We all know that once our difficult child's become irrational, there's no way of getting through to them until they're calm. But I need some advice on the following. difficult child starts crying hysterically over the smallest thing, which is normally in his control to fix or do if he just did it. For example: this morning I woke him up for breakfast. He ate and then I told him to wash up, and brush his teeth because we had to get going. The ODD started, and his total helplessness started. So I took the wash cloth and started to wash in hands. Everything hurt or bothered him, but I continued as fast as I could. Then I go to do his face, which I know is a big trigger. He didn't want it, so I didn't push it. During all of this easy child is in the tub quietly having his bath. I told difficult child to start to brush his teeth, and I'll be right back. When I come back difficult child is in the tub with easy child....geez. I blew that one off. I handed both of them their tooth brushes and told them to hurry up. I left to go get their clothes. When I come back I say get out, and difficult child starts going off about how cold it'll be. I tell him if he dried up fast then it wouldn't be that cold. Well the huge hysterics start when I get him out of the tub. I'm trying to dry off easy child, and quickly get him dressed, but difficult child is just flipping out. I ignore it, while trying to tell him that the longer he just stands there wet he's going to be cold. He has it in his power to dry off, and put on his clothes (which will then make him warmer). But NOOOOO, he just stands their crying hysterically screaming at me that he's cold, and for ME to dry him and dress him. Ahhhhhh, I can't do both kids at once!! And I'm trying to do tough love, because doing all of this type of stuff is not teaching him and helping him in anyway. But I can't handle the crying hysterics. It drives me nuts, and it pisses me off to no end. I mean the underware, pants, shirts, socks...everything is laid out for him. All he needs to do is just put them on. But no, he just stands there dripping wet hysterical. I know when he's at this point nothing gets through to him, but g-d help me I have to find a way. Do you guys have any suggestions? And by the way, all of doctors, counselors, therapists applaud me for making him do things, and they're impressed that I have him sorting the laundry, making the dinner table, organizing his room, etc. But I just don't know if standing firm, and making him follow through on something while having a hysterical breakdown is healthy. What do you think? Oh, I also think that if I wasn't in such a rush ALL THE TIME to get easy child to school and me to work, then I'd have the luxury to have the patience needed to help difficult child through these things. But I don't. Becuase of our life situation, he has to hoop-to just like a normal kid. And he is incapable of it, but life requires it. G-d this is driving me nuts. difficult child requires that these slow down, and I'm forced to move at lightening speed to get everything done. I'm doing him such a dis-service. It's tearing me up inside. I feel lousy about not having the time needed for him.