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Still Reeling from This News - Maybe Someone Knows How to Sort it Out...
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<blockquote data-quote="susiestar" data-source="post: 387672" data-attributes="member: 1233"><p>I am glad I helped clarify the issue. Because in many ways it IS fairly clear and simple if you remove family from it.</p><p> </p><p>Families are the reason that it is possible to report abuse anonymously. Otherwise very few cases would ever be reported and that would mean a whole lot of kids had exactly no hope of ever getting help.</p><p> </p><p>Right now you are NOT in a position to "rescue" J. She is old enough that little you would do COULD change her behavior and choices. At this point J is the ONLY person who can save J from her lifestyle. I wish it could be different because it would mean that a whole lot of us could help our teens a whole lot more. But J has to hit bottom before she will choose to change.</p><p> </p><p>If you were to take J into your home it would do possibly devastating things to your children. Your difficult child would have an example of far worse behavior and proof that you can do NOTHING to force a teen to change those choices. Your 11yo would be exposed to far more hard-core gfgness than he has already seen. He would likely be a target for the girls to gang up on, and if J has been abused sexually she just might turn around and perp on either your difficult child or your easy child because she thinks it is what is expected or normal. </p><p> </p><p>J needs far more help than any family could give her. She is past the point where she can be rescued from her choices by a superhero. </p><p> </p><p>Reporting this abuse is all you can do to help her right now. That and to let her know that if and when she is truly ready to move past her difficult child behaviors to a responsible adult lifestyle then you will help in any way you can. </p><p> </p><p>It makes NO sense to try to rescue or fix J by taking her into your home when it will mean that the 2 children who already live there will be possibly put into harm's way from her lifestyle and it will give your own difficult child ideas she truly does not need to have.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="susiestar, post: 387672, member: 1233"] I am glad I helped clarify the issue. Because in many ways it IS fairly clear and simple if you remove family from it. Families are the reason that it is possible to report abuse anonymously. Otherwise very few cases would ever be reported and that would mean a whole lot of kids had exactly no hope of ever getting help. Right now you are NOT in a position to "rescue" J. She is old enough that little you would do COULD change her behavior and choices. At this point J is the ONLY person who can save J from her lifestyle. I wish it could be different because it would mean that a whole lot of us could help our teens a whole lot more. But J has to hit bottom before she will choose to change. If you were to take J into your home it would do possibly devastating things to your children. Your difficult child would have an example of far worse behavior and proof that you can do NOTHING to force a teen to change those choices. Your 11yo would be exposed to far more hard-core gfgness than he has already seen. He would likely be a target for the girls to gang up on, and if J has been abused sexually she just might turn around and perp on either your difficult child or your easy child because she thinks it is what is expected or normal. J needs far more help than any family could give her. She is past the point where she can be rescued from her choices by a superhero. Reporting this abuse is all you can do to help her right now. That and to let her know that if and when she is truly ready to move past her difficult child behaviors to a responsible adult lifestyle then you will help in any way you can. It makes NO sense to try to rescue or fix J by taking her into your home when it will mean that the 2 children who already live there will be possibly put into harm's way from her lifestyle and it will give your own difficult child ideas she truly does not need to have. [/QUOTE]
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