BusynMember
Well-Known Member
What do you think the residential treatment center will do for her? She sounds more like she has some sort of disorder than that she is a kid heading for trouble. I think she needs help more than discipline. Has she ever seen a neuropsychologist for complete diagnosis? I have had terrible depression and discipline would not have helped me. May have just made me give up completely.
Poor hygiene is often a sign of autistic spectrum disorder, high functioning.
Think hard about what you want to accomplish and ask about it with Residential Treatment Center (RTC). See what kinds of kids are there. See how often she gets to see a psychiatrist and ask if she will be totally evaluated. You don't want to treat something she doesn't have nor ignore something she does have, but was just missed. The right diagnostician is the key. I like neuropsychs best as they test in every category, for every disorder, and not just for school performance.
If it were me, I'd do the neuropysch evaluation first. If she has a disorder, an Residential Treatment Center (RTC) probably will be a bad fit.
Poor hygiene is often a sign of autistic spectrum disorder, high functioning.
Think hard about what you want to accomplish and ask about it with Residential Treatment Center (RTC). See what kinds of kids are there. See how often she gets to see a psychiatrist and ask if she will be totally evaluated. You don't want to treat something she doesn't have nor ignore something she does have, but was just missed. The right diagnostician is the key. I like neuropsychs best as they test in every category, for every disorder, and not just for school performance.
If it were me, I'd do the neuropysch evaluation first. If she has a disorder, an Residential Treatment Center (RTC) probably will be a bad fit.
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She has seen a psychiatrist diagnosed with depression also has ADHD. The facility had a mix of kids in separate places. Emotional issued, behavioral issues, addiction issues. It's the only one in state that has a school and adolescent hospital. I've thought long about it but she's ruining her life by doing nothing. If anything may serve as wake up call.
2much2recover
Well-Known Member
Again Drew, you are the parent wanting a happy ending for your daughter. You see her now as floundering. Why not try something different? If not she is just going to continue to flounder as the years roll by. It shouldn't matter if she wants this residential treatment or not. You are the parent and you know what is best for her right now, in the head space she is in. I read an article recently about a young college student who inexplicably committed suicide. Her parents had been trying to get her help for her depression for the weeks leading up to the suicide but were unsuccessful. The girl never told anyone she was so depressed she was thinking of suicide. Finally she just acted. Please don't wait for deepening of your daughters depression or mental illness to take over her life. Act, as the responsible parent you are to get the professionals going on figuring out were her issues are.
Im throwing support your way and hoping something happens quick to help her.( no matter if its residential or another evaluation as suggested). As you know keep watching her in shifts where shes never alone.( but carefully as she may get even more upset knowing your constantly over her) Its so sad how the laws are the way they are-things need to be changed. Hugs
Well they had a date set for next week for admit but I don't have all paper work in place yet from Dr s. The closer this gets the more anxious I get. I wish she would just talk to a therapist and get rid of all this anger towards mom. Also go to family therapy. It would make things easier.
Not going to happen, because she knows that she is already "the bad guy" in the picture. So everyone, including the therapist, will be NOT on her side.
And she's probably right.
But she's probably more right than you know. All that teen anger? It might look like it's directed toward "mom" but... you have no idea what all has gone on, or where the anger really comes from. She may have some very valid reasons for her anger that you don't know about.
Trying to get a teen girl to "talk" is next to impossible. Even though they spend 75% of their day talking. Know what I mean??
Yes I know and that's why we want to do family therapy so that she doesent feel like she is the bad guy. I'm sure there is a lot of things she's angry about. She's too moody for normal teenager. Wants to know why mom isn't in a hospital for some stuff she does. We all need a break. But she needs to be educated and get some therapy. Then my wife and I need to see therapist and then be involved in group therapy at facility. Never saw this coming like you can with some kids. She's never been this "bad kid". I know feels not part of group,at school. Has different likes than other kids. This is part of problem.
2much2recover
Well-Known Member
Try going through her history on her computer/cell phone. Maybe there is something else going on with her that you don't know about. A good professional will tell you that you are not violating her "privacy" but having a troubled kid gives you both the right and the responsibility to find out what IS happening in her life any way you can. That goes for searching her room as well. Of course I would not make a big deal about it because if you tell her you are going to do it - well she is just going to get rid of what she doesn't want you to know about.
I wish you and your family the best to get through this. Just tell her everybody has different issues and has handled them differently not realizing it. And that family therapy will help ALL of you learn to work on whats wrong with yourselves- if anything, and how to get along with each other. But, if you think what I said would get your daughter more upset, please do not say it or re-word it. Its just what sorta is keeping it calm for me. Residential Im sure is scary for everyone in your family, then all the feelings to go with it.( one thing I may have to face one day). Hang in there. Good luck.
2much2recover
Well-Known Member
Drew, another thing I would say to you is the famous phrase: "stop trying to make sense out of nonsense!" No matter what the problem is, you can't "win" an argument with a teenager. She has no say in what she thinks about what your wife does or does not need. It is none of her business, so try to blow if off when she brings it up. In a way it is just manipulation anyway as in: well why do I have to and mom doesn't? The answer: she is a teen, not a doctor so she really has no idea what your wife needs are.
FlowerGarden
Active Member
Admitting to hospital or residential? I know you thought she might have to go through the hospital to be admitted into residential.
So last week daughter spent 15 minutes doing family therapy with someone we have coming to house thought it was good. She still hangs in room by herself. Comes out only for food or bathroom. Then this week did not want to talk to therapist at all. Denied being angry at anything. Has been calmer overall. This morning I sat diwn with her to tell her there was a bed open at the facility we were looking at. She was silent. Told her unless she started going to therapy,maybe take medications, get going with school she has no options. She then threatened me and I left her to think about her decisions. Once I get paper work all done this will happen. Been hard since at times see glimpses of normalcy in her.
2much2recover
Well-Known Member
This is not normal. Did you think about going through her electronics? Could be something else you have no idea about that is causing her to act this way? Maybe she is connecting with people you wouldn't want her chatting with online. Some young girls today are going as far as to post nude photos of themselves online. I definitely feel you should be checking out what she is doing in her room so much that she is coming out of it so little. Something is going on in there that has all of her attention.
2much2recover
Well-Known Member
Drew, if that is really all she is doing, she shouldn't mind you having a look. Bring it up with her and see how she reacts.
FlowerGarden
Active Member
You mentioned she threatened you. Was it to do physical harm? It is hard on us when we get a glimpse of them being normal but you have to keep the whole picture in your head. She is suffering from something and the longer you wait, the worse it can get.
Well we were give a March 6 th date for an admit date. I haven't told my daughter this yet. I know she will play on my heart when I do. Part of me wants her there so she can realize she needs treatment and that her life is not that bad at home. Another part of me wants her to just wake up and smell the coffee and get back to being who she was. I think this will be harder on me than her. I go through a million scenarios in my head hoping this all works out ok. I know we may have to involuntarily commit her just to get her transferred to facility but that's on her. She just won't listen to reason. I know she's scared although she says she is not and she says she's not angry either but can't have her staying in her room all the time, not eating well or taking care of hygiene very well. From past experience with hospital I know she will be as stubborn as a mule and not do anything asked of her for a week until she realizes the only way to get back home is to start opening up about what's bothering her. Im hoping all goes well.
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