Forums
New posts
Search forums
What's new
New posts
New profile posts
Latest activity
Internet Search
Members
Current visitors
New profile posts
Search profile posts
Log in
Register
What's new
Search
Search
Search titles only
By:
New posts
Search forums
Menu
Log in
Register
Install the app
Install
Forums
Parent Support Forums
Parent Emeritus
Still wont even attempt to solve his own problems
JavaScript is disabled. For a better experience, please enable JavaScript in your browser before proceeding.
You are using an out of date browser. It may not display this or other websites correctly.
You should upgrade or use an
alternative browser
.
Reply to thread
Message
<blockquote data-quote="BusynMember" data-source="post: 667318" data-attributes="member: 1550"><p>My son knows too, but doesn't want to hear it. Just the other day his ex filed a motion that will be a full custody battle again, complete with requesting a GAL...joy, joy, happy, happy. The fact is, as you know, a GAL and possible psychologist can change the landscape, even though she was in contempt of court so Bart is out of his mind because he doesn't know what will happen and can't control the outcome and always thinks the worst will happen. He said he may as well stick a knife in himself now if he isn't going to have Junioir.</p><p></p><p>I calmly told him that legal custody does not mean he will never have his son, whichever way it goes, and that he has to be strong for Junior and to just take the attitude that "I have no control over this and I will let it happen because trying to control the results won't help anything and can only hurt me and my son."</p><p></p><p>He didn't like that. "I hate your reality thinking."j</p><p></p><p>When I switched it to, "Well, you can do what your lawyer said and learn all you can about how to handle GALs" he was a bit better, but he hasn't called me for two days, which is a long time for him. </p><p></p><p>He wants my advice, but only if it's feel-good advice.</p><p></p><p>Maybe he will have to find different support systems. I am certainly here still, but I don't have the answers he wants, such as will he win this second battle. It would be very good for him if he tried to find peers to give him feedback. I hope he does.</p><p></p><p>On the other hand, I'm not sure he will. But since he has a strong urge to talk about his probjlems he may HAVE to find buddies to talk to and that would be a positive.</p><p></p><p>We'll see. I understand how frustrating it is when it seems they depend on us too much and for things that they do know...but they need us to say it.</p><p></p><p>I'm sorry about your son still leaning on you and not making obvious choices himself. </p><p></p><p></p><p></p><p></p><p></p><p></p><p></p><p></p><p></p><p></p><p></p><p></p><p></p><p></p><p></p><p>T</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="BusynMember, post: 667318, member: 1550"] My son knows too, but doesn't want to hear it. Just the other day his ex filed a motion that will be a full custody battle again, complete with requesting a GAL...joy, joy, happy, happy. The fact is, as you know, a GAL and possible psychologist can change the landscape, even though she was in contempt of court so Bart is out of his mind because he doesn't know what will happen and can't control the outcome and always thinks the worst will happen. He said he may as well stick a knife in himself now if he isn't going to have Junioir. I calmly told him that legal custody does not mean he will never have his son, whichever way it goes, and that he has to be strong for Junior and to just take the attitude that "I have no control over this and I will let it happen because trying to control the results won't help anything and can only hurt me and my son." He didn't like that. "I hate your reality thinking."j When I switched it to, "Well, you can do what your lawyer said and learn all you can about how to handle GALs" he was a bit better, but he hasn't called me for two days, which is a long time for him. He wants my advice, but only if it's feel-good advice. Maybe he will have to find different support systems. I am certainly here still, but I don't have the answers he wants, such as will he win this second battle. It would be very good for him if he tried to find peers to give him feedback. I hope he does. On the other hand, I'm not sure he will. But since he has a strong urge to talk about his probjlems he may HAVE to find buddies to talk to and that would be a positive. We'll see. I understand how frustrating it is when it seems they depend on us too much and for things that they do know...but they need us to say it. I'm sorry about your son still leaning on you and not making obvious choices himself. T [/QUOTE]
Insert quotes…
Verification
Post reply
Forums
Parent Support Forums
Parent Emeritus
Still wont even attempt to solve his own problems
Top