nana's are Beautiful


    I hope that Matt's new placement becomes a major positive influence on him and he begins to move forward again.

    OUCH! I hate to fall on my hands, hurts worse than anywhere just about, I swear.

    As for the negative stuff......for me it seems to happen in groupings. Then I have to start searching for something positive in the midst of it all or it tends to pull me right down with it. The weather has been really crazy this year.

    You deserve a bit of pampering after all that. So be sure to pamper yourself tomorrow.

  4. ThreeShadows

    ThreeShadows Quid me anxia?

    Wow, Steely! I see so much symbolism in your accident. You have split your palm open and an open hand represents an act of letting go, freeing something important to you.

    The pain must have been excruciating, you have so many nerve endings in your palm and your nerves have been so exposed lately! This is very eerie.
  5. Shari

    Shari IsItFridayYet?

    A fall on the ice is better than a crash on the ice, I guess?

    I dunno. I'm searching for that positive, too.

    Hugs. Hope your hand feels better.
  6. jal

    jal Member


    Feel better soon. I'm so sorry for it all. Hugs.
  7. KTMom91

    KTMom91 Well-Known Member

    Sending many hugs and some positive energy! Your aura theory makes sense...I hadn't thought of it like that.
  8. Steely

    Steely Active Member

    Thanks guys.
    My hand is pounding today - I had no idea it would be this painful.

    3shadows - hmmmmm - I had not thought of the accident as a metaphor at all until you said that. Fascinating.

    Speaking of symbolism - I forgot to mention that when driving thru the storm I went through this place in Nev where the sun was shining through the rain. There were rainbows arching between the mountains everywhere. As I drove, I would look to my left and see the end of a rainbow, and then look to my right and there would be the other end. I saw both ends of 5 different rainbows within 30 minutes. Then, the last rainbow, I actually drove through the end of it. There were multi colored lights surrounding my car. It was amazing - and extremely spiritual. I decided it could only mean one thing - that things will change for the positive.
    Last edited: Jan 24, 2010
  9. DammitJanet

    DammitJanet Well-Known Member Staff Member

    WOW...those rainbows sound amazingly beautiful!
  10. Estherfromjerusalem

    Estherfromjerusalem Well-Known Member

    Steely, you have been through so much. You are an amazingly tough person to be able to continue functioning. And then the last straw -- falling on your palm like that and needing to be stitched. Ouch! I am so sorry.

    What you described about the rainbows -- it's almost as if some "power" specially put them there for you, as a sort of sign, like you said, that "things will change for the positive." I truly hope so.

    I hope Matt settles down in his new place.

    Keeping you in my heart.

    Love, Esther
  11. klmno

    klmno Active Member

    I'm glad you checked in- I was a little concerned. The hand "gash" sounds horribly painful and I hope it's feeling a little better by now. I for one feel better with M being a little closer and easier for you to get to if need be, although it's still not "easy". I really hope this turns out to be more beneficial for him. As you said, there are positives and negatives in every situation.

    At least you got to see something surreal with the rainbows! I hope you keep that image in your mind for the rest of this year!
  12. Wiped Out

    Wiped Out Well-Known Member Staff Member

    I hope your hand heals quickly and that Matt's new placement will be one of great growth for him. Hugs.
  13. Star*

    Star* call 911


    I was thinking the same exact thing that Three Shadows wrote. This was not a negative necessarily, but more like a release, with healing. Matt was released from a place you felt was negative, now he's in a better place. Positive. You were stressed out and worried about his welfare and did what you felt was the right thing to do even though the place where he was fought you on it, now that negative is gone and you are in a better place mentally. Positive. You (warrior Mom) went through possibly one of the worst & horrific weather situations (severe negative for tens of thousands of people) this year if not in the last ten years of that areas history and came home unscathed. Major positive. (Excellent positive that you chose a very dependable jeep).

    So out of ALL this - ALL this - you fall, cut your hand and you feel THAT is the bad thing in all of this? (insert my mild chuckle) Because.......I am thinking....after ALL THE ABOVE....YOU think a cut on the hand is the bad part? oy. AND you had a place to go and funds to GET stitches? Oy again.

    Sometimes luv - you have to start appreciating the rain clouds and the thunder before you can appreciate the rainbows that are shining just for you. Matt's safe, you're safe, money was spent - but it's replacable. Your hand will heal, and you have friends here that care about you enough to tell you that bad things do happen to good people....all day, every day, very bad things to very good people. But we keep going, and we keep our heads up....and we keep plowing through because WE (not them - US) WE are the ones that people look to when times get really really crazy, rough, tough, impossible and say "Well look at her, and all she's been did SHE handle it?" Instead of looking at all these things as a curse or a negative, start looking at the survival of it all as a blessing. Don't wish you had less bad things happen - Wish you had more courage. Don't wish you had fewer problems - Hope you have more strength. Don't wish it wouldn't happen to you, be thankful it did happen to you and you survived because when it happens to someone else? You're going to be able to lean over and offer your hand to help them up & let them know it WILL be okay, they can survive.

    Positive affirmations every day.....from here on out. That scar on your hand is a remind you ever day for the rest of your life that you are a survivor, strong, and every day for the rest of your life you will overcome whatever is thrown at you. It's your badge of honor. Your own personal evil eye. (so to speak) NOW GO LIVE LIFE TO THE FULLEST....:D

    Hugs & Love
  14. rejectedmom

    rejectedmom New Member

    Many eastern cultures believe that you attract what you project. That is the premise behind creative visualization and "The Secret".

    I seriously hope that things turn around for you. You need a break! -RM
  15. totoro

    totoro Mom? What's a GFG?

    Well you have to admit it is beautiful right now. Cold but beautiful. We were in a drought (a sign) and the rains have brought forth a wonderful start to the year for AZ. Despite some of the flooding, it is bringing people together.
    I hope the changes will bring some closure and rebirth for you.
    I think about Matt and you a lot. Try to let what happened up in Idaho go and let all of this be a new beginning.
  16. Steely

    Steely Active Member

    It was certainly not my hand injury that made things turn negative - it was the sequence of events that all happened within 5 days that was/is exhausting.

    I truly know that in order to change things in my life, I need a new paradigm. I need to look at things positively in order to initiate a change.

    I know I have so much to be thankful for. So much. Yet there is a lot of heartbreak as well. Perhaps it is my depression that keeps things in my life slanted in a negative perspective. I can "intellectualize" the positive, but I cannot feel it most of the time.

    There has to be a reason that I am constantly challenged in life. The most I have gone without drama in my life is 6 months - for as long as I can remember. There has to be a reason this happens. Maybe if I can find that reason/purpose, I can fulfill it, and thus be free of the drama.

    Matt being safe and in a positive placement is still very much to be determined. His life is what he makes it, and I know, that within minutes it could all fall apart. I have to be able to prepare myself for that, and be guarded emotionally.

    Anyway. Thanks for listening & for the encouragement.
  17. klmno

    klmno Active Member

    Steely, I wish you could have experienced therapy with my therapist- I really believe that she could have helped you if you were committed to it. It's so hard to find a good one these days- aat least here- who really "gets it" and is knowledgable about how to help. I hope this depression doesn't become like a comfortable blanket you don't know how to live without.