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<blockquote data-quote="susiestar" data-source="post: 520634" data-attributes="member: 1233"><p>PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE kick that guilt out of your head and heart!!!!!</p><p></p><p>At NO time did you EVER wake up and ask yourself, "How bad can I mess up bb's life today?" I know you and I KNOW for a cold, hard FACT that at every single step you were doing the absolute best you could. So that guilt, while natural to some of us, is totally misplaced!!!</p><p></p><p>You should be dancing around because he is ONLY 13 and you FOUND IT!! You have found major REASONS for his problems along with ways to HELP. Those are HUGE and AWESOME!!!!</p><p></p><p>Just because those problems were not picked up on when he was younger, does NOT mean you didn't give him the supports and other things he needed to develop strengths in other areas, ones that maybe don't show up as clearly now because they are not so necessary for school at this point. </p><p></p><p>Most people live to at least 80 yrs old. You found your son's problems when he has at least 67 years more to go - isn't it great that you have been able to help him make the next 67 yrs as wonderful as possible?</p><p></p><p>I think it is awesome that the school saw that he fit the dyslexic profile and I think that neuropsychologist testing for the lds and Speech Language Pathologist (SLP) testing for the toher issues and even Occupational Therapist (OT) testing for the sensory/motor issues is probably a good thing and would help. But school IS giving him the help he needs now, and that is AWESOME and YOU and H made that happen!!!!!!</p><p></p><p>Are you aware that it takes an average of 7 years of active searching for the right diagnosis to get it? That is AVERAGE which means taht a LOT of our kids take a lot longer to get the right diagnosis because they are complex. So you are doing AWESOME in finding what will help him - NOT something to feel guilty about.</p><p></p><p>We ALL wish we did things different. I wish I had kicked the therapist who told us to beat the defiance out of Wiz with a belt and kicked him in the nuts to the point they fell off because it was HORRIBLE guidance and eh was terribly convincing. Thank Heaven it took husband and I exactly 1 time of following his advice and then we both were vomiting because we were so sick at heart - literally vomiting and difficult child was not bruised or bloody or seriously hurt, it just felt so WRONG to us. This idiot tried to chew me out for listening to my instincts and not to him, and at that point we got the ins co to stop payment to him by filing abuse complaints - and I had his recommendations in writing so it was NOT his word against ours - cause the idiot signed his name to them when I couldn't spell it.</p><p></p><p>Anyway, you did the best you could with what you had at the time, including the real overload of other kids with major problems too. You are on a much better track and things will improve for ALL of you now.</p><p></p><p>I TOTALLY understand the math thing, because my dad and I ended up throwing cans of tomatoes at each other when he tried to help me with my 7th grade math homework!! Then my mom helped and it was easy because she explained it differently. We all bring different strengths to the table and at least H can help him with math. YOU can help him with ohter things - and yoU DO every single day. So you are not superwoman - neither am I. We don't need to be. </p><p></p><p>I am so glad that he is getting the help he needs, and that the school is helping not balking or refusing. I am PROUD of you for pushing to get to this point!!!</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="susiestar, post: 520634, member: 1233"] PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE kick that guilt out of your head and heart!!!!! At NO time did you EVER wake up and ask yourself, "How bad can I mess up bb's life today?" I know you and I KNOW for a cold, hard FACT that at every single step you were doing the absolute best you could. So that guilt, while natural to some of us, is totally misplaced!!! You should be dancing around because he is ONLY 13 and you FOUND IT!! You have found major REASONS for his problems along with ways to HELP. Those are HUGE and AWESOME!!!! Just because those problems were not picked up on when he was younger, does NOT mean you didn't give him the supports and other things he needed to develop strengths in other areas, ones that maybe don't show up as clearly now because they are not so necessary for school at this point. Most people live to at least 80 yrs old. You found your son's problems when he has at least 67 years more to go - isn't it great that you have been able to help him make the next 67 yrs as wonderful as possible? I think it is awesome that the school saw that he fit the dyslexic profile and I think that neuropsychologist testing for the lds and Speech Language Pathologist (SLP) testing for the toher issues and even Occupational Therapist (OT) testing for the sensory/motor issues is probably a good thing and would help. But school IS giving him the help he needs now, and that is AWESOME and YOU and H made that happen!!!!!! Are you aware that it takes an average of 7 years of active searching for the right diagnosis to get it? That is AVERAGE which means taht a LOT of our kids take a lot longer to get the right diagnosis because they are complex. So you are doing AWESOME in finding what will help him - NOT something to feel guilty about. We ALL wish we did things different. I wish I had kicked the therapist who told us to beat the defiance out of Wiz with a belt and kicked him in the nuts to the point they fell off because it was HORRIBLE guidance and eh was terribly convincing. Thank Heaven it took husband and I exactly 1 time of following his advice and then we both were vomiting because we were so sick at heart - literally vomiting and difficult child was not bruised or bloody or seriously hurt, it just felt so WRONG to us. This idiot tried to chew me out for listening to my instincts and not to him, and at that point we got the ins co to stop payment to him by filing abuse complaints - and I had his recommendations in writing so it was NOT his word against ours - cause the idiot signed his name to them when I couldn't spell it. Anyway, you did the best you could with what you had at the time, including the real overload of other kids with major problems too. You are on a much better track and things will improve for ALL of you now. I TOTALLY understand the math thing, because my dad and I ended up throwing cans of tomatoes at each other when he tried to help me with my 7th grade math homework!! Then my mom helped and it was easy because she explained it differently. We all bring different strengths to the table and at least H can help him with math. YOU can help him with ohter things - and yoU DO every single day. So you are not superwoman - neither am I. We don't need to be. I am so glad that he is getting the help he needs, and that the school is helping not balking or refusing. I am PROUD of you for pushing to get to this point!!! [/QUOTE]
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