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<blockquote data-quote="recoveringenabler" data-source="post: 640658" data-attributes="member: 13542"><p>L&B, you didn't do anything wrong. That is a tough one to get through, to stop blaming ourselves, but if you hang out here you will hear that in almost every case, our kids went off the rails of their own accord, having nothing to do with our parenting other then possible enabling tendencies which helps them manipulate us. As you let go of the guilt, your suffering will start to diminish. </p><p></p><p></p><p></p><p>That's the wall we hit, we just can't do it anymore. That's when we change. WE are the ones who need to change. Once we do, our experience changes, we can learn to detach from our kids behaviors and let go of taking care of them and ruminating about them.</p><p></p><p>Hoping you're feeing better today.........keep posting, it helps.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="recoveringenabler, post: 640658, member: 13542"] L&B, you didn't do anything wrong. That is a tough one to get through, to stop blaming ourselves, but if you hang out here you will hear that in almost every case, our kids went off the rails of their own accord, having nothing to do with our parenting other then possible enabling tendencies which helps them manipulate us. As you let go of the guilt, your suffering will start to diminish. That's the wall we hit, we just can't do it anymore. That's when we change. WE are the ones who need to change. Once we do, our experience changes, we can learn to detach from our kids behaviors and let go of taking care of them and ruminating about them. Hoping you're feeing better today.........keep posting, it helps. [/QUOTE]
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