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Substance Abuse
Still on the downside of the track, need to vent.
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<blockquote data-quote="SunnyFlorida" data-source="post: 31157" data-attributes="member: 696"><p>:rofl: So sorry, don't mean to be laughing, but this is EXACTLY the forum you need to be in. </p><p></p><p>Pot shouldn't be taken lightly. To some people the psychological and physical effects are very devastating. Pot is many people's drug of choice. If your difficult child's THC level is in the 700-800's then he's a pretty regular user. Going off will take close to a month to get clean. Pot can really mess up their brains.</p><p></p><p><div class="ubbcode-block"><div class="ubbcode-header">Originally Posted By: Mikey</div><div class="ubbcode-body"></p><p></p><p>I finally spent a lot of time writing him a letter explaining exactly how we feel, what we're worried about, and asking him to think about his actions. <strong>[<em>b]Writing is good, it's a way to start communication without being the aggressor.</em></strong>[/b] </p><p></p><p>The letter ended by saying that he had a choice to make, and that we would be talking about it soon. <strong><em>Alot of parent speak here. Most difficult child's will blow this off. </em></strong></p><p>Choice was whether or not he still wanted to be a member of the family. <strong><em>What choice? your difficult child knows he will always be a member of your family no matter what. He knows you may get mad at him, but you love him unconditionally and whatever happens he knows you will get over it. Therefore he can blow off this statement</em>.</strong></p><p></div></div></p><p></p><p>I do understand your dilema....really I do. I was there once. Now I don't know where I am but I remember being there.</p><p></p><p>You could negotiate on the curfew. sounds like your difficult child is doing school well, how about a job? what if you don't pay the car insurance and demand he be gainfully employed? </p><p></p><p>Exactly what does difficult child want? is what he wants within the negotiating realms that you and wife want to deal with? </p><p></p><p>The problem I see with negotiating is that you won't win. difficult child is pushing away, wanting to be an adult, and acting like a child. </p><p></p><p>I don't believe for a minute that your difficult child will run away far and stay away long. He's got it too good and he knows it. He'd probably go off and stay with some friends for a few weeks. He'd probably even say you all kicked him out. But in reality....so what? It's your house, your rules.</p><p></p><p>I know Alan wouldn't agree with this (Sorry Alan) but unless you take control somehow...your difficult child will.</p><p></p><p>One of my difficult child's left at 15 1/2. (January of his sophmore year he refused to go back to school) He went to live with a friend (a buddy we knew who was 4yrs older than him). I helped with rent/food and that's it. At 16 he got his ged and worked part time jobs until he went back to school at 18. He has lived with his girlfriend and her dad and brother for the past 3yrs. I still assist him with rent/food, but he hasn't lived here. I know what you mean about not being able to totally kick him out with no supports. For us this is what worked. My difficult child 2 has come quite a long way.</p><p></p><p>It's not easy hearing what any of us have to say. That's ok though. What helps is posting and getting opinions and ideas. You will find what works and we'll be there to support you.</p><p></p><p> :rofl: leaving Teens and S/A</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="SunnyFlorida, post: 31157, member: 696"] [img]:rofl:[/img] So sorry, don't mean to be laughing, but this is EXACTLY the forum you need to be in. Pot shouldn't be taken lightly. To some people the psychological and physical effects are very devastating. Pot is many people's drug of choice. If your difficult child's THC level is in the 700-800's then he's a pretty regular user. Going off will take close to a month to get clean. Pot can really mess up their brains. <div class="ubbcode-block"><div class="ubbcode-header">Originally Posted By: Mikey</div><div class="ubbcode-body"> I finally spent a lot of time writing him a letter explaining exactly how we feel, what we're worried about, and asking him to think about his actions. [b][[i]b]Writing is good, it's a way to start communication without being the aggressor.[/i][/b][i][/i][/b] The letter ended by saying that he had a choice to make, and that we would be talking about it soon. [b][i]Alot of parent speak here. Most difficult child's will blow this off. [/i][/b] Choice was whether or not he still wanted to be a member of the family. [b][i]What choice? your difficult child knows he will always be a member of your family no matter what. He knows you may get mad at him, but you love him unconditionally and whatever happens he knows you will get over it. Therefore he can blow off this statement[/i].[/b] </div></div> I do understand your dilema....really I do. I was there once. Now I don't know where I am but I remember being there. You could negotiate on the curfew. sounds like your difficult child is doing school well, how about a job? what if you don't pay the car insurance and demand he be gainfully employed? Exactly what does difficult child want? is what he wants within the negotiating realms that you and wife want to deal with? The problem I see with negotiating is that you won't win. difficult child is pushing away, wanting to be an adult, and acting like a child. I don't believe for a minute that your difficult child will run away far and stay away long. He's got it too good and he knows it. He'd probably go off and stay with some friends for a few weeks. He'd probably even say you all kicked him out. But in reality....so what? It's your house, your rules. I know Alan wouldn't agree with this (Sorry Alan) but unless you take control somehow...your difficult child will. One of my difficult child's left at 15 1/2. (January of his sophmore year he refused to go back to school) He went to live with a friend (a buddy we knew who was 4yrs older than him). I helped with rent/food and that's it. At 16 he got his ged and worked part time jobs until he went back to school at 18. He has lived with his girlfriend and her dad and brother for the past 3yrs. I still assist him with rent/food, but he hasn't lived here. I know what you mean about not being able to totally kick him out with no supports. For us this is what worked. My difficult child 2 has come quite a long way. It's not easy hearing what any of us have to say. That's ok though. What helps is posting and getting opinions and ideas. You will find what works and we'll be there to support you. [img]:rofl:[/img] leaving Teens and S/A [/QUOTE]
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