Long ago I learned to be cynical. I live in a small village where teachers who work here also live here, alongside students and parents. In a couple of cases the teacher is a target for local thugs out for revenge. in my opinion they're after the wrong target, but that's a separate story.
I found a great deal of complacency in staff at the local school. Occasionally I'd find astaff member who was really dedicated, but in general they would do the least they could do, to get the job done.
These people took the line of least resistance. When difficult child 3 was being bullied and I was pounding on the desk demanding action, it was still easier for the principal and his staff to do as little as possible (and put up with me getting angry) than to call in the (bullying) parents of the bullies and confront them. The school staff, knowing that soon the problem would graduate out of their juridsiction, stalled. Toconfront the other parents was likely to be unproductive, unpleasant andhave long-term social repercussions. To stall woiuld be to annoy me in the short-term but they gambled that I would be less trouble for them than angry, bullying parents who had a reputation for lying in wait for you in dark alleys.
Other issues affecting school staff - bureaucracy. I got a phone call today from an old teacher of difficult child 3's, asking for my help with the parent of one of her students. The parent needs help in learning how to be a Warrior Mum, help that the teacher is not permitted to give because it involves kicking the same rear ends she works for. Now, this particular teacher wasn't perfect for difficult child 3 by any means. She got angry with him, she got angry with me at times. But she was still one of the good guys, I could generally rely on her to have difficult child 3's interests at heart.
This teacher is no longer at the local school, because she cared too much and began to burn out. She had to leave to preserve her sanity. What really frustrated her was the way most of the other staff worked really hard to avoid work.
These lazy staff have one big payoff - they have survived in the job, because they have learned that the problems don't last. A problem can be moved along, can be graduated, can be placated and soothed for long enough to finally become Someone Else's Problem.
And the biggest motivator of all - teachers work with one another. They will be working alongside one another long after our kids have grown up and moved on. Therefore they need to get on with one another, and the staffroom politics often dictate that a conscientious teacher not "show up" the other staff. Again, this happened here at our local school.
Yes, teachers ARE on the isdes of students. But they are also human, which means that like all human beings, they are out for themselves above all. That means that yes, they want to help your child but not at the expense of their own peace of mind, their own energy levels and their own safety/sense of security when it comes to risking offending other people who could REALLY make their lives miserable.
That is why, when I am dealing with teachers (or people in general who I want something from) - I try to find the carrot at the end of the stick. What can I do, to "sell" the idea to these people? How can I make it worth their while to give me what I want?
Of course we shouldn't have to do this. But what it all boils down to - I want something to happen that will benefit my child. I could stand on my high horse and say, "You're supposed to do this," but I know I will get much more of what I want if instead I say, "If you do it this way, it will be much easier for you and will make your life easier and more pleasant."
After all the negotiating I've had to do, I figure I would do brilliantly in advertising and also in political lobbying.
Marg