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<blockquote data-quote="realangel" data-source="post: 106045" data-attributes="member: 3193"><p>Its a strange feeling i have in me right now. For the first time since i dont know when i am able to go out to work and relax in the knowledge that school isnt going to ring me with one problem or another, and i am not having to take time off because he refuses to go to school and cannot be trusted in the home by himself (he lit a fire in his bedroom when i was downstairs 'for fun'), but at the same time there is this emptiness and the not knowing what he is doing. </p><p></p><p>He is going to his bio dad for christmas because his dad felt sorry for him having no one on christmas day ... but bio dad wouldnt help when it was needed and actually called me all the names under the sun,even though he wouldnt take him in, so i know christmas day wont be ruined by difficult child ringing me up saying he is alone. :rolleyes:</p><p></p><p>There is also the pain that my 'baby' boy doesnt want me, doesnt respect me, and to be honest i feel he actually hates me. I spent 16 years doing what i could for him, trying to help him develop into a nice young man and the only thanks i get is this..... all i can think of is i must have been very wicked in a former life if this is my punishment.</p><p></p><p>BUT i stay strong for the other children, my easy child's and for SO who i dont think i could have coped without. I work hard to forget the pain..... so for 7 hours a day i am pain free, and for 3 hours every wednesday night i am laughing with other peoples children (some of which are difficult child's themselves) ... kids that love and adore their parents!</p><p></p><p>I know things will get better ONE day .....</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="realangel, post: 106045, member: 3193"] Its a strange feeling i have in me right now. For the first time since i dont know when i am able to go out to work and relax in the knowledge that school isnt going to ring me with one problem or another, and i am not having to take time off because he refuses to go to school and cannot be trusted in the home by himself (he lit a fire in his bedroom when i was downstairs 'for fun'), but at the same time there is this emptiness and the not knowing what he is doing. He is going to his bio dad for christmas because his dad felt sorry for him having no one on christmas day ... but bio dad wouldnt help when it was needed and actually called me all the names under the sun,even though he wouldnt take him in, so i know christmas day wont be ruined by difficult child ringing me up saying he is alone. [img]:rolleyes:[/img] There is also the pain that my 'baby' boy doesnt want me, doesnt respect me, and to be honest i feel he actually hates me. I spent 16 years doing what i could for him, trying to help him develop into a nice young man and the only thanks i get is this..... all i can think of is i must have been very wicked in a former life if this is my punishment. BUT i stay strong for the other children, my easy child's and for SO who i dont think i could have coped without. I work hard to forget the pain..... so for 7 hours a day i am pain free, and for 3 hours every wednesday night i am laughing with other peoples children (some of which are difficult child's themselves) ... kids that love and adore their parents! I know things will get better ONE day ..... [/QUOTE]
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