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stop the blame game
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<blockquote data-quote="Hope1972" data-source="post: 667265" data-attributes="member: 19542"><p>I can't tell you the comfort I have had just knowing that there are people here with resources. I have done several things for many years to cope with any life challenges. I consistently exercise and meditate. I journal, get counseling and now I am using puzzles and coloring therapy. I don't know what I would do with out them. I have included the children in these activities as well as "rooting", going outside and touching the earth and being outside. I need to add the detachment part of this. I really appreciate the suggestions with out over whelming me. I will read the article. My daughter left at 18, about 17 is when I noticed a change in her personality and seeked out counseling. I speak to her but, still don't believe anything she says. When she left at 18 she dropped out of school. First one in my family that didn't attend college or graduate from high school. The only solution I could come up with was "tough love" I removed everything from her. I took her car, credit cards, health insurance (when I started getting bills for unauthorized visits), keys to the house and phone. It was amazing to me that she chose a life of nothing over everything. I have stood strong since then. She knows not to call me from jail bc I won't save her. I guess the hardest thing is to understand why?, I explained that all she had to do was finish school and not get pregnant and she could get everything back. I gave her checks to pay for a GED, she changed the $ amount and stole money from me. She got pregnant and has left the baby with his dad that lives with my mother. I refused to let them live with me and the family thought I was being harsh so my mother let them move in with her. Now she understands. I warned her. She has stolen from my mom and caused a year of grief and drama. We asked her to move out due to the effect it was having on my grandson. His development had been latent. She doesn't always seem to be aware of reality and non reality in my opinion. She makes these grand plans and has no way to carry them out. She is homeless now and is some days staying in a hotel with a young man around her age. She has had a job for 3 days and is supposedly moving into an apt. this week with him. I confirmed she is still getting high (pot) and taking her medications with it. I feel myself, moving on some days and not thinking about her. I believe that I want her to succeed more that she wants it and I stop to recognize this and know that I can't do or say anything to help her succeed. She has to want it. I am good today. I slept last night which helps. Thank you. I hope you are well today.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Hope1972, post: 667265, member: 19542"] I can't tell you the comfort I have had just knowing that there are people here with resources. I have done several things for many years to cope with any life challenges. I consistently exercise and meditate. I journal, get counseling and now I am using puzzles and coloring therapy. I don't know what I would do with out them. I have included the children in these activities as well as "rooting", going outside and touching the earth and being outside. I need to add the detachment part of this. I really appreciate the suggestions with out over whelming me. I will read the article. My daughter left at 18, about 17 is when I noticed a change in her personality and seeked out counseling. I speak to her but, still don't believe anything she says. When she left at 18 she dropped out of school. First one in my family that didn't attend college or graduate from high school. The only solution I could come up with was "tough love" I removed everything from her. I took her car, credit cards, health insurance (when I started getting bills for unauthorized visits), keys to the house and phone. It was amazing to me that she chose a life of nothing over everything. I have stood strong since then. She knows not to call me from jail bc I won't save her. I guess the hardest thing is to understand why?, I explained that all she had to do was finish school and not get pregnant and she could get everything back. I gave her checks to pay for a GED, she changed the $ amount and stole money from me. She got pregnant and has left the baby with his dad that lives with my mother. I refused to let them live with me and the family thought I was being harsh so my mother let them move in with her. Now she understands. I warned her. She has stolen from my mom and caused a year of grief and drama. We asked her to move out due to the effect it was having on my grandson. His development had been latent. She doesn't always seem to be aware of reality and non reality in my opinion. She makes these grand plans and has no way to carry them out. She is homeless now and is some days staying in a hotel with a young man around her age. She has had a job for 3 days and is supposedly moving into an apt. this week with him. I confirmed she is still getting high (pot) and taking her medications with it. I feel myself, moving on some days and not thinking about her. I believe that I want her to succeed more that she wants it and I stop to recognize this and know that I can't do or say anything to help her succeed. She has to want it. I am good today. I slept last night which helps. Thank you. I hope you are well today. [/QUOTE]
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