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Stick a fork in me . . .
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<blockquote data-quote="meowbunny" data-source="post: 127027" data-attributes="member: 3626"><p>I finally discovered that my daughter truly needed help in remembering what she needs to do. So, now I give her gentle reminders of what she has missed doing about an hour before I go to bed. I try to make it as joking as possible. Such as, "Did you the clothes won't magically jump into the drawer after you've folded them?" (said with a smile). This has helped a lot, both in her doing it and our not fighting.</p><p> </p><p>For dishes, I just yell from the kitchen for all dirty dishes to olly olly oxen free. The come marching in quite well even if not of their own accord.</p><p> </p><p>Mind you, with mine it isn't that she doesn't want to do the work, it is that she honestly doesn't see it or, if she does, it is either something to be done later or something that just doesn't register as something she needs to do. She's not being deliberately lazy or defiant, it just isn't in her sense of logic. No question there are executive function issues going on. It sounds like your daughter is the same way.</p><p> </p><p>What I did was ask her if she wanted reminders about what needed doing to keep me off her back (one reminder is it). She said she did. She also agreed that if she got nasty about doing it, the reminders would stop and I would have the right to do the cleaning up and my cleaning up meant right into the garbage or Goodwill box.</p><p> </p><p>You really may have to help her, not by doing but by reminding. Good luck, this is not an easy thing to get a teen to do -- it isn't in their nature to begin with and if you add ADHD, ADD or executive functioning problems into the mix, it becomes truly frustrating for both of you.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="meowbunny, post: 127027, member: 3626"] I finally discovered that my daughter truly needed help in remembering what she needs to do. So, now I give her gentle reminders of what she has missed doing about an hour before I go to bed. I try to make it as joking as possible. Such as, "Did you the clothes won't magically jump into the drawer after you've folded them?" (said with a smile). This has helped a lot, both in her doing it and our not fighting. For dishes, I just yell from the kitchen for all dirty dishes to olly olly oxen free. The come marching in quite well even if not of their own accord. Mind you, with mine it isn't that she doesn't want to do the work, it is that she honestly doesn't see it or, if she does, it is either something to be done later or something that just doesn't register as something she needs to do. She's not being deliberately lazy or defiant, it just isn't in her sense of logic. No question there are executive function issues going on. It sounds like your daughter is the same way. What I did was ask her if she wanted reminders about what needed doing to keep me off her back (one reminder is it). She said she did. She also agreed that if she got nasty about doing it, the reminders would stop and I would have the right to do the cleaning up and my cleaning up meant right into the garbage or Goodwill box. You really may have to help her, not by doing but by reminding. Good luck, this is not an easy thing to get a teen to do -- it isn't in their nature to begin with and if you add ADHD, ADD or executive functioning problems into the mix, it becomes truly frustrating for both of you. [/QUOTE]
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