Straight A's Doesn't Mean

Discussion in 'The Watercooler' started by susiestar, Dec 1, 2012.

  1. susiestar

    susiestar Roll With It

    that you do not have to do your chores at home.

    WHY is this so hard to comprehend? I have been asking, reminding, giving consequences to thank you over his chores for two solid months. He isn't asked to do a lot. He cleans the litter box, takes out the trash, is supposed to help with laundry - mostly taking to the laundry room, moving through the machines, and bringing home, sharing kitchen duty and taking out the trash. I cannot stand for long so I cannot do a lot in the kitchen. I cannot carry laundry anywhere with-o great risk of destroying more of my spine and they don't think they can do any more surgery due to bone deterioration. Ditto taking out trash. Cat will not touch litter box unless husband or thank you cleans it. Our old cat started this when I was preg with Jess and the cats we had when/after she died picked this up from each other. they will go find husband's close to use the potty on if I or Jess clean the box. It takes a minute or less to scoop the box. I have timed it with both husband and thank you to show them how NOT put upon they are by this. The LONGEST it took was 50 seconds and that was after 3 days of not cleaning it and included putting in more litter. Washing hands adds maybe 60 seconds IF they wash for a solid 20 seconds as recommended for proper hand sanitation. husband does the litter most days, asking thank you to do it only on Sat and Mon. Sat is the day that husband works at sporting events at the university as event staff and he often puts in 12-15 hrs that day. Mon he has a late class and has a 90 mn bus ride each way. Sure, he naps on the bus, but it is still tiring. It is another 12 hr day. So cleaning the box those 2 days isn't a lot of chore to ask.

    Taking out the trash, including walking to the dumpster, is a three min job if they saunter slowly to the dumpster. Again, we timed it because thank you was saying it took SOOOOOO long.

    J and T are responsible for the dishes. Largely because they make unholy messes when they cook and they each like to cook what they want for dinner. They will go cook after dinner is made, so now they can pick what is for dinner and one makes it and the other cleans, or they share both jobs. MANY kitchen procedures have been streamlined to produce as little mess as possible. Like putting all the ground beef or chicken into the crock pot and cooking it that way so that it is frozen in 1 meal size portions. It is easy cleanup and super easy meal prep for MANY dishes. IF they do a super-duper deep clean after neglecting it for days, the time involved is a hugely abusive 45 min for either child alone. If they work together AND sweep the floor? 30 min tops.

    They are allowed to give input and make requests for the type of dish soap, kitchen wash rags, dish towels, trash bags, etc... to ensure that they have whatever they feel does the job most effectively and efficiently, to make sure that the trash bags don't tear or leak and cause problems and extra cleanup, and to make sure that the soaps don't cause skin irritation or allergy/migraine problems from the stink of so many of the popular cleaners.

    The MAX bathroom cleaning that is asked is that if you knock the soap dispenser off of the counter you pick it up, that you put the new roll of paper on the spindle, that you use the bathmat so that J isn't falling every time she steps itno the bathroom (she slips a LOT if the floor is wet), and that when the guys lift the seat they grab a baby wipe and wipe the yuck off of the rim and the seat bottom. Oh, and if there is dribble on the front of the toilet or the floor that they use a wipe to get that up. IF they did ALL of that, it would take maybe a min and a half. As they don't do it every time, it adds usually less than 30 seconds of time to using hte bathroom. As there is no physically possible way for J or I to spray the front of the toilet bowl, I don't think asking htem to clean it up is onerous. Baby wipes are amazing cleaning tools for the bathroom because they are designed to clean up bathroom waste. I do the heavy cleaning, meaning the toilet bowl, sink, tub/shower and floor. Oh, mirrors, knobs, light switch, change lightbulbs, etc...

    I do a lot of other chores also. But apparently I am demanding WAY too much time from thank you. Cause he is now flat out ignoring every request/demand for him to do his chores.

    As it is the weekend, and I know he was NOT asleep, I just 'woke him up' at 10:45 to let him know that I was really NOT appreciative of his ignoring his chores today. Considering he had ALL DAY to play games, read, goof off, and his chores would have been well under an hour today, and that we paid for his dance and chauffeured him around all last evening, I don't feel bad. He clearly was NOT asleep, but tried to make it seem like he was. He is really, really, really bad at that, lol!

    I did ask him how many times I have EVER woken him up because he did not do his chores? He said it had not ever happened. He is right. He now gets that I am supremely irritated. He did say he would not like to see me more upset than this, lol. I have to laugh because honestly? He is pretty funny about it. I don't exactly know what he thinks I will do, and I don't think he knows either. But he says he doesn't want to know, and that is a good thing.

    If he doesn't start doing the few things we ask, he is going to find out what REAL chores are. I will start making him go with me for the grocery shopping, and he will get lessons for how to do every chore (rather than letting him do it his way as long as the result is reasonable). He can also go with me and/or help me as I do things around here, deal with car chores and chauffeur duty and supervising his sister's schooling and comm svc. I can GUARANTEE that he won't like that. It will also dry up the funding for new books, games, dances etc.... until and unless all chores are done with minimal mommy supervision.

    I can also add some yuckier chores. Not sure what, but maybe bathing Captain? I can guarantee neither would enjoy that! It probably took me longer to type this than to do daily chores takes thank you, if he does them properly!

    Things are gonna get interesting around here if tonight's reminder wake-up doesn't motivate him!
  2. InsaneCdn

    InsaneCdn Well-Known Member

    Ummm... is your sig up to date? 12yo teen male plus chores = "normal typical teen refusal"... just sayin'.
    Doesn't make it any less irritating.
    And definitely doesn't mean you take the attitude or the results.

    I dreamed up some "worse" chores and gave difficult child a choice between what he was doing or some "new" ones... and he offered to do something else entirely... well, as ONE of the chores, fine. He actually volunteered to do trash, because he hates cleaning and putting away - mostly because these involve doing "low" work, and... it's a LONG ways down. Most of his other chores now involve strength or height - neither of which K2 has to nearly the same degree (and she isn't short nor a weakling, just no comparison) - and once he got past the 12/13yo level, appealing to those "manly advantages" means that most chores do get done... eventually. I totally agree with thank you doing things like hauling laundry! Come on, Man.... you're building muscles!
  3. AnnieO

    AnnieO Shooting from the Hip

    Straight As... A job... Yeah... Am there, doing that with Onyxx... :sigh: LOL wish I had some wisdom, but...